domestic violence victims often just stya numbers
Springfield 11th homicide victim was more than that her mom says
she's a young vibrant carrying nineteen year old girl
named tyshianna atkins they called her ana her mom truly Pantoliano
joins me now to talk about why she wants to change her daughter's memory from a
statistic
to a person Trudy thanks so much for coming on and talking
to me about this why is and this has got to be so tough I can't even imagine
being in
your seat right now so I'm not going even sit here and try to pretend to be
in your
seat cuz I can't even imagine that why is her memory
keeping her memory so alive why is that so important to you
thanks for having me here today cuz
unfortunately now that it happened to my family I was really unaware
that young girls this young this happens to
now it has affected my life and my family
and I have other daughters I need to be able to speak to someone
to get the word out there that it has to stop they need to have avenues
to go to speak to somebody cuz they don't know what domestic violence is
at such a young age nineteen-years-old
that's the age I lost my daughter and
they don't know that verbal abuse
emotional abuse it's just not physical anymore and they need someone to be
there to help them
and guide them it's already hard enough to have a relationship
at nineteen but then to grasp the whole domestic violence
along with what goes on with the emotions growing so young
it was just a couple months ago when she tragically passed away on July 4th
on a holiday that's supped to mean freedom
and Liberty is it kind of tainted now does it have like a
bad memories now because your lost your daughter on that day
it was a shock to get the call that afternoon
I don't live here in Springfield anymore but
it was a long hour drive to get to her and
I can't look at it as a bad day because we did get to enjoy her for nineteen years
unfortunately she has now
gone on that day but we gotta celebrate her life
we can't let his actions stop us from enjoying life
and living for her and what is what is your plan how are you going to do that
it's gotta be tough at times to
not let that hold you back and like you said enjoy her life that she loved
what are some things that you guys are doing to make sure that you
cherish and remember her memory what we're doing as a family unit
we're gonna have a memorial walk for her every year in August
and we're just trying to talk to people I'm trying to learn myself
and reach out for help cuz I'd love to start some type outreach program for
young
teenage girls because we unfortunately a society believe that
domestic violence only happens with older women
it happens with young girls like within their teens and we need someone to be
there for them talk about your daughter you mention you don't want to be a statistic
not another number not just Springfield's
homicide victim that happen this weekend she was a person
so talk about her as a person what was she like what did she like to do what she
did she like to eat
where did she like to go tyshianna is she was very vibrant
very opinionated I loved her for that we had our moments but she was
a great kid she really was she enjoyed Facebook
talking on her cell phone shee best friends that she loved talking to until she
loved her sister's
her older sister tynisha was her best friend
we're gonna live for her
we're gonna keep her name alive whatever
outlet I can talk about her and say her name
that's why I'm gonna be and talk about
her color her favorite colors purple
her favorite color is purple and you are letting that shine you're like I'm never
gonna let anyone else forget it no
She loved purple it's funny cuz until she passed
I never really pay too much attention to it but
once she passed that part of my life now
purples part of my life if i can find something's that purple
I'm gonna get it for her i feel
as a parent sometimes that we let things pass by us
and not pay attention cuz we always think that we're gonna have tomorrow
to fix what was wrong and unfortunately
I didn't have that opportunity so now I have to
as her mother speak for her because when
I felt I should have been there I was un able to
and I have my moments when I beat myself up for that
but I'm trying to move past that part
I'm trying if i can help one person I'll be happy with that
most definitely try my best to keep my family
out of harm's way i'm more vigilant on what's going on with my kids
even though I live in Boston I just want
to be able to help other people and
not let my daughter's memory just be something "oh
that's just another girl caught up in a bad area"
cuz that's not the case she loved him she trusted him
she was loyal to him and he used all those three things
against her and now she's no longer here with us
what do you hope will be the outcome what do you feel it be that just penalty
for him to receive in this scenario
natural life I don't want anyone else's daughter mother
sister being a victim to him he was a predator
unfortunately and my daughter paid with her life
