James: GOOD EVENING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO "THE LATE
LATE SHOW."
FANCY SEEING YOU HERE.
SHOULD WE MEET OUR GUESTS ON THE SHOW, WE DON'T HAVE TO,
COMPLETELY UP TO YOU.
>> LET'S SWITCH IT UP.
>> James: THAT IS WHAT WE ALWAYS DO.
>> I DON'T WATCH OUR SHOW.
I'VE SEEP IT FROM YOUTUBE, OF COURSE, BUT LIKE I'VE NEVER ONCE
BEEN UP AT 12:37 AND WATCHED IT.
>> James: BECAUSE WHO IS.
>> WHO IS UP, I.
>> James: I GUESS THAT IS THE CRUX OF IT, WHO ARE YOU!
WHO ARE YOU?
BUT WE'RE THRILLED THAT YOU ARE HERE.
ABSOLUTELY LOVELY.
BECAUSE IF YOU ARE NOT HERE THIS REALLY IS A WASTE OF TIME.
LET'S MEET OUR GUESTS ON THE SHOW TONIGHT.
HE'S AN EMMY-NOMINATED ACTOR WE LOVE FROM "30 ROCK," "WRECK IT
RALPH," AND "FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL," THE ALWAYS LOVELY AND
CHARMING, JACK MCBRAYER.
IS HERE TONIGHT.
>> YES.
>> James: THERE HE IS.
HOW ARE YOU, JACK?
>> I'M GREAT, THANKS.
>> James: HOW NICE TO SEE YOU.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
ARE YOU WELL?
>> I'M REALLY GOOD, THANK YOU, IT'S BEEN A LOVELY YEAR.
(LAUGHTER).
>> James: I MEAN WHEN YOU HEAR IT OUT LOUD, WHEN SOMEONE SAYS
IT'S BEEN A LOVELY YEAR AND IT GARNERS THAT LEVEL OF LAUGHTER
IT MAKES YOU REALIZE HOW UTTERLY [BLEEP] THE WHOLE THING, ISN'T
IT.
BUT LOOK AT YOU, A REAL GLASS HALF FULL GUY.
>> James: JACK MCBRAYER, EVERYBODY.
SHE'S A TALENTED ACTRESS YOU KNOW FROM THE "X-MEN" MOVIES,
"LOVE SIMON," AND "AALIYAH: THE PRINCESS OF R&B," THE DAZZLING,
THE MAGICAL, ALEXANDRA SHIPP.
IS HERE ON THE SHOW TONIGHT.
ALEXANDRA, HOW ARE YOU?
>> HEY, I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
>> James: I'M VERY, VERY WELL, HOW ARE YOU DOING SPH.
>> I'M FEELING GOOD, I'M FEELING GOOD.
>> James: WE'RE VERY HAPPY YOU ARE HERE.
>> I'M ENJOYING ALL THE FRUIT SNACKS, MI GOING TO TAKE THEM
HOME IN MY BAG, IT WILL BE GOOD.
>> James: TAKE THEM ALL.
THAT IS THE TRUTH OF IT.
>> OKAY.
>> James: IT WOULD CERTAINLY HELP ME DURING THE DAY IF THERE
WAS NOTHING IN THERE, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
>> YOU GOT IT.
>> James: ALEXANDRASHIP.
AND THAT'S NOT ALL.
LATER, WE HAVE MUSIC FROM ANGELS & AIRWAVES, SO STICK
AROUND FOR THAT.
I LOVE JACK McBRAYER, A DELIGHT, WHAT WOULD YOUR LIFE BE
LIKE IF YOU WOKE UP EVERY MORNING WITH JACK McBRAYER.
IT WOULD CERTAINLY LIFT UP AROUND HERE.
>> I FEEL LIKE MY LIFE WOULD A LOT BETTER IF I WAS IN AS GOOD A
MOOD AS JACK McBRAYER.
>> James: I AGREE.
YOU KNOW WHAT PUT AMERICA IN A GOOD MOOD.
>> WHAT IS THAT, JAMES.
>> James: IF WE DELIVER THE NEWS.
REMEMBER THE VACCINE MANDATE PRESIDENT BIDEN ANNOUNCED BACK
IN SEPTEMBER?
REQUIRING LARGE EMPLOYERS TO FIRE UNVACCINATED WORKERS?
