- Ali is a millionaire and he doesn't buy food.
He walks around Hughes Market
eating all the samples at lunchtime.
And he said, "Cause I'm saving money."
I said, "What for?"
He went, "Do you know,
"I never ever thought about that."
"What am I saving? I don't know.
"'Cause I can't reason, but in my head,
"I must save my money."
My brother went to a private school and I didn't,
not because my parents were the ones who went,
"Well, girls don't."
He passed an exam and went to a private school.
I didn't pass the exam,
so I didn't go to this private school.
But in the private school where most of the kids that go
are children of very rich parents, they do these,
we call it maths and they'd go,
"Right, here's the maths for today,
"you have eight factories and you sell two,
how many have you got left?
Well, the answer's six.
But in my school, they said, "you have eight bananas
"and you give two away how many we got left?"
The answer is six.
But I always thought that was very interesting,
in his school, they were talking about investing.
You have eight factories, and you sell two,
you've got six left,
you've got all the money from the two that you just sold.
But my school is all about bananas, apples, and pears
and I've given them away.
I gave away my apples and I've only got six left,
but I haven't got any investment.
And that was always interesting to me that the private
schools teach children differently.
They talk about investing and when you grow up,
there's an assumption when you grow up
you've got eight factories.
When I grew up, I've got eight bananas.
And that's so interesting because these little kids
at five and six in this private system
already learning what they live.
"When I grow up, I'll have eight factories
"and I'll sell two, and I'll invest the money from the two.
"Maybe I'll have eight houses
"or maybe I'll have something else,
"but I've only got bananas and I'm giving them away,
"so I'm very disadvantaged here."
And that sounds silly,
but it's all about the relationship with money.
You see people who have money, don't fear it.
They do see it as a form of energy,
they're not scared of it.
They also don't waste it because you learn what you live.
And several years ago,
I was asked to work with someone who'd won the lottery,
and I was doing a TV show then.
He worked in a cookie factory
and he earned about £200,
that's about $280 a week.
You see, I'm not great at currency conversion,
that's not my gift, actually maths.
I can put my hand up and say, "That is not my gift
"and it's not meant to be my gift."
So I don't care that I can't convert dollars to pounds
or euros for that matter.
So he earned not very much money.
And when you don't have very much money,
you have a small pay packet,
by the end of the week, it's all gone.
Because you get your pay packet and you pay the rent
and you pay the bills, and maybe you go out
and you buy some stuff, and it's all gone.
So when he won 10 million sterling,
which is, I don't know, $14 million,
what do you think he did?
Have a guess?
- [Audience] Spent it all.
- Spent the whole lot in two years,
if he'd won $100 million
he would have done the same, by the way, it was all gone.
Because investing was something totally
unfamiliar to him, he didn't even know what that was saving,
putting it away, buying stuff that goes up in value,
buying stocks, that's just another country to him.
What he understood was buying cars,
buy more cars, buy a house.
And in the end, he had a field full of cars
that he was racing, and then it all went.
He went on amazing holidays.
He paid for everyone else to go on holiday,
he didn't have a clue about saving it.
And in fact, I later learned that when people
who haven't had money, win a lot of money,
if you don't get to them very quickly,
help them to invest, it will all go.
And if you Google "penniless lottery winners"
you'll find quite a lot because that was so
unfamiliar to him, investing.
But then he said something very interesting.
We were doing this television interview, he said,
"I prefer it."
He said, "I'm right now, back in the cookie factory,
"I'm earning the same amount of money.
"I'm so much happier.
"I didn't like having all that money.
"I didn't know who I was."
He said, "You know, I moved away from all my friends,"
because his friends lived on an estate, and they all worked
in the same factory, and they had a life.
And when he got a big house in the country,
he didn't really like it.
So he got rid of that money as fast as he could,
and he went back to what's familiar.
And I'm going to tell you later about how the mind is wired,
hardwired to love what is familiar,
to massively resist what is unfamiliar.