natural life is the only thing that i will see just in
the situation cuz I have to visit my daughter in a cemetery now
she's never coming back to me
how how do you feel you'll be able to take her
death and use it to save somebody else's
life how do you want to impact or change somebody else's life by her death
to be honest with the person because
some signs were there and unfortunately were blind to those signs
until we're faced with it face to face
she actually believed deep down in my heart
her last moments she stood up for herself
she said no more and he couldn't handle it
and he took the coward way out of the situation which is unfortunate
but he didn't win because he can never hurt her again
and also another part of why he's not winning is because you guys
are going bat and you're standing here fighting your daughter can't fight but
you're like I'm gonna stand here and fight
for her (that's right) and you're going to keep her memory alive ( most definitely)
talk about have you been able to reach out to any other either
domestic violence victims or families that have gone through the same thing
we have we did the puerto rican weekend
festival the parade this past month last month
and we walked it for domestic violence and I met a lot of
young women and mothers who dealt with the situation like this
that have to raise their grandchildren now
cuz the mom is gone and the dad may be gone also in certain situations
so I have reached out and I'm trying my best if i can
anyone I can touch that can give me a story to let me
lead me in the right way I'd love one day to have outreach program for girls
and I'd love to be able to name it tyshianna's memory
I just need avenues to do that
it must I she just passed away so recently so
there's gotta be still days where
it just doesn't feel like as if she's gone does that ever happened to you
where it's like
a part of you is like I need to tell Tyshianna that and then you kinda stopped
and think
oh she's not here and it like or has it fully sunk in your just
picking up the pieces now it hasn't sunk in cuz
because with me living in Boston the girls my older girls were here
so I would talk to her or if I couldn't get in contact with her i would talk to her
sister Tanisha
and figure out what she's doing what she's up to I don't have that avenue
know more
you know there's been times where she'd call and say mom I'm hungry
and I'm ordering her food from Boston she's like just have it delivered to the house
for me
I miss those some parents are like
i used to argue with her all the time but no I'd love to have an argument with Ana
right now
i would just love for her to hang up on me at least i know she's there
and its just like anemptiness now cuz different when you carry a child
and what they grow up you gotta let them make their own decisions
and that bothers me a lot because I was trying to be that parent like ok
she's gonna make her own decisions with the growing up they'll learn
and she'll bounce back but there's no bouncing back for her
unfortunately if you you mentioned that you were trying to kinda let her go and
make her own decisions which unfortunately led her
to that end where somebody took the cowardly way out and took her life
if you could go back in either say something or do something differently or
be more
forceful would you yes most definitely
I wouldn't do anything I had if i had to just taker her and
tie her up and put her in my car and drive her off I would
most definitely I would do anything to have her back here with us
any thing what message do you
give to other women that may be going through the same
situation that your daughter is going through what advice would you give them
talk to someone anyone
if you can't talk to your parents talk to a friend talk to someone
because unfortunately we don't we don't know the depth of the situation with my
daughter
I don't i'm a parent and their not gonna tell us everything that's why
there has to be an avenue for these young women
to know what exactly pertains to domestic violence cuz like i said it's
different than just physical
they don't know that it's emotional there's verbal
it's everything across the board and they don't know the signs
to see in look for so therefore they need help
most definitely what part of Ana do you feel that
will always be with you for ever and ever her beauty
she was beautiful beautiful girl most definitely a beautiful beautiful girl
she had a a good career probably ahead of her to be a model
and she inspired doing that but
you can't right now it seems as if that's going to be your mission in life
to take the like that she could have had it you can't have any more and make
something
of it yes I am and her sisters are
definitely gonna do that also I have two granddaughters and one looks just like
her
and yes she will live on for a very very long time
I'm not gonna let go of her ever well thank you so much for coming here
and talking to us about ana and
turning her into a person she's not just another number she's a person she's your
daughter and thank you for telling us
thank you for having me