Gavin: Hello! Welcome to another episode of Million Dollars, But.
I'm Gavin and today I'm joined by my lovely boss, Trevor, and my bossy lover, Chad.
Chad: I didn't know I was bossy
Gavin: You're very bossy, especially in the bedroom.
Chad: I know what I like.
Gavin: I like to be told what to do. Job done.
Gavin: Why don't we play some MD bizzle?
Trevor: Okay.
Chad: See you pay for that?
Gavin: Out of my pocket? No, we just expense it to the company.
Chad: Oh, okay.
Trevor: Yeah, easy.
Chad: So, million dollars, but, which I've been told that is a lot of money.
Gavin: That is correct.
Chad: Every time you see something illegal, no matter how small...
...you have to perform a citizen's arrest.
Trevor: You see somebody crossing the street...
Stop! That's jaywalking, you get in the car. We're going downtown.
Trevor: You cuff her up and you drag her to jail...
and like you're in your bedroom, you draw your blinds, pull up a torrented movie...
Chad: I was just about to say, illegal downloading!
Trevor: And he just comes punching through the window, "what's happening in here?"
Gavin: How did you seem him do that?
Trevor: They've got eyes and ears everywhere.
Chad: And there's something weird laws...
...I found out that in Texas, apparently, it is illegal to own more than six dildos.
Trevor: So like the art department would be screwed.
Chad: When you take them downtown, "Oh, well, you know, I caught it with seven dildos, which is, you know, one too many."
*laugh*
Trevor: And you, I think, I think there are benefits to this power...
...you turn on the TV search for some classic television, it's the news, there's a huge bank heist...
...you gotta go.
Gavin: You could suit up.
Chad: You become a crime fighter.
Trevor: You can have the best kicks.
Chad: A modern day superhero.
Gavin: So now you'd just run past all the armored SWAT team.
Chad: I have permits for all of these.
Trevor: Immediately become a hostage.
Trevor: Picture this, school zone, somebody comes by 26 miles an hour...
...You have to slap your little red light on your roof and go after them. You have a slow low-speed chase...
Pull over!
Chad: Yup, and you do it right in front all the kids they watch you dive out of your car tackle some person to take them to jail.
Chad: I probably wouldn't take it. I set up my own scenario, but I don't think I'm taking the million dollars
Gavin: I'm not taking this. I'm gonna taking the money.
Trevor: I would definitely take it.
Gavin: You would do it?!
Trevor: I'm gonna uphold the law.
Gavin: You are such a square. You know technically, I'm sure *this* whole situation, if you get a million dollars, but...
Trevor: It's kind of a small gamble. Gavin: That's illegal.
Trevor: Oh god. All right guys, well we got to go.
Trevor: Okay guys so a million dollars, but...
...anytime you drink anything a random patch of your body hair...
...just explodes out, just super long.
Gavin: I feel like I'm at an immediate disadvantage.
Chad: Oh my god, the nose hair.
Trevor: You could suffocate if your nose just kind of went *whoosh*
Chad: To breathe through your nose again, you just have to grab on to those things and just like uhn!
...and just rip them out.
Gavin: If you happen to have a terrible accident they put you in a coma you're on an IV, you're getting constant hydration.
Trevor: The hair is just gonna explode out so quickly.
Gavin: And all the doctors are pressed against the window.
Chad: Pretty much it's the scene in Independence Day, when the hair starts knotting and grabs his throat
Trevor (scientist voice): Let me out!
Help us.
Trevor:And then the hair moves in front of them and takes them away.
Chad: There's a couple of upsides to this one because totally forget that this party you showed up at...
...is a Halloween themed party.
Trevor: Just go into the kitchen.
Gavin: There's one of those water dispensers. Just pull the whole thing on. Just drop it and you're Chewbacca.
Someone would walk in.
Gavin: It's one of those, what if everything went right except your pubic area. And you're just Chewbacca with your dick out.
Trevor: Just Chewbacca with a pale, white blur.
Chad: Chew-cock-a
Trevor: Chewcocka
Trevor: Hey guys, would you do this? Personally? Couldn't handle it.
Gavin: I'm used to being extremely hairy already, and I feel like I got it down. I can trim pretty well. I'll take it, I'll take the buts.
Chad: You can control it, you can control it, so I'd, I take the money.
Gavin: Okay, chaps, a million dollars, but whenever you stop moving...
...time also stops.
Trevor: So are you talking like, moving like walking?
Chad: Blinking doesn't count.
Trevor: Like what happens when you go to sleep? Do you actually sleep?
Gavin: You sleep, but time stops.
Chad: Nobody's perfectly still in their sleep, you got *shuffling*
Chad: Well that would be incredibly convenient!
Gavin: Wouldn't it though?!
Trevor: That's terrible. You might as well take the top third of your life off.
Gavin: You would always win in a boxing match.
Chad: Oh my god.
Gavin: Because you technically would never be knocked out.
Trevor: Be careful! They call him the sleeping uppercut.
Why?
Gavin: But you think it'd be like a superpower...
...like if someone shot you, you could just look at your impending death for a long time.
Trevor: You assess the situation.
You try to do some mental maths and figures fly around in your head, and you're like...
I think I can...
Gavin: And you can't do anything.
Chad: But then what happens. You just bleed out and die...
You couldn't go to the hospital because you'd be knocked out.
Trevor: Time is forever just done.
Gavin: Oh my god, so if you don't die at the end of your life...
...and you end up in a coma.
Chad: Uh-huh
Trevor: I mean, you're just like forever dreaming. So, like, but everyone else is just...
...they're, they're just...
...gone.
Gavin: Everyone, that's it.
Gavin: Yeah, I'm not taking it.
Blaine: Hey guys, thanks for watching Million Dollars, But. If you enjoyed this episode you're probably gonna enjoy our game.
We've got the MDB party game as well as the expansion packs available at MDBgame.com
Just click this link, somewhere around here...
...so that you can find out what you your family your friends would all do for a million dollars.
Hey, can you do me a favor? Have a great day.