How did all of that go into your obsession or your interest in stars, and what are the starseed?
So, it's funny because you know I kept, I just kept diving deeper and deeper and deeper into the New Age practices.
And it's like it still wasn't filling the void, so I just kept searching for more of it.
You know what's going to be the next thing? Like what's going to finally be the thing that "works" long term.
And so I was up one night really late and I was just Googling, why do I feel like this? Why do I feel so alone?
Why do I feel out of place? Why am I so depressed? And all this stuff started coming up about
the reason you don't feel at home is because this isn't your home.
You are literally from a different planet. You have come here on a divine soul mission to help ascend the collective, and to help
essentially save the planet. It's literally like a counterfeit gospel.
It basically puts you in the shoes of Christ as having the savior complex. Oh, I came here with a purpose.
I came here to actually save the planet, so that's why I feel so lonely.
It just, and I remember when I was reading this stuff, it was resonating so deeply because
it was like it was the first time I felt like I actually had a purpose. I actually had a meaning,
and I could finally justify my suffering in some form and say, “Oh, I actually chose
this,” because that's the whole narrative with the starseed thing, is that your soul
chose your parents, your soul chose your body, your soul chose your relationships and your
struggles and the things that you would go through in order to. It basically, it's like a karma thing.
To fulfill your karma, to work through your karma, because
when you work through your own karma it just manifests within the planet herself.
Quote unquote "herself" is what I used to believe. And helps ascend her vibration by ascending your vibration.
And so it's just, I mean it's all counterfeit. Counterfeit gospel. 2 Corinthians 11:14 but that's what, that's what it was for me.
This starseed belief, what did this belief guide you into? What did that start to bring you into?
So that, that just got my eyes set on things above ironically. But it wasn't the right things.
It was me believing, oh, okay so I actually come from the stars, and so I was trying to connect with aliens.
I was channeling aliens. I was astral projecting and having these encounters
with "light beings" which again, 2 Corinthians 11:14. Satan masquerades as an angel of light.
And that just was again a sliding board right into astrology, because it was me wanting to understand the constellations, me wanting
to understand the planets, and the moon and the sun. And when I got into astrology, I was like,
“Oh, this is my thing,” because it's so narcissistic.
Everything about astrology is just entirely self-centered, because it's all about your
birth chart, and how these planets affect you.
And how you can use the new moon to set intentions, and use the full moon to release things
that I could no longer serve. And work with all the seasons of the zodiac in relation to the themes that they perpetuate,
and how that can really benefit your own life, and how you can manifest all the things you want. It is just entirely spiritual narcissism.
I was obsessed with it because I guess I was obsessed with myself. I mean, anyone that thinks they came here
to save the planet, safe to say is obsessed with themselves. Which is funny because I also hated myself.
Wow.
Yeah.
I learned that in New Age you know, self-love and self-hate, it's no different.
It's all the same source.
It's all self, and the Gospel says nothing
about self-love, and self-help and things like that.
And that's not to say that, I'm not saying don't take care of yourself, but the Gospel
actually calls us to self-sacrifice and that's where real fulfillment comes.
But Satan will do everything he can to get your eyes on the mirror, rather than your
sights set on Jesus, and that's exactly what all these practices do.
It just makes you completely self-obsessed.
Whether you're hating yourself or loving yourself, or somewhere in the middle.
It doesn't matter, as long as you are worshiping yourself.
That's the devil's goal.
Preach it right there.
So you go into astrology.
Now did it fix, did it fill the void you were seeking to fix?
I've watched one of the interviews where you actually mentioned that at the peak of all
of that revelation about the stars and everything, you actually almost took your own life.
Yeah, so I felt like I had developed like
I said some sense of purpose with the starseed gospel.
And that coincided with astrology because the whole mindset was, okay,
your birth chart is your quote-unquote "blueprint."
And so with this mindset, it was well, I'm a starseed.
I came here on purpose so I actually chose my birth chart.
So that being said, I chose all the things that were quote unquote wrong with me.
It's not that I was a sinner, see, it was just
that I had chose all the things wrong with
me to work through them, and so I wanted to help people.
I did have good intentions, and for the record a lot of New Agers do have good intentions.
It's not that they're evil.
So I had these great intentions that I was going to help other people with their birth
chart and astrology, and so I actually did start a podcast before called “Moon And Back."
Where I would do new moon and full moon reports every two weeks.
And I would talk about, for instance if it was like the new moon in Aries, that meant
that it was like an initiation and it was the start of something new.
So you're really, you should really tap into that fire because Aries is a fire sign.
So you should tap into your fire, your inner fire and really go, go, go, go for it.
Whereas if it was something like a full moon in Cancer, that was a water sign so that was
all about cleansing and emotional relief. So I would talk about the things that we need
to let go of, the things that we need to wash away.
And all these, all these just, I mean just bogus things really at the end of the day.
So to answer your question, long story short, no it didn't work.
It would work until it didn't.
But the thing with astrology and with everything
in the New Age, is that there's always a reason why it's not working.
It's like, oh okay, well let me just see what's happening.
Oh Mercury's in retrograde, that's why I feel like I'm going backwards.
Great, I have an answer now.
It was always some sort of justification for
the suffering, that just perpetuated the suffering,
made excuses for the suffering.
Never actually had any solutions.
It was always like I say now, it was all band-aids on gunshot wounds.
To summarize astrology, that's all it was.
Where did the whole idea of you coming to
church and started to hear the preaching and the teaching come along?
Okay, so that friend that I mentioned, Alyssa.
I started to talk to her about Jesus, about
how you know I think there's actually something to this Bible thing.
And she was like, now that we talk about it, she's like, I was internally like freaking
out and trying not to just like scream and
cheer, because I was realizing, this is her say this.