And I've seen that many, many times.
I worked with two different rock bands,
each of them are earning each, 4 million sterling a year,
and each of them, when the band folded, had nothing,
they'd bought Rolex watches and Porsches,
but they had no investments at all because they too
came from that life where the week ran out before,
the money ran out before the week ran out.
And so when they had money,
they just spent it all.
And so your relationship with money at an early stage
affects your relationship with money later on.
And it is energy, that's all it is.
And if you don't fear it,
and if you don't believe these beliefs
you picked up as a child, then everything will change.
So I love being a therapist and I've invented my own
form of therapy, which I love.
And one of the things in my therapy that really works
amazingly, is I used to take clients back to three scenes.
They'd come in with a whole list.
"I'm bulimic."
"I'm anorexic."
"I'm a sexaholic."
"I'm an alcoholic."
"I'm terrified of bees or birds or elevators."
Doesn't matter what they came in with,
I'd take them back to three scenes and then I would go,
"Okay, now here's the three scenes,"
and I'm like a detective one, two, three.
"Now I'm going to tell you that you do this now,
"because of that.
"And now we've got all that worked out
"and now I'm going to cure you."
And that was very effective.
And then I learned that if I let the client tell me,
it was much more effective because they would work it out.
Because occasionally they'd argue with me.
So I'd say to someone, "Right,
"so we've gone back to these three scenes,
"in each scene, you're not allowed to have dessert.
"In scene one, and in scene two your mother won't get you
"a cake on your birthday
"'cause you can't have one and the last scene,
"everyone's at this picnic and they've all got cake
"and you've got some boring avocado
"'cause your mum's some health nut
"and guacamole and you can't have candy.
"And now here you are today, obese
"and you can't stop eating candy.
"And let's look at scene one, two and three,
"not allowed candy, not allowed candy.
"And when you open your lunch, you just go,
"'Ah, look at that, that's disgusting.
"'What is guacamole?"
"'I've got like Smarties and Jelly Babies and Jelly Beans,'
"and your brain is like, 'I need loads of candy
"'cause I haven't got it.'
"And now 40 years later,
"you're mainlining Jelly Beans."
And sometimes they go, "No, that's not true.
"That's not true at all."
And I go, "Okay, well you tell me?"
And they go, "Well, I don't know,
"but I know it's not that."
So then I began to say to my clients,
"Okay, it's what I call left hand, right hand,
"Here's the three scenes from your past,
"and here you are today.
"How did those three scenes then affect you?"
And they tell me exactly what it was.
And I love that because the thing in life
is that scenes don't affect you,
even events don't affect you,
but the meaning you attach to a scene,
oh boy, does that affect you.
The way you interpret a scene will affect you.
So I'd get my clients to do their own interpretation,
I knew they got it right.
But then I learned to take them back to each scene again
and have them go, "It's not me.
"That's not me because..."
So I want you to turn to your neighbor.
I want you to get into twos.
You didn't have to move.
And I want you to go back to your money scene,
one, and I want you to say to your neighbor,
"That's not me, because..." So let's pretend it's me
and my dad would take me to this shop, and by the way,
when they bought me this hideous bit of chocolate,
they always bought themselves amazing stuff,
which is even more weird.
It's like, "Oh, you can have
"that really expensive Lindt chocolate
"and I've got this horrible thing.
"So I can't have what other people have."
So that was my scene.
And you see, we learn what we live.
We carry on these stories, "Oh, we never had money.
"No one in my family had money.
"Everyone in my family went bankrupt.
"All my family are working class."
And I have had many people say,
"Well, you shouldn't have more than your grandparents."
Or, "I never had that, why should you have it?
"Why should you have a lovely computer for Christmas?
"I never had computers.
"Why should you have those Nike trainers
"When I can get them in Target,
"Target's own brand for half the money."
And so we hear this stuff, and then we go,
"Oh, it's not available to me."
