THANK YOU VERY MUCH, LOTS OF NEWS TO COME, LET'S GET RIGHT
INTO IT.
AS YOU KNOW PRESIDENT TRUMP IS FACING AN IMPEACHMENT INQUIRY
FOR ASKING THE UKRAINE TO INVESTIGATE JOE BIDEN'S SON.
WELL TODAY WHIELINGS TALKING TO THE PRESS TRUMP SAID THAT HE
WOULD STILL LIKE THAT TO HAPPEN AND HE EVEN ADDED THIS.
>> LIKEWISE, CHINA OULD START AN INVESTIGATION INTO THE
BIDENS.
BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENED IN CHINA IS JUST ABOUT AS BAD AS WHAT
HAPPENED WHERE, WITH UKRAINE (LAUGHTER).
>> James: NOW HE'S ASKING CHINA, I MEAN TRUMP IS LITERALLY
DOUBLING DOWN ON THE SAME STRATEGY THAT LAUNCHED THE
IMPEACHMENT INQUIRY.
HE'S LIKE HEY, THEY CAN'T IMPEACH ME TWICE.
(LAUGHTER) TRUMP WANTS ONCE PUBLICLY CALLED
ON RUSSIA TO INVESTIGATE HILLARY CLINTON.
THEN HE ASKED FOR UKRAINE'S HELP WITH THE BIDENS, NOW HE IS
ASKING CHINA.
YOU HAVE TO ADMIT IT, IN HIS OWN WAY TRUMP REALLY DOES BRING THE
WORLD TOGETHER.
(LAUGHTER) THE PRESIDENT IS NOW OPENLY
COLLUDING WITH FOREIGN GOVERNMENTS.
HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE ABOUT APPEARANCES ANY MORE.
IT'S LIKE WHEN A DIVORCED DAD GOES THAT'S IT, FROM NOW ON I'M
WEARING SWEPT PANTS EVERY DAY.
THIS IS ME.
YEAH?
YOU DON'T LIKE IT?
(APPLAUSE) SPEAKING OF THE PRESIDENT, AS
YOU MAY KNOW HE TWEETED OUT A NICKELBACK MEME YESTERDAY
BECAUSE APPARENTLY THAT'S WHAT PRESIDENTS DO NOW ADAYS.
OVERNIGHT TWITTER TOOK DOWN THE TWEET AFTER RECEIVING A
COPYRIGHT COMPLAINT.
NICKELBACK VERSUS DONALD TRUMP.
NO MATTER WHO WINS WE ALL LOSE.
I NEV WOULD HAVE GUESSED THAT WHEN DONALD TRUMP FINALLY DID
FACE SERIOUS LEGAL CONSEQUENCES, FOR HIS ACTIONS, IT WOULD COME
FROM NICKELBACK.
SO THIS DOES SHOW YOU WHERE TWITTER DRAWS THE LINE.
THEY WILL ALLOW SEXISM, RACE.
, FAKE NEWS BUT YOU BETTER SHOW NICKELBACK SOME DAMN RESPECT.
MEANWHILE-- -- WHILE ALL THIS IS GOING ON THE DEMOCRATIC
PRESIDENTIAL RACE IS HEATING UP AND CANDIDATES ARE MORE FOCUSED
THAN EVER.
WELL, NOT ALL OF THEM, HERE IS ANDREW YANG WHO ENTERED A
CAMPAIGN EVENT YESTERDAY LIKE THIS.
>> .
NOW IF YOU-- IF YOU STILL AREN'T SURE WHAT THAT VIDEO WAS, LET ME
EXPLAIN.
IT WAS A CRY FOR HELP.
YANG WAS SKATEBOARDING AT A CAMPAIGN EVENT.
HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE.
YOU SHOULD SEE BERNIE SANDERS.
HE ABSOLUTELY SHREDS ON AN ELECTRIC MOSH ILITY SCOOTER.
(LAUGHTER) -- MOBILITY SCOOTER.
MOVING ON HERE'S THE NEWS FROM MY HOMELAND.
A PUB IN ENGLAND RECENTLY HOSTED THE WORLD'S BIGGEST GATHERING OF
FIE GELS.
(LAUGHTER) -- NIGELS.
433 MEN NAMED NIGEL GATHERED TO CELEBRATE NIGELNESS, RIGHT?
I LOVE IT STVMENT VERY BRITISH.
HUNDREDS OF NIGELS GATHERED AT A PUB IN WORCESTERSHIRE ENGLAND.
FOR YOU AMERICANS THIS IS LIKE, IT'S LIKE IF HUNDREDS OF DUDES
NAME BRAYDEN DESCENDED ON A FISH TACO STAND IN LONG BEACH.
THAT IS WHAT THIS IS.
ALL OF THE NIGELS WHO SHOWED UP WERE REWARDED WITH FREE PINT
OF BEER.
SO IT WASN'T SO MUCH 433 NIGELS AS IT WAS 433 MEN GOING YEAH,
SURE, MY NAME IS NIGEL.
(LAUGHTER) AND FINALLY WE WANTED TO SHARE
YOU THIS VIDEO, A TECH COMPANY IN SEATTLE HAS CREATED A ROBOTIC
PIZZA MACHINE THAT CAN ASSEMBLE UP TO 300 PIZZAS PER HOUR.
LOOK AT THIS.
JUSTA LEICA MAMA USED TO MAKEA.
300 PIZZAS IN AN HOUR.
I DONE KNOW HOW THAT IS POSSIBLE.
BUT PEOPLE ARE SAYING THIS WILL THE FUTURE OF PIZZA MAKING WHICH
IS FINE, BUT THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO UPDATE THE PIZZA BOXES
TO THIS.