Tony Stark?
Come on in.
Hello, Tony.
I'm Michael.
OK, buddy.
Where am I? Who are you?
And what's going on?
You, Tony Stark, are dead.
Your life on earth has ended, and you are now on the next phase of your existence in the universe
Huh.
I don't remember DYING in the infinity war.
Thats usually reserved for supporting characters and the unattractive.
In cases of traumatic or embarrassing deaths,
we erase the memory to allow for a peaceful transition.
Do you want to know
Im sure it was awesome and heroic and I looked dashing.
Slipped on a banana peel following the after credit scenes.
I see.
Everyone was significantly traumatized by the events of the infinity war
but *laughing* still managed to laugh.
GREAT.
So to your case.
Generally speaking, in the afterlife there's a good place and theres a bad place.
I'm happy to tell you you're...
in the good place.
You're OK tony!
Yeah, I don't think so.
Excuse me?
This is the bad place.
Ha ha ha
what?!
N...
Nooooo!
Listen buddy,
I started out this MORNING
doing about 25 sinful things that would get me banned from most of eastern europe,
least of all, you know, heaven.
You're being too hard on yourself, Tony.
You've sacrificed yourself for the greater good numerous times.
You're definitely in the good place.
Wasting your time, pal.
Theres no fooling me.
Im the one who figured out BANKSY was Meryl Streep.
*bell*
Meryl Steep WAS Banksy from 2002 to 2008.
Current Banksy is Timothee chalamet.
Who the fork is this?
Thats Janet.
The informational assistant here in the Good Place.
No different than your Jarvis!
You can ask her anything you'd like!
*clears throat*
Janet, whats the weather like in Boston right now?
The weather in Boston right now is cloudy,
with a chance of screw you.
What the--?
Basic operational mainframe created by makers of light, darkness and everything.
Yeah?
Relatively easy to hack.
You should re-calibrate your security systems.
There's no way you could've known this!
Tony Stark is the hottest SOB around this shitty place.
Michael is a bitch.
Stop that!
And his bowtie is stupid.
*gasp* She didn't mean that!
I agree.
Extremely lame for the bad place.
very lame.
This isnt the bad place!
Michael is a *long censor bleep*
*still bleeping*
I could do this all day, buddy.
FINE! Ok, you got us.
GOD.
THIS is why you're in the bad place, you insufferable...
APE!
Thats more like it.
So whats the plan torture-wise?
*snaps fingers*
Boiling oil. Is it boiling oil?
Endless whipping?
Forced to re-live Iron man 2. Thats it, thats the one.
We've devised an elaborate plan,
in which youll be forced to live with a group of such wildly conflicting personalities,
you'll only bring out the worst in one another.
In no other circumstance would you have even met,
But here?
you'd have to cooperate for eternity, thus- torturing each other.
(Maniacal laugh)
That's the Avengers. You're describing the Avengers.
What do you suggest we do with you, then!?
*boiling water, fire sfx*
This is the most relaxed I've been in the last 10 years.
I hate humans.
Janet, who's next?
So i'm happy to tell you...
You're in the good place!