(dial-up internet connecting)
- (Ian) SHUT UP!!!
- Dude, Becky Johnson just poked me on Facebook.
- Becky from high school?
Why is she poking you?
I thought people stopped doing that ten years ago.
How creepy would it be if someone you hadn't seen in forever
just walked up to you and poked you in real life?
- Yeah, dude, real life would be weird if it was like the internet.
♪ (chipper music) ♪ If The Internet Were Real 2
♪ (chipper music) ♪ Periscope
- And that's how you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Please give me hearts. Please? Please?
- Why the hell are we watching this?
- Because we'll follow any social media trend
to stay ahead of the curve. (approaching footsteps)
- Guys! I just got a notification that some big-tittied lady's making
a peanut butter jelly sandwich in the other room.
- Ooh, I'm hearting! - Heart! Heart! Heart! Heart!
(screeching) Heart! Heart!
♪ (chipper music) ♪ Waze: Outsmarting Traffic Together
- I've gotta get to my job interview in seven minutes or I'll be late.
What's the fastest route?
- Take a right in two blocks and you can be there in ten minutes.
- You've got five cops up on your right
and traffic's about to slow down in two blocks
because someone dropped a dirty couch on the street.
And a car just exploded 100 feet ahead of you.
Take a hard left here and you'll get there in seven minutes.
- But that's the route of the parade!
- Do you wanna be on time or not?
You could always use Apple Maps.
(flies buzz)
♪ (chipper music) ♪ WebMD
(flushing toilet)
(sneezes)
- You have cancer.
♪ (chipper music) ♪ Tumblr
- Pfft. This meme was just stolen from Reddit.
♪ (chipper music) ♪ Reddit
- This was just stolen from 4chan.
♪ (chipper music) ♪ 4chan
- Finally!
The place from whence all memes originate.
According to other internet elitists.
♪ (ominous music) ♪
Why was Rainbow Dash doing that to a Power Ranger?!
(sobbing)
♪ (chipper music) ♪ Pinterest
- Okay, I just need four more perfect dresses
and then we'll be set.
- Don't you think you should get a boyfriend first?
♪ (ominous music) ♪
- (in demonic voice) My Pin Wall is my boyfriend.
♪ (chipper music) ♪ #hashtags
- Why are all these teenagers starting their words
off with the pound sign?
Pound sign confused.
♪ (chipper music) ♪ YouTube
- (owner) Hey. Do something.
♪ (chipper music) ♪ Buffering
(music stops)
♪ (music continues) ♪
♪ (chipper music) ♪ Vine
♪ (chipper music) ♪ Instagram
(silence)
(approaching footsteps)
- Guys! I just found a photo of a PB and J sandwich,
but it's on some girl's big titties.
- (men) Like! Like! LIKE!
- Oh, and there's another photo of a questionably of-age boy
with a decent-looking face and abs and no other discernible talent
with a PB and J sandwich too.
- (both) Like! Like! Like!
- Like? Like! Like! Like! Like!
- Yeah, I guess the internet in real life would suck.
(sensuous moan)
- (Ian) Becky, you poke so good.
- What about me, Becky?
- Yeah, share it.
(Anthony and Ian moan)
- (Ian) Get in there. Get in there.
- Pound sign, this generation is f*cked!
- (Ian) Hey, guys, thanks so much for subscribing.
Click the video on the left to check out bloopers from this video
and this deleted scene.
♪ (chipper music) ♪ Google: Deleted Scene
- The term "bitch" comes from the 12th century word "bicche".
- (Anthony) And click the video on the right to check out
Every Vine Ever.
- Black people be like-- - What?!
Go ahead and finish it, man.
What do Black people be like?
- (Anthony) And, of course, if you're watching this
on any touchscreen device, all the links are in the description below.
[captioned by www.facebook.com/subtitleyoutube]