>>>
>>> IF
>>> IF THE IDEA OF MAKING SMALL TALK IN A ROOM FULL OF STRANGERS
FEELS LIKE PULLING YOUR TEETH
YOU'RE NOT ALONE BUT THERE IS
VALUE TO LEARNING TO WORK THE
ROOM AND CONNECTING WITH PEOPLE
YOU DON'T KNOW.
PSYCHOLOGIST DR. RENEE GILBERT
SAYS LEARNING TO SCHMOOZE IS
POSSIBLE AND HERE ARE SOME
SIMPLE TECHNIQUES WE CAN USE.
SO, SOMETIMES PEOPLE THINK OF
THIS AS YOU ARE PULLING
SOMETHING OVER ON SOMEBODY BUT
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU ARE LOOKING
AT THIS.>> RIGHT, AND A LOT OF
IT IS MAKING PEOPLE FEEL GOOD.
IS TALKING WITH PEOPLE AND
CONNECTING WITH PEOPLE. RATHER
THAN COMING IN WITH AN AGENDA.
>> INTERESTING SOAP IN YOUR
SPACE LEARNING ABOUT SOMEBODY
ELSE AND BEING CURIOUS.>> THE
BEST WAY TO BE A GREAT TALKER
IS TO LEARN ABOUT THE PEOPLE
YOU'RE TALKING WITH.
WE LOVE WHEN PEOPLE TAKE CARE
OF US.
OF US.
OF US. >>
OF US. >> HOW DO WE DO THIS?
AND WHAT IS DIFFERENT ABOUT
THIS FROM A GREAT CONVERSATION
YOU MIGHT BE HAVING WITH
SOMEBODY?>> GREAT QUESTION,
WITH A GREAT CONVERSATION WE
REMEMBER THE TOPIC.
IT COULD BE EXCITING, YOU GO
HOME AND REMEMBER, WITH A GOOD
SCHMOOZING YOU REMEMBER THE
PEOPLE, YOU REMEMBER HOW YOU
FELT.
FELT.
FELT. YOU
FELT. YOU MIGHT EVEN WANT TO KNOW
THEM MORE.
THEM MORE. YOU WILL PROBABLY REMEMBER
SOMETHING ABOUT WHAT WAS BEING
SAID BUT THAT IS THE LEAST
IMPORTANT PART.
IMPORTANT PART. >> WHY IS IT HARD FOR US AS
HUMAN BEINGS, EVEN I FIND
MYSELF BEING SHY IN A ROOM FULL
OF PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW THAT I
DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
>> WELL, I THINK MORE PEOPLE
ARE SHY THAN NOT, WE ALL HAVE
SPECIALTIES.
SPECIALTIES. I DISCUSSED MYSELF AS A
RECOVERING SHY PERSON BECAUSE I
USED TO BE SHY AND I HAD TO
TEACH MYSELF TO GET OVER IT AND
IT TOOK A FAIRLY LONG TIME.
LIKE YOU, THERE ARE SOME
SITUATIONS WHERE THINGS CAN
STILL PUSH MY SHYNESS BUTTON
BUT IT IS A MATTER OF PRACTICE.
A MATTER OF LEARNING LITTLE BY
LITTLE AND I DESCRIBE SHY
PEOPLE AS THE SILENT MAJORITY
BECAUSE PEOPLE DO NOT TALK
ABOUT IT.>> EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT
OVERLY SHY, THERE IS SOMETHING
INTIMIDATING WHENEVER SOMEBODY
DOES NOT WANT TO GO SOMEPLACE,
PART OF THE REASON IS I DON'T
KNOW ANYONE.
KNOW ANYONE. I FEEL LIKE EVERYBODY HAS
TROUBLE WITH THAT, SO LET'S
TALK ABOUT THE POINTS OF
PRACTICING SCHMOOZING.
PRACTICING SCHMOOZING. THE FIRST IS OBSERVE AND WATCH.
>> WELL, THERE ARE NOT THAT
MANY GOOD TRAINING PROGRAMS SO
IF YOU LOOK AT PEOPLE THAT YOU
LIKE, PEOPLE WHO BRING OUT IN
YOU WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO
BRING OUT ANOTHER PEOPLE, THEY
ARE PROBABLY SOME OF THE BEST
PEOPLE TO LEARN FROM SO I KIND
OF SAT DOWN WITH A PAPER AND
PENCIL AND WROTE THINGS DOWN
AND PRACTICED IN FRONT OF A
MERE AND ENDED UP TEACHING
CLASSES.
CLASSES.
CLASSES. BEING A PSYCHOLOGIST IT WAS
KIND OF EASY.
>> WHAT DID YOU NOTICE THEM
DOING?>> WELL, YOU ARE A MASTER.
