-Our first guest is an Emmy Award-winning
actress and director whose hit podcast
"Say More with Dr? Sheila" is available now.
You can also see her
along with Tina Fey on their "Restless Leg tour,"
which has been extended into February.
11 -- count them -- 11 shows at the Beacon Theatre
here in New York City.
Please welcome back to the show
our very good friend Amy Poehler, everybody.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
-Hi, Seth! -Hello!
-Hello! -The city just feels better
to have you back in it. -Oh, it's so nice to be here
on the last show of the year for you.
-The last show of the year, yeah.
-Big show. [ Cheers and applause ]
-You're someone -- I've known you for a long time.
I feel like you do take the turning
into a new year seriously.
You do see it as an opportunity. -I do.
I have a lot of thoughts about it I want to talk about,
but I do want to say thank you for having me on,
'cause I know this is an important show
and Christmas show and, like -- -Yeah, we put
a lot of thought into it. -A lot of thought.
And when you guys called me yesterday...
-Yeah. -...to do it --
-It was a yesterday situation. -It felt great.
It felt great. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-It was a real bait and switch too,
because we were making dinner plans with you.
-We had dinner last night, as normal friends.
-Yeah. -With Mike Shoemaker,
producer on the show, and, um...
we were -- And then I'm just curious.
You don't have to name any names, but what happened?
Like, who was supposed to be here?
-Are you saying that maybe there was somebody
who was scheduled to be here,
and they dropped out last minute?
-I just have a feeling that you guys don't usually
do a day-of bookings. -Yeah.
-But... -It's kind of
my improv background is, like, to day-of it.
-Yeah. Okay. -I love to, like, day-of it.
-Ugh!
Don't lean in when you say -- [ Chuckles ]
-Well, I don't know. -But I'm thrilled to be here.
I feel like the neighbor next door...
-Yes. -...and you're borrowing
my sugar. -Yeah, absolutely.
-Yes. -Thank you for that.
-But we are gearing up on the holidays.
-Mm-hmm.
Oh, your parents are actually here.
Bill and Eileen Poehler are in the audience tonight.
-In the audience. [ Cheers and applause ]
-I've known them for a very long time.
-You have, you have.
Hilary and Larry and Bill and Eileen
have gone to many "SNL" shows.
-Very, very -- A lot of after parties.
-Yeah. And, um, we have -- -I think both
of our dads think that if Lorne Michaels had met them
when they were a little bit younger,
they would have been on the show, yeah.
-They would have been on the show.
But, um, we have a tradition.
My parents come to town and we take the kids and we go
and we haggle for the Christmas tree.
-Oh, you buy the Christmas tree together?
-Yeah. -So who's the head haggler
of your family? -My father is head haggler.
-Yeah. -Um, haggler extraordinaire,
and he goes and he goes to the Christmas tree guy,
a wonderful guy that we buy from every year,
and he's like, "200 bucks? I'm out of here!"
And, you know, the guy plays along
and he's like, "No, wait!
You're a great customer! I got to get you this tree!"
And, um, we do it every year.
And when the kids were little, they were blown away.
-Yeah. -They were like,
"We almost didn't get a tree."
Like... -Right.
-And now I think they're catching on.
-Now they're like, "Oh, I'm watching a show.
This is like a panto."
-That is our nativity scene. That's what --
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Um, so you've got Christmas
and then you got New Year's. -New Year's.
You have your resolutions? Resolutions?
-Fred, are you ready to go? -Fred, do you have any?
-Resolutions? -Yes.
-Great. -Okay. Great.
-Yeah. -We don't want to --
I don't want to know them.
-Fred, if you don't mind, we don't want to hear it.
-I don't want to hear them. We don't want to hear them.
But I wrote some resolutions. -Yeah?
-I wrote some resolutions. -Great.
-If it's okay, I want to share them with the audience
so you guys can support me. -Yes.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Alright.
-Are you confident?
Are you confident you're going to keep your resolutions?
-Uh, I didn't put that as a resolution, so no.
-Okay. -But let's see.
Let's see if it happens. Um, okay.
So in 2024, when people say, "Hey, how's it going?"
instead of saying "good,"
I'm going to say, "I'm doing the best that I can."
