- Have you ever started talking to a new guy,
and things are going really well?
You like him. He seems to really like you.
Start pushing things forward, and then,
things start to get a little weird.
He texts you every morning, then he texts you at lunch.
Then he texts you at night before going to bed,
and then you get a text at midnight.
He starts opening up his schedule to you.
Anytime that you want to see him, he's available to you.
He even is asking you to book a vacation with him,
and hey, maybe his parents might even be there.
He even starts telling you that you are the one.
(record scratching) Oh, and by the way,
you've only known this guy for nine days.
So it begs the question, what do you do
if a man is just moving a little bit too fast?
Keep watching.
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Hey there, Adam LoDolce from LoveStrategies.com,
where I help successful single women get out there
and attract long-lasting love,
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Now, this is actually a very common problem.
Research shows that men actually fall in love
twice as fast as women do, and one very common theme
that we have in my Love Accelerated Coaching Program
is that when women are using our strategies to attract men,
they tend to meet men who want to move really, really fast.
Now, you might think that as a dating coach,
I am so excited about this, and I tell them,
"Of course, just go for it. Lean in.
Follow your heart," whatever all that gibberish is
that out there, that people tell you to follow
when it comes to dating advice, but we actually
don't do that in our Love Accelerated Coaching Program.
When we go through our Little Love Steps,
we have this Little Love Step called Little Love Step
Number Five, where we pace the progression
of our connections, a.k.a., we slow things down.
Now, the reason why we do this is because the man
or woman who controls the pace, basically
how fast things are moving forward,
is the person who controls the direction
of the relationship, and here's a little secret:
men are usually the ones who are pacing.
They're slowing things down, but if you are able
to actually control the pace and slow things down
with a guy and move slower than he wants to slow,
you are in control of the process.
This is what high-value women do.
They don't just jump in and invest all
of their emotional energy, their time,
their resources into a man that they've just met, no.
They wanna take time to get to know that guy,
see if there's an actual fit, and by the way,
until you are in an exclusive, committed relationship
with that guy, then you are by all means still single.
That means you can continue to get out there
and meet other people.
You can continue to get there and flirt.
You can continue to get out there and go
on dates with other guys.
Now, with that said, this sometimes makes guys go
a little bonkers.
When a woman is pacing things and slowing things down,
it can make guys want to speed things up even faster,
and this is why it's important to know how to pace.
You can use this exact script word for word
when a guy is moving too fast.
"Look, I really like you, and I like where things
are going, but I'm at a point in my life
where I'm looking for something real, and I don't
wanna jump in too quickly, so I think maybe we
should just slow things down a little bit."
Now, the power of this script is that you
are reinforcing that you like him, but at the same time,
you are telling him to slow things down,
and when you do this and you're dating a man
with a healthy, secure attachment style, chances are,
he's gonna be totally on board with that.
On the other hand, if you're dating a guy
with an anxious attachment style, you're gonna find that out
very, very quickly, and it's gonna be useful to know
whether or not he can handle this, so there's obviously
a lot more that goes into pacing, and if this
is something that you're interested in exploring more
and understanding these Little Love Steps, of course,
this is Little Love Step Number Five out of seven of them,
go ahead and head on over to LittleLoveSteps.com,
or we have a link in the description in our bio, where you
can learn the entire Little Love Steps process for free.
We have a free training there, and if you do enjoy
that video and you wanna be a part of Love Accelerator,
and these are the types of things we talk about,
then you can go ahead and apply to speak
to one of the love strategists on my team.
Thank you so much for watching, and I cannot wait
to send you more information just like this next week.
All right, bye-bye.