>>> IF YOUR CHILD HAS ALREADY GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL,
YOU'VE LEARNED THROUGH EXPERIENCE THAT THE NEXT PHASE
IS A WHOLE NEW WORLD.
HELPING PARENTS AND STUDENTS NAVIGATE SOME OF THOSE ISSUES
BEFORE HAND WAS THE FOCUS OF A FORUM HELD IN THE
HAMPDEN-WILBRAHAM REGIONAL SCHOOL DISTRICT.
THE SCHOOL BROUGHT IN A RANGE OF SPEAKERS WHO SPOKE TO PRACTICAL
ISSUES SUCH AS MEDICAL CARE, SUBSTANCE ABUSE, TIME
MANAGEMENT, AND STRESS.
CAROLEE MCGRATH SAT DOWN WITH GINA KAHN, THE DIRECTOR FOR SAFE
SCHOOLS FOR THE REGIONAL SCHOOL DISTRICT, AND JUDI LABRANCHE, A
PROFESSOR AT U. MASS AMHERST, TO LEARN MORE.
>> IT WAS A JOINT VENTURE BETWEEN OUR HAMPDEN WILBRAHAM
PARTNERS FOR YOUTH COALITION AND THE MINICHAUG STAFF, TO MINIMIZE
THE TRANSITION.
MANY OF US KNOW FROM FIRSTHAND EXPERIENCE THAT AFTER GRADUATION
THINGS CHANGE VERY FAST.
>> OH MY GORKS IF MY SON JUST GRADUATED WHAT DOES THAT MEAN,
THAT THINGS CHANGE SO FAST?
I CAN'T CONTINUE TO HOVER OVER HIM, THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN AT
COLLEGE?
>> WELL, YOU CAN TRY.
BUT THE SYSTEMS START TO REALLY LOOK AT OUR STUDENTS AND OUR
CHILDREN AS ADULTS, AND HAVING A GREATER LEVEL OF RESPONSIBILITY.
AND THAT'S A REALLY GOOD THING, IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT.
OTHERWISE THEY WILL NEVER LEAVE OUR BASEMENTS.
BUT IT IS, I THINK, CAN BE A SURPRISE, ESPECIALLY FOR PARENTS
THAT ARE USED TO HAVING THAT DAILY INTERACTION, THAT
INVOLVEMENT ON WHAT'S HAPPENING, WHEN IS IT DUE, HOW ARE YOU
DOING WITH THAT PAPER, CAN I MAKE THE DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT
FOR YOU.
ALL OF THESE THINGS THAT WE DO NOT REALLY HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY
ONCE THEY ARE OUT ON THEIR OWN TO BE AS INVOLVED WITH.
>> SO FOR ME, THIS IS LIKE WHAT?
THIS IS A HUGE TRANSITION BECAUSE I'M JUST COMING DOWN
FROM THE HIGH OF GRADUATION.
BUT YOU'RE UP AT U. MASS, SO YOU SEE THAT NEXT STEP.
HOW COULD YOU COUNSEL SOMEBODY LIKE ME AS MY SON IS LEAVING THE
NEST?
>> MY FIRST BUILT OF ADVICE IS PLEAS DON'T CALL ME BECAUSE I
CAN'T GIVE YOU ANY INFORMATION.
THERE ARE SOME REGULATIONS AROUND WHAT WE CAN PROVIDE AS
FAR AS INFORMATION ABOUT A STUDENT.
>> SO IF YOU GIVE MY KID A DATE --
>> NO, YOU SHOULD TALK TO YOUR KID.
WHAT I TALK TO THE STUDENTS ABOUT IS THAT IN COLLEGE IT'S
DIFFERENT THAN HIGH SCHOOL IS WHERE YOU MIGHT GET NOTIFICATION
THROUGHOUT THE TERM, WHEN THINGS ARE DUE.
I'M GENERALLY GOING TO TELL YOU ON THE FIRST DAY OF CLASS, HEY,
THIS IS DUE.
AND I BELIEVE WHAT I TEACH IS THE MOST IMPORTANT, SO I DON'T
CARE WHAT ELSE YOU HAVE GOING ON.
JOKE.