WELL TODAY, THE LABOR DEPARTMENT ANNOUNCED THAT THE MANDATE WILL
GO INTO EFFECT TUESDAY, JANUARY FOURTH.
BECAUSE, I GUESS JANUARY FIRST WAS JUST WAY TOO OBVIOUS.
WHAT'S THE THINKING HERE?
NOBODY EXPECTS THIS POLICY TO START ON A RANDOM TUESDAY, SO
LET'S DO THAT.
BUSINESSES HAVE TO MAKE SURE THEIR EMPLOYEES ARE FULLY
VACCINATED.
THIS COULD BE DEVASTATING IN SOME PLACES.
YOU KNOW THAT GUY YOU WORK WITH WHO'S ALWAYS LIKE ACTUALLY,
THAT'S NOT WHAT I READ.
YEAH, THAT GUY'S NOT GONNA WORK WITH YOU ANYMORE.
AND HERE'S SOME POSITIVE NEWS.
BRITAIN HAS JUST APPROVED THE FIRST ORAL PILL FOR TREATING
COVID -- MAKING IT MUCH EASIER TO TREAT PATIENTS OUTSIDE OF A
HOSPITAL.
THE DRUG IS CALLED MOLNUPIRAVIR.
JUST ROLLS OFF THE TONGUE.
ACTUALLY ROLLS ONTO THE TONGUE, AND THEN BEATS COVID.
THAT'S GREAT FOR BRITAIN.
BUT HERE IN CALIFORNIA, WE DON'T NEED ANY DRUGS TO TREAT COVID.
HERE THE APPROACH IS (VALLEY GIRL ACCENT)
MY FRIEND HARMONY HAS THIS SOUND BATH IN THE DESERT AND IT'S
LIKE, TOTALLY HEALING.
IN OTHER NEWS, JUMP IN, THIS GIVE US SOME KIND OF, BECAUSE IT
WAS THE WORLD CHEESE AWARDS WERE HELD LAST NIGHT, AND
ING WHERE'S MY CHEESE HEADS AT.
AND THE 2021 WORLD'S BEST CHEESE WAS
ANNOUNCED.
IT'S A SOFT GOAT'S CHEESE FROM SPAIN CALLED OLAVIDIA.
THIS IS A TOUGH WAY TO FIND OUT THAT I WASN'T INVITED TO HOST
THE WORLD CHEESE AWARDS.
THE WINNER WAS A SOFT GOAT'S CHEESE FROM SPAIN.
HUGE CONGRATULATIONS TO THE GOAT THAT MADE IT, WHO HAS NO IDEA,
AND WHOSE LIFE WILL CHANGE IN NO WAY WHATSOEVER.
BECAUSE HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT ANY OF THIS IS.
THIS IS TRUE, ONE JUDGE DESCRIBED THE CHEESE AS HAVING
A, "RICH, SEDUCTIVE, CREAMY TEXTURE."
AND IF YOU THINK IT'S WEIRD TO CALL A CHEESE SEDUCTIVE, THEN
WE'VE LED VERY DIFFERENT LIVES.
IAN, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SEDUCED BY A CHEESE?
>> BROTHER, COME ON.
YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN SEDUCED BY A CHEESE.
YZ WHAT IS YOUR TOP, IF IT IS YOU AND A CHEESE.
>> OH MY GOD, IF IT IS JUST ME AND JUST ONE CHEESE, I THINK I
GOT TO GO LIKE A BRIE.
BUT, LIKE A NICE CREAMY BRIE BUT IF I'M PUTTING TOGETHER A SQUAB.
>> James: HMMMM.
>> I'M GOING TO HAVE A BRIE, IT IS GOING TO BE AN EXTRA SHARP
CHEDAR CHEESE.
>> James: STOP.
>> GOING TO BE A LITTLE BIT OF CHEVRA.
>> WITH A TOOTHPICK CHEESE BLOCK.
>> James: LET YOU DOWN THERE, REG, DID IT, HERE IS THE THING,
I'M NOT A CHEESE GUY.
>> YOU'RE NOT A CHEESE GUY.
>> >> James: I KNOW, I LOOK LIKE
A CHEESE GUY.
I ACT LIKE A CHEESE GUY, IT'S NOT FOR ME.