And so most of my clients carry on
this luggage of life, this story.
But when you say, "Oh, okay, that's not me."
I would never go into a shop now and go,
"What's the cheapest candy you have
"'cause that's got my name on it?"
I buy what I want.
And I sometimes buy the most expensive stuff.
My trainee who got really freaked out every time
she had to spend on stuff.
I had one client who used to go into stores at lunchtime
and eat all the sample food, and he was a millionaire.
And when they were a kid,
they was so poor that he had to go to the store and ask
if they had stale bread or dented tins.
And sometimes the store manager would go,
"Yeah, it's a little store, but yes,
we've got some dented cans of soup you can have.
And other times he goes, "Stop coming here.
"My job is not to give you my stock.
"Go away."
And he was like 10,
and his mom gave him the job,
"Go out, and you've got to get food
"for the whole family, steal it, beg,
"ask for it."
You can imagine what that did to a 10-year-old kid,
he was so horrified and now he's a millionaire
and he doesn't buy food.
He walks around Hughes Market,
eating all the samples at lunchtime.
And he said, 'Cause I'm saving money.
I said, "What for?
He went, "Do you know I never ever thought about that."
"What am I saving? I don't know
"'cause I can't, but in my head
"I must save money.
"So I buy out of date products,
"I still buy dented cans.
"I go to really cheap places to eat
"and I always eat samples.
"If they're giving away samples, I'm in the queue,
"cramming them into my mouth."
And I said, "Because you still feel like
"that 10 year old kid who had to beg for food,
or take food or get free food,
but you're a millionaire.
Another of my clients very differently,
his wife said to me, "Please sort out my husband."
She said, "When we go out to eat,
"he puts his hand around the food, and he crams it
"in his mouth like that, it's so embarrassing.
"It's all gone in five minutes.
"Everyone else hasn't even started.
"And if you take a fry off his plate, he will go mental."
In fact, one of his kids ate something in the cupboard,
I think a packet of his potato chips,
and he took a snooker cue,
and he smashed up the child's bedroom,
smashed it up, broke the television, everything,
because they'd eaten something of his without asking him.
So, and she said, "You know,
"we don't even have dinner parties because the way he eats
"is just horrifying.
"So we don't, we have no life.
"We never go out to dinner.
"We never go to restaurants.
"I can't even look at him anymore when he eats
"because it's just like, it's just crazy,
"and he can't stop."
So I did a regression, and I said,
"Okay, let's go back to a scene,"
and back, he was.
And when he was a kid, he had a stutter, and amazingly,
they put him in care because he had a stutter,
because he had a speech impediment, he couldn't speak,
so they put him in a children's home.
And then when he, all the kids stole his foods,
they put down sausages and fries
and they'd steal his sausage and he couldn't speak,
he couldn't tell anyone because he had a stutter.
By the time he'd gone (stuttering),
"Oh, nevermind."
Because they've got hundreds of other kids, they're not
really that interested in him.
And so he learned to put his hands around his food,
to get a fork and to stab any kid that came near him
to try and eat his food.
And I said, "Well, that makes sense.
"But you're now 52, and you're famous,
"and you're a multi-millionaire,
"and you're not living in a children's home
"except in your head and smashing up your kids' room
"'cause they eat some of your stuff.
"And eating like that is crazy
"'cause you're still acting like you're a little kid."
And so I made him say, "It's not me.
"That's not me because..."
And his wife said,
"Oh my God, we just went out to dinner
"and he sat and ate the food slowly.
"And he gave me some food off his plate,
"I nearly fainted."
And he's a completely different person
because first you have to understand.
Understanding is power.
Understanding in hypnosis is the most phenomenal power,
and then you have to change.
People go, "I know I do that."
"Yeah, I've been to a therapist."
"I know exactly why I drink."
"I know I shout at my wife."
"I know why I always get fired, but I still do it."
So that's not quite good enough.
You have to know it and change it.
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The difference between success and failure
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