BUT WHAT HAPPENS IS YOU MIGHT HAVE FIVE TO SEVEN CLASSES, AND
WE ALL FOLLOW THE SAME SCHEDULE, SO WE MAY ALL GIVE YOU EXAMS AND
PAPERS ON THE SAME DAY.
AND YOU CAN'T COME TO US AND SAY, BUT I HAVE THREE OTHER
PAPERS DO TODAY.
WE'LL GO YES, OKAY.
SO I TALK TO THE STUDENTS ABOUT THAT, THAT ONE OF THE THINGS YOU
REALLY NEED TO DO IS ORGANIZE YOUR TIME AND THINK AHEAD.
SO GIVING THE STUDENTS IDEAS ABOUT, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE ATTACHED
TO YOUR PHONE, SCHEDULE EVERYTHING, BUT DON'T SCHEDULE
IT THERE, GIVE YOURSELF A TECHNOLOGY BREAK.
PUT IT IN PAPER, GET YOURSELF A GOOD PLANNER AND THINK ABOUT
STARTING SOME OF THESE THINGS THIS SUMMER.
PLAN WHEN YOU GET UP, WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BED, WHEN ARE
YOU EATING, GOING TO THE GYM, SO THAT YOU CAN PUT ALL THE THINGS
IN YOUR DAY AND SUDDENLY NOT GO, WELL, IT'S 5:00 P.M.
AND I HAVE THREE PAPERS DUE TOMORROW, WHICH
IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY CAN'T TRANSITION FROM US HOVERING OVER
THEM TO BEING ON THEIR OWN.
>> IT IS SO HARD GROWING UP, ISN'T IT?
SOUNDS AWFUL.
BUT WE ALL REMEMBER IT, RIGHT?
I MEAN IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
BUT WHAT ABOUT PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY SAFE, THAT WAS
ANOTHER TOPIC.
THAT CAN COVER A LOT OF GROUND.
>> THINGS LIKE DATING VIOLENCE OR RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE, THINGS
LIKE MAKING SMART DECISIONS RELATIVE TO USE OF ALCOHOL OR
SUBSTANCES, BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT SUDDENLY IN AN ENVIRONMENT WHERE
THINGS MAY APPEAR MORE AVAILABLE, THEY ARE STILL NOT
LEGAL AND PARENTS' EXPECTATIONS STILL NEED TO BE ARTICULATED IN
TERMS OF HOW THEY MIGHT COPE WITH THOSE PARTICULAR DECISION
POINTS, AS THEY GET INTO THE SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT.
THEN OF COURSE THAT MIGHT IMPACT THE FACT THAT IT IS THE DAY
BEFORE THE PAPER IS DUE AND THE PAPER IS NOT DONE.
SO OTHER TOPICS INCLUDED MINDFULNESS, THAT WHOLE
MIND-BODY CONNECTION OF BEING, THE STRESS MANAGEMENT THAT CAN
SOMETIMES LEAD US TO MAYBE LESS CONSTRUCTIVE COPING STYLES, SO
GIVING THEM A LITTLE SAMPLE OF WHAT MAY BE A MORE CONSTRUCTIVE
COPING SKILL MIGHT BE IN TERMS OF MINDFULNESS.
WE TALK ABOUT FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT, BECAUSE THAT CAN
BECOME A STRESSOR THAT PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE AS THEY HAVE TO
START MAKING DECISIONS ABOUT GETTING PIZZA IN THE MIDDLE OF
THE NIGHT OR FINDING OUT THAT THEIR TEXTBOOK COSTS $250.
>> OR THAT THERE'S NO MONEY IN THE ATM.
I'VE BEEN THERE.
THAT'S A TOUGH ONE.
>> SO AS THE PARENTS AND STUDENTS THAT ATTENDED HAVE THE
OPPORTUNITY TO GET A LITTLE SMATTERING OF THIS AND BEGIN TO
HAVE THOSE CONVERSATIONS, THAT TO ME WAS ONE OF THE HUGEST
BENEFITS WAS JUST KNOWING WHAT THOSE CONVERSATIONS MIGHT BE.
>> I THINK THE OTHER THING TOO IS WHEN YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
TIME MANAGEMENT AND ABOUT HAVING FIVE TESTS OR PAPERS DUE ON ONE
DAY, TO ME THAT JUST SOUNDS AWFUL.