I AM A MELTED CHEESE GUY.
I LIKE A MELTED CHEESE.
I LIKE A SOFT CHEESE, BUT I'M NEVER LIKE OH, PLAYING IT WRONG
FOR THE MONO, I ACTUALLY JUST LIKE PEOPLE-- .
>> THANK YOU.
>> James: YOU KNOW PEOPLE ARE LIKE OH MY GOD, THIS IS
ABSOLUTELY-- THIS IS AMAZING.
AND THAT WAS AN IMPRESSION OF LOUIS ON A CHRISTMAS MORNING, DO
YOU EAT CHEESE-- .
>> SURE.
>> James: IS HE LIKE OH A ROUND OF STINKING.
>> THE SMELLIER, THE BETTER, I WOULD SPROUT LEGS AND WALK INTO
MY MOUTH.
>> James: >> James: MOVING ON, DID
EVERYBODY HEAR ABOUT THIS?
FOR JUST TWO NIGHTS THIS MONTH, AIRBNB WILL RENT OUT A REPLICA
OF CARRIE BRADSHAW'S "SEX AND THE CITY" APARTMENT IN NEW YORK.
YEAH, SIT AROUND THAT APARTMENT ALL YOU WANT, AIDAN ISN'T COMING
BACK.
YOU CAN RENT OUT CARRIE'S APARTMENT.
I SAY YOU, BECAUSE LEGALLY, I CAN'T STAY THERE BECAUSE I'M
CLEARLY A MIRANDA.
>> James: AND THIS WAS AN INTERESTING NEW SURVEY.
55% OF AMERICANS SAY THEY WOULD HOOK UP WITH SOMEONE, WHO LOOKS
LIKE THEIR FAVORITE CELEBRITY.
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT, PEOPLE WOULD HOOK UP WITH A HOT PERSON
WHO LOOKS LIKE A HOT PERSON?
WOW, FASCINATING SURVEY.
THE MAJORITY OF AMERICANS WOULD HOOK UP WITH SOMEONE WHO LOOKS
LIKE THEIR FAVORITE CELEBRITY.
ALTHOUGH I DO HAVE SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU, MOST OF YOUR FAVORITE
CELEBRITIES JUST WANT TO HOOK UP WITH PETE DAVIDSON.
>> James: AND WE WANTED TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS.
AN ENTERPRISING TEACHER IN TAIWAN HAS FOUND A RATHER
INGENIOUS WAY TO ATTRACT NEW STUDENTS FOR HIS ONLINE MATH
LESSONS, BY POSTING ALL OF HIS LECTURES ON PORNHUB.
IT'S TRUE.
HE SAID HIS ATTEMPT TO TEACH ON YOUTUBE FIZZLED BECAUSE IT WAS
DIFFICULT TO STAND OUT FROM HIS COMPETITORS.
IMAGINE BROWNING PORNHUB, OKAY, SEX EAST MATT TEACHER, LET'S SEE
WHAT YOU HAVE GOT AND THEN JUST WATCHING AN ENTIRE
TRIGONOMETRY LESSON?
HE'S GOT ALL HIS LESSONS UP ON PORNHUB.
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS CALLED?
MATH-STURBATION.
AND FINALLY, A HAIRDRESSER FROM SOMERSET, ENGLAND HAS MADE AN
UNUSUAL PANDEMIC THANK YOU FOR PRIME MINISTER BORIS JOHNSON.
IT'S A MURAL OF JOHNSON, MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF, WE'RE NOT
MAKING THIS UP, HAIR SWEPT UP AFTER PANDEMIC HAIRCUTS.
HERE IT IS HERE, HER ARTISTIC STYLE CAN BEST BE
DESCRIBED AS POST-IMPRESSIONISM SERIAL KILLER.
I MEAN, JUST IMAGINE GETTING A HAIRCUT AND WATCHING YOUR BARBER
STUFF YOUR HAIR CLIPPINGS INTO THEIR POCKET LIKE, OH, THIS
ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK IT IS, I'M MAKING A MURAL OF THE PRIME
MINISTER.
CAN WE SEE THAT AGAIN?
THE CRAZIEST PART ABOUT BORIS JOHNSON'S APPEARANCE IN THIS
IT'S MORE FLATTERING THAN HIS >> James: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK