Hello!
Seiiti Arata.
Have you ever wondered whether you would be happier if your physical appearance was better,
if you had one million in your bank account or if you finally got the job of your dreams?
I remember a person that I know since childhood and that was always upset, rarely smiled,
complained that life wasn’t good because he wasn’t dating.
And then when he started dating, complained that he didn’t have a job.
After he started working, complained that he didn’t have children yet.
You can probably imagine that now that he has children, certainly this person is now
complaining about something different, right?
Do you know someone like this in your life?
It is very common for us to condition our happiness on external factors like these.
“Oh, if I only had a little less fat on my belly and more muscles, I would be happier.
If I had a mansion, a yacht and several luxurious cars, I would be happier.
If I opened my own company, then I would actually be happy…”
This is a very common way of thinking that scientists and psychologists started to study
why we think that way.
And the conclusion of almost all of the studies is that this way of thinking is just an illusion.
The Focusing Illusion.
Focusing Illusion is believing that some things are more important just because we think of
them as more important.
The term Focusing Illusion was created by the psychologist Daniel Kahneman [source:
https://arata.se/sfoj ]. By studying why we condition our own happiness on external events,
he realized that these external events that we think are important, in reality, are only
important because we are focusing on them.
When you fall into the Focusing Illusion, you end up creating your own reason for feeling
unhappy.
For example, imagine a person called Chris that is overweight and wants to desperately
lose weight, gain muscle mass and improve their own appearance.
This person is so focused on this objective that sincerely believes that happiness can
only happen if the diet and exercises lead to burning that unwanted bodyfat.
The illusion is that being in shape is going to mean a happier life in the long term.
By focusing entirely on the physical form, Chris ends up considering that other aspects
of life are bad due to being out of shape.
A lot of times, a problem has nothing to do with another.
The false belief is that being in shape would lead to fixing other problems in life, such
as acquiring more clients, having a better marriage or more focus to read books and advance
in the career.
The Focusing Illusion seems true because we can’t see the long term.
The concept of Focusing Illusion can seem a bit absurd if you’re stubborn chasing
an objective.
Of course being prettier, richer or more successful will certainly make you happier, right?
Wrong.
The association that we make between happiness and external events is almost always an apparent
truth, a half truth.
The logic of “if I have this, then I will be happier” only seems true precisely because
we are deluded by our focus from this achievement.
Buying a new piece of clothing, starting a relationship or eating chocolate cake increases
our instant satisfaction.
For sure you get much happier in the moment when you do any of these things and even moments
after.
But the truth is that this happiness doesn’t hold up in the long run.
The problem is that, by increasing our perception of happiness in the moment, the achievement
by the external objectives confuses our ability to measure accurately our level of satisfaction
with life.
When we are focused in achieving something new, automatically we aren’t focused in
realizing everything else that we already have.
Our focus is on what we don’t have, not on what we accomplished.
And that’s how we have the illusion that, if we conquer what is missing, our life would
be better.
The achievement of external objectives doesn’t guarantee happiness.
And you’re not an exception to the rule.
You’re probably thinking that the Focusing Illusion makes sense, but doesn’t apply
in your specific case.
For example, there is a lot of data showing that the divorce rates in the world are getting
higher and higher.
But everyone is still getting married believing that this data doesn’t apply to them, that
with them it’s going to be different, that this marriage will in fact last.
Believing that you are an exception to this rule is a common thought and is part of the
Focusing Illusion itself.
For some reason, you still consider that you would really be happier if you had millions
in your bank account, if you had less kilos of fat or more muscle mass, if you were the
boss of your own business.
Of course that in the moment that you conquer any of these things, your happiness increases.
But after awhile, a phenomenon called hedonic adaptation occurs.
The hedonic adaptation shows us that we adapt to practically any situation and our level
of happiness goes back to what it used to be.
A research [source: https://arata.se/source-r3wf] showed us that even events in life like marriage,
birth of a child or the loss of a loved one doesn’t affect overall happiness in the
long run.
After the novelty is over, the levels of happiness of the participants from the research went
back to what it used to be.
So, you’re not an exception to this rule.
Don’t think that only after conquering this or that objective that your life will start
happening.
Instead of that, learn to identify and fight the Focusing Illusion.
The best way to break free from the Focusing Illusion is to be clear when you’re deluding
yourself.
The Focusing Illusion is very hard to break because the majority of times we don’t realize
that we are the ones deluding ourselves.
Our brain is very good at playing tricks on us, in making us think that something is really
important and that our happiness depends on it.
Our brain has two ways of thinking: the fast mode and the slow mode.
The fast mode is automatic, unconscious and driven by emotions and associations.
Most of the time, we use the fast mode to make decisions and evaluate our life, but
to break the Focusing Illusion it’s necessary that you use the slow mode.
When you believe in the illusion that getting in shape, gaining money or buying a car will
make you happier, you’re using the fast mode of thinking.
You’re using emotions and associations to consider that something is really important.
But in reality this something is only important because you're focusing on it.
We, human beings, like to think that we’re rational creatures, analytical, intelligent.
But the truth is that ninety percent of our brain operates in auto pilot, saving energy,
making decisions mainly based on emotions than rationality.
So the best way to break the Focusing Illusion is interrupting this fast mode of thinking
to be clear that you’re deluding yourself.
This is done by activating the slow mode of thinking.
The slow mode, sequential, based on rules and that uses conscious calculations to make
decisions.
Whenever you find yourself very attached to conquering an objective, or when you realize
that you’re putting your happiness in dependence on an external event, pause to reflect.
Try to let go of emotions to activate the slow mode of thinking.
With a more rational mind, try to understand why you want what you’re looking for.
Try to understand the reasons behind your acts.
Try to comprehend why you think conquering this or that will affect your happiness in
the long run.
Or just be aware that all the effort you will make will only generate momentary satisfaction,
which will soon pass.
With mindfulness, using rationality, you will be able to see beyond the surface and realize
that the importance of anything is just the importance that you give to that thing yourself.
The Focusing Illusion can get in the way of your pursuit of happiness.
Even if you conquer your objectives that you believe are important, soon your brain will
adapt itself to the new situation and return to the levels of happiness you had before.
These standard levels of happiness are determined in part by genetics and in part by your actions
and way of thinking.
So, there are some techniques that you can adopt to elevate your standard levels of happiness.
In the project Happiness, from Arata Academy, you can learn the best proven techniques by
positive psychology to elevate your level of happiness.
You can get to know the project Happiness right now by accessing http://arata.se/happiness