hello I'm Charlie and this is Meg and
welcome to authentic mental health in
today's video we are both going to be
open and honest and discuss what it's
really like dating someone with anxiety
and depression so for those of you that
don't know I have suffered from anxiety
and depression since I was 15 you can
probably guess but make is my girlfriend
and she doesn't suffer from anxiety or
depression so I'm going to ask make a
few questions and she will be as open
and honest as possible love you
yes about what it's like dating someone
with anxiety and depression so make
there are days or nights when I am not
myself and you can tell that I'm down
and depressed and I might be feeling fed
up of life and I don't really want to do
anything and I kind of lock myself away
in a room do you think it's best if you
leave me alone for a couple of hours to
try and get over it myself why not get
over it but try and feel better myself
or do you think it's best if you come
into the room and you try and cheer me
up what do you think about that do you
think it's better to leave me alone or
to not leave me alone and be with me
what what do you think works best
personally I think it's fun with you how
we don't want anyone with you but when
you're feeling down at first you want
love you want attention you want to want
to know that about you
appreciate you and that everything is
going to be okay but if you are with
someone you just certain from depression
or anxiety need to understand you can't
take it personally and can't how how
they feel
yeah I totally agree with what you said
I might feel
that I want to be left alone but deep
down inside of me I don't want to be
alone I want to be reassured that
everything is going to be okay I want to
feel like I'm loved and wanted and
needed and I think in some ways that
that makes me feel a little less
depressed and also he touched on a very
good point that you said people with
anxiety and depression can't help how
they feel and if you're dating someone
like you are who suffers you mention
don't take it personally so that brings
me on to my second question do you feel
bad or guilty when I am anxious or
depressed and like we've said when I
want to be left alone do you take it
personally and feel like it's your fault
sometimes
and that you can't help me what do you
feel about that I just touch that no one
should any person lady if their partner
is having a bad day but I can't help but
like it doesn't sometimes you can find
them with you and then you feel bad I
feel like I'm the one most vulnerable
cameras even though I shouldn't feel
like that do you can't help the way you
feel and no one's making sure that you
would have just been open and honest
with me and how we actually make you
watch and making your mouth don't want
you out go away so so basically you kind
of feel like it's your fault slightly
because you're supposed to make me happy
then that's what a relationship is but
then on the other hand you understand
how I am and why I fit not necessarily
why I feel like that but how I'm feeling
so when I'm anxious or depressed you
understand that so it's not like I
appreciate wings or down-up I'm getting
to the point now we've been joking over
yeah we're I understand you more
business if you are hundred bad days and
six months ago
I would take a green earth me and I
would think I'll actually do my fault
while amazing laughing why am i messing
feel like this alright I'm doing a
student lightness it's in solitude
anthem anymore you know anything can
trigger more it's not actually you know
you might just matter a bad day yeah I
think I think that's a very very good
point that you mentioned the more you
get to know me the more you understand
it a lot better whereas at the beginning
you did feel really responsible not
responsible but you did feel as if it
you couldn't help me yeah just I was
initially using Bower wouldn't really
ignore you Ryan and I just put it down
to me not making feel happy well that
well you know now that wasn't the case
at all you know you did make me happy
but it was difficult so my next question
for you is would you prefer me to be
open and honest the first time we spunk
or on our first day when do you think
the right time is for someone to tell
the other person they're dating or
really like that they suffer for anxiety
depression do you think you should tell
them straight away do you think you
should wait a couple of weeks do you
think they should find out for
themselves what what do you think about
that when do you think the right time is
to find out will tell them I think to be
honest if you are there in the right
person you will know if they simplify
anxiety or depression so we see signs
but for instance I think is master
friend the best thing to do is just be
straight and just say actually I don't
feel comfortable doing this or I have
gotten lost or depression or actually
let me know overall sexual and what
makes is more bad yes because by being
on it you know that's how don't trust
any bill commitment so do you think for
someone who's watching the
with anxiety depression do you think
they should tell the person they're
looking today or maybe they're even in a
relationship and there have been for a
couple of weeks do you think they should
be open and honest now
and tell their partner call the person
they like now is that is that what you
would suggest from someone yeah doesn't
suffer do you think you know what just
be open be honest tell them if they
don't like it then they're not right for
you yeah and it means thank you waiting
more times yeah exactly yeah yeah it's
important just to get out there or make
partner aware how you feel how your
brain whether point from me on this
question and topic I think it's
important if you suffer from anxiety and
depression to be with the right person
so you need to be open and honest I'm
not saying from the first time you speak
or the first day but quite early on need
to be open and honest with your partner
or the person you like because you need
to feel comfortable with that person
when you feel or suffer from anxiety
depression you want that person to