I was realizing you were starting to get it, and I was seeing how close you were and so
I wanted to just make sure I was guiding you in the right direction.
So she invited me to church with her and I went, and it was very unlike the church that
I was used to growing up, like I said with that loose guise of Catholicism.
The pastor, he was talking about, actually the first service I went to he was talking
about covid, and he was talking about the
state of the world, and he was talking about how we are like at war.
And I was like, wow because he was speaking my language.
This is all stuff that I was talking about, just not through the biblical worldview.
So hearing it explained through the biblical
world view, things started to make sense with me, things started to click.
And I kept going back to that church, and I just kept getting more and more of the Word.
And so as I'm starting to learn the Word, I want to add this to, because people do it a lot.
The only way that I could justify being a Christian astrologer is by cherry picking
versus and taking verses out of context.
I can't tell you how many people message me
and say, oh God created the stars for signs and seasons. That's what it says.
I'm like, okay but what's the context of that? It's not zodiac signs.
It's not zodiac seasons. It's literally like fulfilling His own prophecy.
It's about Him and His glory, not about you. Which is all that astrology is, as I mentioned.
Anyway, so I kept going to church, I kept getting into the Word because I really just did.
I was hungry, I wanted to learn more and more.
And it's funny, when I started, I had it in my head I'm going to read from Genesis all
the way to the end, and that's just that's not what God wanted for me.
He brought me into the New Testament and I started reading the Words in red, and I started
hearing Jesus's voice and it got to a point a couple months later.
So this my encounter with the Lord was in September of 2021 and by December 2021 I finally
got convicted of astrology.
I had reached out to one of my friends, Kevin
who's now a really great brother in Christ on Instagram.
I reached out to him and I said, “Listen, God created the planets, He created the stars,
He created the sun, He created the moon.
Is it isn't it possible that we can just use these as tools to better understand His will?”
And he was firm and he was loving.
He said, “Look, I know it feels good but it's not true.”
And he sent me Isaiah 47, where it talks about how the astrologers will burn in their own
fire and that there's no one to save them.
And when I read that, I felt the Holy Spirit flood, just completely flood me and I was
consumed with this, with the true grievance
of my sin and I realized that what I was doing was demonic.
I realized it was a sin against God and He had been so gracious to me, meeting me where
I was, and I just didn't, I just didn't want to mess around anymore. I was like, all right.
I was on the fence at that point and I was like all right, I'm hopping over.
I'm done, and that's the day I called my best friend and I said, I was sobbing, I was like,
“Alyssa, I don't know what's happening.
I can't do astrology anymore. I can't do yoga anymore.
I can't do tarot anymore. I don't want to do any of this anymore.
Can I come over to your house? Can I bring it all? Can we do a fire pit and burn it?”
And she was like, “Yes, yes! We can, please, now.”
And I went over to her house right before Christmas that year and we burnt everything.
All my tarot cards, and all my books, and all the heavy stuff that we couldn't burn.
Like I had all these shrines of goddesses and I had all these crystals.
Her dad was just like so gracious enough to just take it all.
He was like, “I don't want you to put this back in your car.
I'm taking all of it and I'm gonna get rid of it.”
And so that was the start, that was the start
of my born-again experience because I really, I repented.
I repented and I received Him with faith, and I confessed that He was Lord and that
I needed Him and I was done doing it my way.
Speak in to that you, who you when you got saved, or just recently encountered Jesus and you were practicing that.
If you were to be watching this, what would you tell your old self?
How that person you know kind of corrected you. Could you speak into that? It's a great question.
So I would say because I know that New Agers are caught up in this idea of my truth and
us all having individual truths.
It's my truth and it's your truth, and that's what a lot of my old New Age friends have said.
Like that's great, that's your truth. Like this Jesus thing is your truth but this is
my truth, and to that I would say, there is no such thing as my truth or your truth.
There is only truth. Truth by definition can only be an objective outlook.
There is no subjective truth.
If truth were subjective, then truth wouldn't be truth.
But truth is unwavering by definition and the Word is clear.
The Word is clear what truth is.
Jesus says, “I am the way, I am the truth, I am the life.
No one comes to the Father except through Me.”
So I want to say in love, in the same loving firm bold tone that Jesus used with the Pharisees,
it does not matter what you feel like God is.
It doesn't matter how close to God these practices make you feel because feelings are liars,
and the Word is clear. Do not lean on your own understanding,
the heart is sick and deceitful above all things, who can know it?
But the Word says that Jesus is the vine.
The word says that He is the truth, He is the way.
You don't get to the Father except through Him and you don't get to decide what that
relationship looks like, because it's already laid out for us per His description, per His prescription.
He is the only anecdote. He is the only anecdote, and it's only through faith in Him, it's only in repenting for your
quote-unquote “truth” and submitting to what truth actually is, that you are going
to experience the healing that you are desperately searching for.
That you are so desperate on this hamster.
We are on the spiritual hamster wheel just running through over and over, and over, and
over again, trying to just pick and choose. Like I said this is like build a bear god.
You don't get to, you don't get to make God in this little cuddly idol.
God is clear on who He is.
Yeah.
He's not made in your image, you're made in His.
Come on. And so just submit, submit to His Word, submit to the truth, submit to Jesus
and just. I had this word from the Lord where He told me, when you were in My will, you
have My inheritance. And so that will, walking in His will means walking in obedience, walking
in obedience of His Word and picking up your cross every day and following Him, crucifying
your flesh. And for the Christians that want to say, that still speak against deliverance.
I realize that crucifying my flesh didn't mean trying to talk myself out of all this sin.
Crucifying my flesh actually meant crucifying what I thought about deliverance and just
asking God's opinion on it. And that's when my heart began to change, my mind began to
change and it was all because that was God's will and it is God's will.