-Oh, that's good. [ Laughter ]
-And I think that that -- -That's good.
-Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Um, in 2024 I'm going to continue to ignore cats.
-Okay. -Because -- [ Laughs ]
-Yeah. -I like them fine.
-Yeah. -You know, everyone
should treat cats wonderfully. -Yeah.
-And I get -- I'm a little bit allergic,
but if you ignore them, they become obsessed with you.
-Oh! -So every time I go over
to someone's house, the cat jumps in my lap,
it, like, gets in my purse
and wants me to take it home because I ignore it, so...
-So, you're not ignoring it 'cause you hate cats.
You're playing hard to get to sort of covet...
Wow. -Maybe.
[ Laughter ] Okay.
Um, Seth, this year, next year, I'm going to create
some new slang, and I want to try it out here.
-Oh, great! We love new slang here.
-[ Exhales sharply ]
Um, instead of instead of calling someone a dummy...
-Yeah? -...I think we should call him
a ding dong. -Okay.
-Which isn't that new, but I don't think it's used enough.
Like, what, a ding dong. -Yeah, kids aren't using it.
-Kids aren't using it. -And I think it would be --
Bringing it back into vogue would be very nice.
-But I know that slang needs to mean two things, right?
-Right. -Like, it can't just
mean one thing anymore, so I also think ding dong
would be a good thing to replace "What's up?"
-Oh, okay. -So, like, if you don't
hear from your friend, you just text him,
you go, "Ding dong." -I see.
-"Ding dong."
And then you can go, "Ding dong, ding dong.
-Oh, there you go.
Both uses.
-So... -Yeah. Ding dong. I like that.
You're sort of like knocking at the door
of their psyche, being like,
"Hello?" -[ Laughs ] Exactly!
-"Ding dong. Knock knock."
-"Knock knock." Yeah. It's like knock --
Yeah, it's a little bit like "knock knock."
But it's cool. It's cool.
I'm just going to get Travis Scott to say it
and we'll be good. -Okay.
-Um, okay.
I'm going to end all my work e-mails with...
"Oops!"
[ Laughter ]
-And you're not worried that people might reread
the e-mail to try to find a mistake?
-No, I just think it's going to cover me HR-wise,
and I think that... I think that'll be good.
-That's great.
-Oh, um, I'm going to start a cult.
-Oh, great. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-You'll be so good at it. Can I just say --
-Thank you!
Well, let me ask you this. -Okay.
-I'm going to go off the list. -Okay.
-I'm gonna get off the page. -Okay, great.
-Um, do you think you would be more apt
to join a cult or start a cult?
-I'm a joiner. -[ Laughs ]
This is -- -100%.
Like, I actually think... -Fred?
-I think I'm a joiner, too. -I think you are, too.
-I think the main thing for me in a cult is, like,
I want to stop making any decisions.
-Yeah. Well, good news.
In my cult, you're not going to need
to make any decisions. -Okay.
I would always pick you as a starter,
not a joiner, FYI. -100%.
And what I love so much about cults is how --
it's like a Tim Robinson sketch,
like how the rules come in,
and at first they sound really good
and they always end up with like, "And then -- Huh.
I guess rule seven is, like, everybody have sex with me."
Like -- -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It always gets to that. -Yeah.
-But in my cult it's going to be more like mothering.
Like, there was this really good documentary.
I don't know if you saw it.
It was about -- I won't mention the cult
because I don't want to bring up the "competish."
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
-But it was all about like mother, mother, mother god.
-Oh. [ Woman screams ]
-Mother god. -Oh, so either some
former members or they saw the doc.
[ Laughter ] It must be so exciting.
Do you think when you get out of a cult --
Obviously it's a bad time. -Yeah.
-But when you get out, do you still have that thing,
like, it's your hometown where somebody mentions it
and you can't help it going... [ Both cheer ]
-That's my coll-- I mean, that's bad.
-That was bad, but...
I met good friends.
It was bad, but I made a lot of friends.
-You're right. I still tailgate at the cult.
-Yeah. -But, um, anyway,
I want to be like a mother -- like mother.
I want to be called some kind of mother.
-Okay. -And I what I liked about that
particular cult is that when --
when, um, the cult leader was tired,
everyone was like, "Mother is resting."
