Bachelor franchise
has announced they have two new spin-off episodes.
One of them is for people in their golden years,
which, on The Bachelor, means over 30.
And... Oh, is that them?
Yeah, she looks good. You can tell he's a little old.
But he wears his sweater cool, you know what I mean?
-Like... -Yeah.
Like, "I'm not 70. I'm 60."
You know?
Anyway, it, uh, it's for people 65 and up.
Ooh, there's my chance.
And, uh...
and it, uh, airs on ABC at 4:00 p.m.
(laughter)
(cheering and applause)
-They know what to do. -I don't know.
I don't know if I'm... I don't know if I'm into it.
It feels like it lowers the stakes, you know what I mean?
It's like, "Yeah, sure, I'll-I'll be with you
for the rest of my life. I have three months to live."
And that is what we call a real 90-day fiancé.
(laughter)
-(cheering and applause) -Yeah. -Get it?
Drop that...
-Yeah. -I-I don't want to watch it
because, like, on The Bachelor,
they kind of get a little freaky and stuff.
And it's like, I only want to see my grandma
yell "Jesus" one way, you know?
-That's, uh... -That's a good point.
That's... See, that's my problem
is, like, there's a reason there are young people Frenching.
You don't want to see two old people un...
Here... Oh, shut up.
She does. She does.
Here's what we do to make it interesting.
It's an old person. A 65-year-old and a millennial.
'Cause old people don't give a shit,
and they'll say crazy stuff like,
"Why don't you Snapchat these nuts."
And then that would be it. Wouldn't that be great?
Oh, and then the old people get excited.
They'll be like, "There's nuts here?"
Exactly!
-You get it. -Yeah, you get it.
I just... I feel like it's, like, gonna change
a lot of the dynamics, you know what I mean?
It'll be like, "Do you take this Rose?"
They'll be like, "No, I prefer that Ethel."
(laughter)
-(applause) -Some things. They'll be like...
She'll be like, uh, "No, I am here to make friends.
I lost all of mine in the '90s."
(laughter)
It'll take them forever to get out of the limo, you know?
"Mabel, are you coming?"
-She's like... -CHRISTINA: That's so gross.
-"Little help?" -CHRISTINA: I know.
My dad is 74, and he dates, um--
Actually, he just married a 34-year-old Vietnamese woman
that he met online.
-(whooping) -I know.
I'm like, "That bitch came with a receipt."
They're gonna be like, they're gonna be like,
-"I love you so..." -Shut up.
She's my Viet mom. I can say whatever the (bleep) I want.
These will be fun dates.
Uh, she'll talk about how she used to work
with Rosie the Riveter during World War II.
The second spin-off is called Bachelor: Listen to Your Heart,
where 20 single men and women sing songs
-and explore a relationship. -Ugh.
Since it's about, uh, having musical talent,
maybe a black person will finally win.
Um, so...
-Preacher, any thoughts? -Yeah, Preacher. -Preacher,
any thoughts?
At first-- Hey. So all the black questions coming to me?
All right. I wasn't ready.
All right. Uh, I don't-- I mean, this is kind of like--
they just wanted-- they're just-- they're running out
of ideas, I think. And so I can't wait
for they bring up the comedian seasons,
'cause I'm-a be like, "Knock-knock, who there?
Me. For the rest of your life."
-SPADE: For the rest of your life? -You know?
(laughs) I'll be here.
I kind of... I kind of like the idea of, like,
different reality shows, like, mashing up and becoming hybrids,
like-like, uh, Drag Race meets Chopped.
We called it Chopped. You know, something like that.
(laughter, groaning)
I guess they had so many people coming on The Bachelor
just trying to pursue a singing career,
they were like, "Screw it. Let's just make this about..."
-SPADE: Let's just roll with it, make the show... -Yeah.
It does. You're right. Doesn't feel as promising.
What's good is when-- I saw America's Best Decoupager
the other night. Now, that...
-I don't even-- What is decoupage? -I don't know.
I used to make it as a kid. You take a board,
and then you put some goop. Whatever.
I told you it's not as good.