Quick question for you: Am I the only one who wonders why they call pony tails, pony
tails? I know it's like a evocative of like the horse's tail. Give me a little credit.
I always want to assume that their is some kind of deeper meaning to those kinds of things
like pony tails, lipstick, tampons. Maybe sometimes a pony tail is just a pony tail
and a tampon is just a tampon. But speaking of ponies, saddle on up because your comments
and questions are right after the intro.
So before we get to this week's question I first wanted to share some comments on last
week's video of 'Why is Marriage a thing?' Pimpmanfan had this to say. 'My partner and
I don't care to get married which is funny because everyone in both our families expects
me to be pushing for it as the stereotypical woman. The only reason for us to want to get
married would be for the benefits from the government that come with it like taxes, hospital
visits, ect.)' Doesn't that sound fun? Our society is like hey, you know what? You need
to plan a giant wedding. And you're going to pay a lot of money for it and it's going
to be super stressful. But hopefully memorable and the cake should be good. And in exchange
we're going to give you some tax breaks and hospital visits. Stephanie Wilson had a theory
as to why marriage is still such a big deal. She writes, 'Disney, now I think with the
generation I'm in everything is because of Disney.' I wanted to call this comment out
because there is so much commentary over the influence of the Disney Princesses. Girl finding
Prince Charming and getting married and dot, dot, dot. Some people think that for girls
especially it's really romanticizing this idea of a heteronormative marriage where we
should really spend more time teaching girls to pursue their hopes and dreams instead of
a wedding ring. For this week I wanted to go back to an old question that I was asked
and just didn't have time to get around to. From a gentleman named Jose Davis who says,
'Why do chicks lead on? Help a brother out.' First way I'm going to help you out brother
is to maybe encourage you to rethink using chicks, I'm not saying that I find it personally
demeaning, it's just kind of hokey. Harsh truths but they come from a place of love.
What does the internet mean when the internet says 'lead on'? When someone flirts with someone
else and seems interested but it turns out that they had no real intentions with that
person. Both men and women and trans men and women, whatever gender identification box
that you'd like to put yourself in, has the capacity to lead on. Perhaps it seems like
chicks lead on more than dudes lead on because the way that our heteronormative traditional
dating society is set up, the expectation is for the guy to make the approach to the
woman. Leading on absolutely happens for reasons such as they just want some company, they
just want to have a good time, they genuinely like you and they like your company but they're
scared that if they make it known that their feelings for you do not match their feelings
for them you're going to be really mad, leave and complain about being friend-zoned--that
chick was just leading me on the whole time. Another way that I want to help you out brother
is to encourage you to not fall into the trap of self-victimization. One thing that I have
observed a lot lately, especially on the internet is a pattern wherein, guys you don't like
it when women don't want to date you. And I get it. It's frustrating, it's rejection,
it's horrible of course, but it's life. Rather than just kind of taking that more pragmatic
approach to it, there is a lot of outward vitriol being spewed at the women who don't
want to date you. I realize I'm in dicey territory right now but Jose asked and I am answering.
Chicks lead on for the same reason that dudes lead on because ultimately they don't want
to sleep with you and that's always the answer. They just don't want to sleep with you. But
that's why friendships exist and that's why there are a bajillion people on the planet.
And finally Jose this is the kind of advice I feel like I'm giving a lot lately but I
truly believe it. Take a minute, ask yourself and reflect on why you feel led on. If this
is a pattern that is happening chances are that it has nothing to do with witchy women
around you. Maybe hanging on a little too tight. And it's easy to do. I've done it.
I've allowed myself to once be dragged around like what felt like the Kentucky Derby like
race course. There came a point when I realized I was not being led on. I was leading myself
on. But as always I now want to hear from you. What do you think about Jose's question
of 'Why do chicks lead on?' and also is it just me who's a little, who is not a fan of
"chicks"? let me know what you're thinking about what I've talked about today and let
me know what you would like to hear more about. And don't forget to stay terrific.