MY NEXT GUEST HAD A POLITICAL SATIRE SHOW IN EGYPT WITH 30
MILLION VIEWERS, UNTIL THE GOVERNMENT DECIDED HE SHOULDN'T
ANYMORE.
PLEASE WELCOME, BASSEM YOUSSEF!
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH!
>> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> THAT'S AMAZING.
WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY?
AND THEY'RE VERY NICE.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> Stephen: THEY'RE VERY FRIENDLY PEOPLE.
>> I KNOW.
>> Stephen: I FIRST MET YOU THROUGH OUR MUTUAL FRIEND JON
STEWART.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: PEOPLE HAVE SORT OF CALLED YOU THE JON STEWART OF
EGYPT.
YOU'RE NOT IN EGYPT ANYMORE.
YOU'RE HERE.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: DID YOU COME HERE TO ALSO OPEN AN ANIMAL RESCUE
FARM LIKE JON DID.
>> THAT WAS THE PLAN UNTIL I SAW YOUR ELECTIONS AND I SAID, "I'M
BACK IN BUSINESS, BABY, YES!" IS THERE YOU LIVED UNDERAB
ACTUAL DICTATOR.
WHEN YOU SEE AMERICANS COMPLAINING ABOUT THE OBAMA
ADMINISTRATION BEING A DICTATORSHIP, DO WE SOUND LIKE
BABIES TO YOU?
>> YES.
IT'S LIKE, I MEAN, WE HAVE DICTATORS WHO STAY IN POWER FOR
30 OR 40 YEARS, AND WE CALL THEM BY THE WAY FIRST TERM.
AND THEN-- BUT IT'S PREDICTABLE, BECAUSE YOU JUST HAVE ONE
ELECTION-- ELECTIONS-- AND HE'S THERE FOREVER.
>> Stephen: IT'S VERY COST EFFICIENT.
>> YEAH, YOU DO IT EVERY FOUR YEAR.
THIS YEAR, LIKE $7 BILLION AND YOU'RE ENDING UP WITH DONALD
TRUMP.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T KNOW.
IT COULD BE.
IS THERE ANYTHING FAMILIAR ABOUT DONALD TRUMP TO YOU?
>> OTHER THAN BEING ORANGE?
>> Stephen: YES.
>> WELL, WELL, YES, HE GOT-- I THINK HE REMINDS PEOPLE LIKE ME
WHO COME HERE AND STAY IN AMERICA, THEY'RE HOMESICK FOR
DICTATORSHIP AND HE PROVIDES THAT.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS IT, THAT HE'S SO SURE OF HIMSELF?
>> OTHER THAN BEING A JERK, YES.
WELL, THE THING IS, IT'S THE SAME ECHO CAME BER EVERYWHERE.
IT'S LIKE "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN."
"EGYPT IS THE THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD."
IT'S THE SAME RHETORIC.
I WAS THERE AT ONE OF HIS RALLIES.
>> Stephen: A TRUMP RALLY.
>> YES, SOMEWHERE IN GEORGIA.
AND EVERYTHING HE SAID, PEOPLE CHEERED HIM.
"WE'RE GOING TO REPEAL OBAMACARE."
YEAH!
AND WE'RE GOING TO KILL ISIS, YES.
AND THE BIGGEST CHEER CAME FROM THE NEXT STATEMENT, "WE'RE GOING
TO BRING BACK CHRISTMAS!" WHERE DID IT GO?
( LAUGHTER ) IS IT THANKSGIVING NOW?
AND IT GETS WORSE NOW AS I'M COVERING --
>> IS THERE AN ISLAMIC VERSION OF, LIKE, YOU KNOW, WE'RE NOT
PAYING ENOUGH ATTENTION TO OUR RELIGIOUS HOLIDAYS?
>> OH, YEAH.
IT'S ALSO LIKE YOU'RE NOT ARAB ENOUGH, YOU'RE NOT EGYPTIAN
ENOUGH.
YOU'RE AN INFIDEL.
IT'S THE SAME THING.
HERE IT'S YOU'RE NOT AMERICAN ENOUGH, NOT PATRIOTIC ENOUGH.
IT'S THE SAME ECHO CHAMBER.
AT THE AT THE R.N.C., AND I WAS INTERVIEWING PEOPLE AND THEY
HAVE A HIDDEN RACISM.
THEY SAY, NO, WE DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MUSLIMS, BUT IF YOU
HAVE A BOWL OF MAN "M"s AND THREE WERE POISONOUS, YOU BE
CAREFUL.
NOW I'M A POISONOUS M&M.
>> Stephen: YOU MIGHT BE ONE OF THE DELICIOUS ONES.
THEY DON'T KNOW.
>> THEY CAN TRY AND LICK ME AND SEE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: BUT IF THEY DO THAT, IF THEY DO THAT, THEY'RE
NOT ALLOWED TO USE THE BATHROOM IN NORTH CAROLINA.
SO IT'S PUSH OR PULL.
WHAT ABOUT HILLARY CLINTON?
IS THERE ANYTHING FAMILIAR FROM SOMEONE WHO COMES FROM A
ONE-PARTY SYSTEM OF A FAMILY PASSING POWER BACK AND PORGT.
DOES THAT SEEM FAMILIAR TO YOU?
>> VERY.
BUT IT'S DIFFERENT.
HERE YOU'RE RUNNING FROM HUSBAND TO WIFE, KIND OF LIKE A GUY FROM
A SON TO HIS GRANDSON TO HIS COUSIN TO-- IT'S A FAMILY
BUSINESS.
IT'S THE SAME THING.
>> Stephen: CHELSEA'S COMING ALONG.
CHELSEA'S COMING ALONG.
SHE'LL BE THERE IN A LITTLE WHILE.
>> SOME PLACES IN THE MIDDLE EAST WE DON'T ALLOW THEM TO
DRIVE.
YOU GUYS WENT A LONG WAY SO THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: YOUR SHOW IS CALLED?
>> "DEMOCRACY HANDBOOK."
>> Stephen: "DEMOCRACY HANDBOOK.
ON fusion.net.
IS THIS ANOTHER VERSION OF A POLITICAL SATIRE SHOW?
>> I'M TELLING YOU GUYS-- YOU GUYS HAVE STILL A VERY HEALTHY
BODY OF A DEMOCRACY.
>> Stephen: IT'S FUNNY YOU SHOULD SAY THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE A
DOCTOR, RIGHT?
>> AS A DOCTOR, MY DIAGNOSIS FOR YOU IS YOU GUYS HAVE A VERY
HEALTHY BODY OF DEMOCRACY EXCEPT A VERY LARGE ORANGE MOLE ON ITS
ASS.
( CHEERS ).
>> Stephen: WELL, THIS IS CBS, SO THAT'S WHERE I HAVE TO CUT
YOU OFF.
BASSEM YOUSSEF, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
GOOD LUCK WITH THE SHOW.
"DEMOCRACY HANDBOOK" IS NOW ON fusion.net.
BASSEM YOUSSEF, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.