BUT THAT'S LIFE, RIGHT?
BUT SOMETIMES I THINK KIDS NEED TO ALSO BE GUIDED IN TERMS OF
IT'S OKAY TO READJUST, RIGHT?
BECAUSE I THINK A LOT OF TIMES, ESPECIALLY THESE KIDS WHO ARE
JUST TYPE A, TYPE A, AND 3-POINT, NO, 4 POINT WHATEVER
WHEN THEY GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL AND GET TO COLLEGE AND THEY
REALIZE THEY'RE NOT THE SMARTEST PERSON IN THE ROOM.
HOW DO YOU HELP THEM MAKE THAT TRANSITION AND SAY WE MIGHT NEED
TO PIF VOLT HERE, YOU MIGHT HAVE TOO MANY CLASSES THAT ARE HIGH
END OR YOU MIGHT HAVE TOO MANY ACTIVITIES YOU'RE TRYING TO
SQUEEZE IN.
>> EVERY ACADEMIC DEPARTMENT WILL HAVE AN ADVISOR.
SO AS A FACULTY MEMBER IF I HAVE A STUDENT WHO SEEMS TO BE
STRUGGLING, I'M GOING TO BE SEND THEM TO THE ADVISOR BECAUSE THEY
WILL HELP THEM BE ABLE TO JILG, WE CAN DO THIS CLASS AT ANOTHER
TIME, AND THERE'S RESOURCES WITHIN EVERY SCHOOL FOR STUDENTS
TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT.
BUT AGAIN, IF STUDENTS STAY AHEAD OF IT, IF IT'S DUE ON THIS
DAY DOESN'T MEAN YOU START ON THAT DAY, YOU'LL KNOW AT THE
VERY BEGINNING OF THE SEMESTER WHEN YOU CAN DO THINGS.
>> WHAT WAS THE RESPONSE FROM PARENTS?
>> I LOVE WATCHING THE INTERACTION AMONG THE PARENTS
AND STUDENTS THAT ATTENDED, BECAUSE THERE WERE DIFFERENT
THINGS THAT REGULATION NAITED FOR DIFFERENT PARENTS --
THINGS THAT RESONATED FOR DIFFERENT PARENTS AT DIFFERENT
TIMES.
FOR EXAMPLE, THE PEDIATRICIAN TALKING ABOUT MAKING SURE YOU'RE
HAVING A DIALOGUE, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT AUTOMATICALLY
ENTITLED TO THAT MEDICAL INFORMATION, WHAT IS THE
DISCUSSION YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE IN ADVANCE BETWEEN PARENT AND
CHILD AROUND HOW WE'RE GOING TO COMMUNICATE IF YOU DO END UP
GETTING SICK ON CAMPUS.
THE MENTAL HEALTH COMPONENT THAT WAS SO IMPORTANT, AND JUST
KNOWING AS A PARENT WHAT SUDDENLY BECOMES THE POTENTIAL
INTERACTION WHTION YOU TAKE KIND OF A SMALL COMMUNITY AND
SUDDENLY IT'S NOW A LARGE COMMUNITY.
SO DO YOU KNOW, CAN YOU RECOGNIZE THE SIGNS, EITHER IN
YOURSELF OR IN YOUR ROOM NAILT, THAT SAYS SOMEBODY MIGHT NEEDLY
LITTLE HELP HERE AND WHERE IS THAT HELP GOING TO BE AVAILABLE.
SO THOSE MESSAGES OF UNDERSTANDING THE SITUATION AND
UNDERSTANDING WHAT RESOURCES ARE AVAILABLE FOR ASSISTANCE, THAT
WAS PERHAPS FOR ME WATCHING THOSE CONVERSATIONS IT WAS VERY
WELL RECEIVED.
AND WE HOPE TO DO THIS AGAIN ON AN ANNUAL BASIS.
>> IT'S HELPFUL TO HAVE THIS INFORMATION SO AT LEAST AS YOU
SAID YOU CAN MAKE A PLAN, SO WE REALLY APPRECIATE YOU FOR COMING
IN AND SHARING GREAT ADVICE FOR US.
>> THANK YOU.