BEFORE I CAME HERE TODAY, I
LOOKED AT SOME OF YOUR
INTERVIEWS AND YOU HAVE A WAY
OF ADJUSTING TWO PEOPLE TO MAKE
THEM FEEL COMFORTABLE.
YOU CAN LEAN FORWARD OR TOUCH
PEOPLE OR STAY IN PLACE AND
MAKE WONDERFUL EYE CONTACT.>>
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU. I ENJOY HEARING FROM PEOPLE AND
IT IS EASY BECAUSE I'M CURIOUS.
>> THAT IS IMPORTANT, PEOPLE
WHO DO NOT LIKE PEOPLE AND
PEOPLE OFTEN HAVE A GOOD REASON
FOR NOT LIKING OTHER PEOPLE.
THINGS HAVE HAPPENED, THEY HAVE
HAD A HARD TIME, THEIR
EXPERIENCES ARE NOT SO GOOD BUT
IT WILL HELP TO LIKE PEOPLE, TO
BE CURIOUS, IT HELPS TO WANT TO
KNOW MORE ABOUT THEM AND AGAIN
IF YOU'RE TRYING TO FIND OUT
MORE ABOUT THE PERSON YOU ARE
WITH USUALLY THAT MAKES PEOPLE
FEEL BETTER.
FEEL BETTER. >> RIGHT BUT WE ALL WANT TO
SHARE STORIES AND IT IS FUN TO
HEAR THEM.
HEAR THEM. YOU ALSO SAID WRITE THINGS
DOWN, ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
SPECIFIC THINGS?
SPECIFIC THINGS? >> YES, IF I WAS WATCHING YOU,
I MIGHT LOOK AT THE WAY YOU ARE
ACTUALLY PUNCTUATING OR
EMBELLISHING WHAT YOU ARE
SAYING WITH GESTURES.
OF COURSE I ALWAYS LOOK AT THIS
BUT YOU HAVE SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT
GESTURES WHEN YOU INTERVIEW
SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND
THAT IS IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE TO
KNOW BECAUSE THEY WILL LEARN
ONE JESTER AND THEY THINK THEY
CAN DO THAT EVERYWHERE BUT WE
ARE ALL DIFFERENT, WE ALL SPEAK
SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT,
SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT, CIRCUMSTANCES ARE DIFFERENT SO
WE NEED TO ADJUST WHAT WE ARE
DOING, AND WHO ARE WE DOING IT
WITH.
WITH.
WITH. THAT MAKES THE CONNECTION.
>> INTERESTING.
>> INTERESTING. MEETING PEOPLE WHERE THEY ARE
IN THAT SPACE.
SO YOU SAY TO START WITH ONE
SMALL THING WHICH I LIKE
BECAUSE IT SEEMS OVERWHELMING
BUT YOU CAN DO ONE THING.
>> AS A SHY PERSON, I LITERALLY
FOUND IT DIFFICULT TO SAY HELLO
TO SOMEONE WALKING DOWN THE
STREET YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE WALK
ON THE STREET AND THEY WILL SAY
HELLO.
HELLO.
HELLO. I
HELLO. I WAS THE PERSON WHO DIDN'T SAY
ANYTHING.
ANYTHING.
ANYTHING. >> I'M SORRY, I AM THE PERSON
SAYING HELLO.
SAYING HELLO. >> I THINK IT IS WONDERFUL.
>> NOW I DO BUT IT IS A LITTLE
DIFFERENT NOW.
DIFFERENT NOW. MY CHALLENGE NOW IS WORKING
WITH PEOPLE IN THE DIGITAL AGE
BECAUSE PEOPLE BECOME DIGITALLY
ZONED SO YOU HAVE TO HAVE A
LITTLE BIT THICKER SKIN AND SAY
HELLO IN PRACTICING THE SKILLS
BUT START SMALL, SAY HELLO,
MAKE EYE CONTACT AND THEN LEARN.
WHEN I WENT TO A WORKSHOP I
WOULD JUST BE HAPPY TO SAY
HELLO AND THEN IT WAS HIGH AND
A QUESTION.
A QUESTION. >> THAT MAKE SENSE.
THERE IS SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT
AND YOU WILL HAVE A WORKSHOP TO
HELP PEOPLE WITH THIS AND THAT
IS A GREAT IDEA.
YOUR UPCOMING WORKSHOP IS ON
NOVEMBER 7 AT BELLEVUE COLLEGE
TO THE CONTINUING EDUCATION
PROGRAM.
PROGRAM.
PROGRAM. FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO SIGN
UP AS WELL AS OTHER CLASSES ON
SHYNESS YOU CAN GO ONLINE.
IT IS A GREAT TOPIC, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.
VERY MUCH. WHEN WE COME BACK WE WILL GO
FROM SCHMOOZING