Going to take a nice deep breath.
Keep breathing deeply.
The speculum will be very well lubricated.
This is scary.
So I’ve been finding myself up late at night a lot, ordering food
or even leaving my house and buying a lot of snacks and things.
Basically, it’s making me feel kind of... backed up
and just not amazing.
But I’ve been hearing about this new thing
that’s not even a new thing, but people are making it a new thing,
where you go and get a colonic.
Which essentially means that they go
and they shoot about 60 liters of water up your--
So, today... the colonic.
[One Star Reviews]
[Find colonics]
I just came across La Casa Spa and Wellness.
“The service is disgraceful, shameful, and embarrassing.”
“My colonic therapist kept playing with her phone
and actually took a call.”
I hope that they’re not playing on their phone
when they’re supposed to be playing with...
my asshole.
So, I’m not really sure if I’ve properly prepared for this colonic.
However, I’m just going to go over there and just figure it out
because that's just what I do.
And hopefully the sushi does not make an appearance at all,
if you know what I mean.
[On the Line: Taji’s Dad]
What’s up?
I’m heading to a lowly-rated colonic right now.
Oh, Christ.
That’s what you’ve got to have now?
And it’s going be 60 liters of water.
I just had something similar on Monday,
and I shed 400 pounds.
But that was a gallon and a half of this solution
that makes you crap like a fire hydrant.
Sixty liters?
You’ll blow up, you’ll die. Are you crazy?
So, they’re going to shove all this liquid up your ass?
Oh my God.
And they’re going to film it?
Hey, we’ll do lunch sometime soon, hopefully.
[La Casa Day Spa]
Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to slam the door.
-I’m so sorry. -It’s OK.
-I’m Taji. -Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Jane.
Jane? Nice to meet you.
I’m Jane Goldberg, I’m the owner of La Casa.
My first wellness center is in Puerto Rico,
so I wanted to kind of replicate that whole scene here.
I call this our self-healing room.
You stick your hand in here and it warms up your hand under pressure.
This concentrates oxygen that’s in the air.
This is whole-body vibration.
You stand up and go like that.
Ozone kills every pathogen known to mankind.
This water is made in Romania.
E. Coli is a specific frequency.
Blue light has to do with circadian rhythm.
It’s called the Schumann resonance,
which is the frequency of Earth herself.
I have a machine where I put it in my ears, actually,
because I want it to go to my brain.
It's a banana tree.
OK.
Yeah, I had a guy working here,
and came in one day, and it was sawed in half.
You did a pretty good job with the tape.
Yeah.
Twenty-six years for your daughter and your place of wellness.
Yes. You’re a good listener.
After my tour of La Casa, I got to meet Cher,
who will be performing my colonic.
I’m going to be floating around.
If you have any questions, I’ll be right here, OK?
-Cool. -Great.
Floating around.
-I’ll be floating. -Alright.
Sorry, it’s a colon joke.
Oh, OK.
Alright, you can go right on in and go ahead and change.
Cool. Thank you.
And I’ll see you in a few minutes.
-Right on. -Alrighty.
Alrighty. Thank you.
Makes you crap like a fire hydrant.
I shed 400 pounds.
You will absolutely leave with all of your limbs
-completely as they are now. -Got it.
You’ll blow up, you’ll die!
-Hi. -OK.
You can come on in.
I see you go to the bathroom once a day, is that right?
More or less, yes.
Once in a while, like, twice.
So it should be more like two to three times a day.
There’s probably still a lot of debris
that’s still left in your colon.
-When you stick the thing in there... -The speculum? Yes.
Yeah, what do you call it?
The speculum looks like this.
Not the whole thing goes in, it’s only about three inches, OK?
But this, it’s this wide?
Yes, it's the size of a normal stool.
-OK. -OK?
Or the width of a normal stool.
Fair enough. What's the mirror for?
You’ll be able to watch that in the mirror,
so that you can watch
Just going to grab the scissor here.
What’s the scissor for?
I have to open the packet.
Ahh, that makes sense.
How you doing, honey?
-I’m doing alright. -Are you a little bit nervous?
A little bit.
The speculum will be very well lubricated.
This is scary.
Going to take a nice, long, deep breath.
Keep breathing deeply, in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Is it in there?
Oh, ****.
Yeah, it’s in there.
-Oh my God. -You’re doing good, kid.
Now I’m going to put the outgoing tube on.