understand you don't want that person to
turn around and push it in your face and
say I don't understand you or shout at
you or make you feel worse even more
anxious or even more depressed so my
advice on that is be open and honest
straight away and that's from the
perspective of the person who suffers
from anxiety and depression I think just
you guys go off that point when you make
them aware and you make them understand
when you're going down you can towards
that person now have a bit more
understanding or bringing what you're
going through and how you feel because
you will avoid pre-warn then yeah yeah
so they're already aware aren't they and
they know what's going on and they won't
feel as guilty or think it's their fault
or your you don't deserve them or care
about them is that pretty much what you
say you know what click that yes yes so
my next question is I suffer slightly
from
social anxiety as you know now so I
don't like go into crowded places where
the really big crowds like firemen take
a football stadium where the 30,000
people and I feel trapped we don't
really do many things where the
thousands of people so he doesn't go to
gigs we don't go to football matches or
things that you might enjoy honestly do
you feel that because of the way I feel
and I am you are not getting the most
out of life
so trying to take a viewers with someone
else who didn't suffer from anxiety and
depression you would do all of those
things do you feel as if I hold you back
in life because of my anxiety and
depression now I know that's a difficult
question to ask because obviously what I
hope you love me and care for me but I
think it's a good question to ask so
they can understand a bit more about
being in a relationship with anxiety and
depression because there are days when
you say to me Charlie let's go and do
this and I will say to you Meg I don't
really feel like doing that so on those
days you must feel upset and down and
maybe slightly angered with me do you
feel like I let you down or are you
completely totally understanding of the
situation when I might not want to do
something but you really want to because
on a personal note I feel really bad and
it does make me more depressed knowing
I've let you down and you really want to
do something but I feel like I can't
because of the way I feel today I think
that any day if we say plan to say don't
go harping and and then Vincent you're
not going up to it yeah I'm not going to
lie I will obviously be a noise which is
always people to say doing for me
however it's not in the world you know I
can go off and do friends or whatever
you know there's always a need to accept
that sometimes do not forget today doing
cement called it on no time rearrange
things and princesses and by today we
can go and do some it Brad yeah well
I'll touch on something I've already
gone over a couple of minutes ago is on
those days I feel like I've let you down
because I don't feel up to doing
something and I it really upsets me more
knowing that I've let you down because I
know how excited you are and looking
forward to doing something and then I
might say at the last minute Meg I'm
really really sorry I really don't feel
up to it today so I think it's just
having a balance of you being
understanding and me being honest
instead of lying so instead of lying to
your partner and making an excuse up
saying something might have happened to
someone or coming up with an excuse that
isn't true just be open and honest with
them and say look I don't feel up to it
today I feel depressed today I feel
anxious today I don't want to do this
and you know being honest and open is
the key really is and instead of me
lying to you and saying hey make my mom
says we've got to go and shopping I
can't come that would upset you more
knowing that I'm like you win it you
don't need you saying yeah at the end of
the day relationship all about trust so
you need to be honest with each other in
order to be relationship to oh yeah I
thought I'd be agree so do you have
anything else or any advice you have for
someone who is dating someone with
anxiety and depression and doesn't yet
understand the person they're dating
with the ends eyes expression do you
have any advice or tips for girls or
boys at home like yourself I think if
you really like someone you really want
to do with someone who has got
depression anxiety or a mental illness
you need to be patient you need to
understand
reasons behind everything it's not
knowing and your vest won't move on you
won't you know go forward and in the
relationship and you know you can't
accept it don't be in it
don't waste anyone's time it's not worth
it what's nice is to sure and from the
point of the person with anxiety or
depression I've said it plenty of times
in this video just be open and honest if
that person if you can't be open and
honest and you feel you have to hide
things and lie to the person you're
going out with does not really a
relationship there's that there's no
interest there's no communication you
have to hide things there's no point in
being together with them so if you can't
be open honest and you have the lying on
things you've got to look at the
relationship and think well if this
person doesn't understand me is to
refute you and more times than not the
answer is probably no reason it we love
to know your thoughts on this topic are
you in a relationship with someone who
has anxiety and depression or do you
have anxiety in depression and then you
in a relationship with someone who like
Meg doesn't suffer we'd love to know
your stories in the comments we'd love
to know that advice from you guys and
girls at home how do you think your
relationship works or how do you think
your relationship doesn't work let us
know we'd love to read your thoughts on
this and if you have any advice or tips
for me or Meg we'd love to know your
input if you've enjoyed this video
please give it a like don't forget to
subscribe to authentic mental health for
more content like this in the future we
are now over 37,000 500 subscribers and
I possibly may we'll see you tomorrow