-Yeah. -Just a few more, Seth.
-That's great. -I'm going to make
one robot friend next year. -Oh.
-And I suggest everyone does. -Okay.
Now does, like -- Can I ask -- Well, go ahead.
-I feel like -- Can I ask? -Yeah.
-Like, does Siri count,
or do you need, like, an actual robot?
-I think it's going to have to count
'cause I don't know how many actual robots
I'm going to get to meet next year.
So Alexa, Siri, I feel like that will count.
But I do think we're going to need to have at least one friend
when the war starts. -Yeah.
To, like, vouch for you? -To whatever.
Vouch, translate. Hide us.
Whatever it is, like, we're going to --
So I think we're going to need to get rid of human friends
and make more robot friends. -Okay.
-And my GPS has an Australian accent
for some reason. -Uh-huh.
-I don't know why, so I'm going to try to make friends with her.
-Okay, great. -Um, okay.
-Can you do real quick your GPS telling you to turn?
Wait, do you have to do that face before you do...?
-Australia face! -I mean, by the way, can I say,
the minute you did it, I'm like, "Australian."
If I -- If I walked in --
-[ Speaks indistinctly in Australian accent ]
-What? -[ Indistinct ]
-Razor blades? Why does your GPS say razor blades?
-When you say "raise up lights,"
it sounds like "razor blades" in Australian.
[ Australian accent ] Rise up lights.
-Oh, that's good. That's like --
Did you ever hear that "air hair lair"
is how to do a good fancy British person
saying "oh, hello there."
Air hair lair!
[ Laughter ]
-Alright. You do your British.
I'll do my Australian. -Okay.
-Razor blades! -Air hair lair!
[ Laughter ]
-That's good.
-Can I -- -That was like a PBS...
-That was our master class right there.
-That was like a PBS show. That was so good. Um, okay.
And then, lastly, I have
a couple quick resolutions for you if you're ready.
-You've written my resolutions?
-Yeah, "a few for you, Seth."
That's what it says. You ready? Okay.
Number one, I think next year
you should start tipping.
[ Laughter ]
-I just -- Can I say my thing?
I mean, you've been at dinner with me. You've heard me say it.
The money is for all of it, though.
-No, Seth, we've gone over this. -Why?
Just put whatever -- Price it into the hamburger.
-Think about it. Think about tipping next year.
-Okay. -Um. Okay.
You know -- I know you're going to disagree with me on that.
You know how they say dance like nobody's watching?
I think maybe you should start dancing like people
are watching. [ Laughter ]
-Just, like, keep it in mind.
-Just because people are watching.
You're very famous. You have a show.
Like, people are watching. -Were you --
You know, at some "SNL" after parties, I mean,
if there was a catch phrase you had
at the after party, it was you being like,
[whispering] "People are watching you."
-I would grab you and go, "People are watching." Yeah.
And then the last one is
I think you should make a robot friend.
-Okay. -And then I think we should
introduce them to each other and then we could have
a robot wedding!
A robot wedding! -Oh, my God,
a robot wedding would be so fun.
-And robot babies! -Oh.
-And we could -- We could officiate a robot wedding.
-This was, um -- Can I say, you are,
I mean, one of the great last-minute guests of all time.
That was fantastic. -Thank you guys so much.
-So good. -I wrote this in the car.
I wrote this in the car. -So good that
you did not even plug yourself.
But I just want to say very quickly,
this is my favorite podcast of the year.
"Say More with Dr? Sheila." Check it out.
[ Cheers and applause ] If you live in New York City,
go see these two at the Beacon Theatre.
They're gonna do 11 shows in February, and they're doing --
you're doing shows all over the country.
-It's been so fun.
We're just partying on the road.
We're going nonstop. -Yeah.
-We do a show, we get right home, we take a bath,
we go to Bloomingdale's the next day, every day.
Rinse, repeat. Show, bedtime. Bloomingdale's, show...!
-Wow! The road! -Yeah. The road.
-I love you very much.
-I love you. -Thank you for being here.
-Amy Poehler, everybody! [ Cheers and applause ]
"Say More with Dr? Sheila" is available now.
And for more info on The Restless Leg Tour,
go to tinaamytour.com.
We'll be right back with Jack Antonoff.