Holy ****, this is way more intense than I imagined.
What you can do to help you
is you could squeeze the sphincter muscles three times.
Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze,
and then release.
And then squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze,
and then release.
Imagine that you're at the beach.
You feel the smell of the salt air
and hear the sound of the water as it splashes up onto the shore.
You can hear the sound of the seagulls in the distance.
Taji, Taji?
-Sweetheart, look at me. -Yes.
Feels intense?
Yeah.
That was really nice.
As my bowels were being cleansed,
it felt like the perfect time to ask Jane and Cher
about the negative reviews that they had received online.
So, Jane, I did a little bit of research, and I saw, you know,
a lot of low reviews.
I was wondering if we could almost address them.
A lot of the businesses I’ve been to
definitely have had their reputation tarnished in a way,
sometimes, with these reviews.
In your past, have they ever affected you like that?
I think it's a very serious problem for all small businesses.
Because that would--
Taji, I’m going be talking to you, but not seeing you.
If we chopped off Cher’s head, it would be good.
OK, like the tree.
Someone said that they wanted an oxygen treatment on Tuesday,
but then they came in, and then it wasn’t offered on Tuesday,
but they had it booked for Tuesday... or something.
I think they’re referring to ozone.
Probably, the receptionist understood it to be an oxygen treatment,
not an ozone treatment, and booked it as an oxygen treatment,
which we do do any day of the week.
It’s actually somehow relaxing me asking about these reviews.
Someone literally wrote that it’s the worst place
in the entire New York State.
Someone said,
I’m not going to say this is necessarily about you in particular.
Apparently, someone during the colonic
was on their phone for a second.
You guys didn’t spend enough time--
I mean, I’ve had a lot of tragedies in my family.
When my mother was in hospice, I had to have the phone in the room.
I had to because I had to make sure I was there.
But if I’m expecting an emergency phone call,
I will say to the client, “That’s an emergency call for me.
It’s really important that I get it, do I have your permission to do so?”
-OK. -But I wouldn’t just be yakking away,
“Oh, yeah,” you know?
No, I definitely understand
because I feel a lot of times when people are writing these reviews,
they’re not really looking at the big picture.
I think that’s a pretty good way of describing it, yes.
I mean, I think you’re doing an incredible job.
You’ve even recreated a part of Puerto Rico
in New York City.
We’re the oldest wellness center in New York City,
so we apparently have enough clients that are happy
and satisfied with what we do
that we’ve been able to stay in business.
That is a beautiful story,
but can we also slow the pressure bursts?
Sorry to interrupt.
I was narrating the whole story, I’m like, “Oh, God. Oh my God.”
When you look in the mirror and you look in the toilet,
it’s going to give you inspiration to keep strong on your diet,
keep strong on your exercise
and doing all the other things that you do to support your health.
Because--
Whenever you’re ready, I think I’ve definitely had enough.
Do you want to stop?
I’m going to ask you to roll over on your left side, in a moment.
I will ask you take a deep breath and I will take the speculum out.
You’re going to hold your sphincter muscles,
but I don’t anticipate you having an emergency.
Got it, but just make sure I don’t ****, basically.
Alright, you’re going to take a nice deep breath,
in through your nose,
and out through your mouth.
-Yeah, alright now. -Holy ****!
I need to put this in the garbage.
OK, I can imagine.
Alright, sweetheart, you can come off the table.
How do you feel?
-Pretty good, actually. -Relieved, right?
Whatever comes out, it’s fine, just let it come out.
And in a few minutes, just get up, and come on out and get changed.
-Alright, thank you. -OK?
-To good health. -Yeah, good health. To good health.
To good colon health.
Living forever.
OK, to living forever.
Thank you so much.
[To Living Forever]
I was extremely reluctant to try out a colonic,
as any first-timer would be.
However, I honestly cannot have asked for a better set of staff
to guide me through my journey in one end and out of the other.
As one can imagine, it is quite an uncomfortable process,
but my technician helped calm me down whenever I would tense up
by meditation, massaging me, and singing to me.
In the end, I feel much lighter,
and I did not suffer a single side effect.
So thank you, La Casa Wellness Spa,
from the bottom of my colon.
You set your hand in here and it warms up your hand under pressure.
And one of the...
Does that fix any carpal tunnel things or not?
Well, everything here,
I’m going to answer that most simply,
everything here addresses everything.