In some ways maybe the men within Sikhi should talk more about women's freedom
Rather than just women talking about their freedom
The background to all this is Guru Sahib have proclaimed that the soul has no label
It doesn't matter whether you're male or female
It doesn't matter whether you're black white or anything
Your soul is the same soul as anybody else
So women and men have the same ability to achieve
with Vaheguru
Also women and men are equal
They're not the same
we understand that they're physically different
but irrelevant from the point that they are equal
The first thing we need to do is just talk through in the history of Sikhi
How Guru Sahib ji went through this
and one of the things we see is that there's a break from tradition
There was a tradition of sati
when the husband died, the wife was basically thrown onto the funeral pyre
and burned along with the husband because the value to a widow
was not there
Guru sahib spoke out against this and actually forbade it to his Sikhs
a woman was then freed from this idea that she is worthless
without her husband
There's so much shame that she should just basically kill herself
They also got rid of this notion of women being impure
In two ways that that manifested itself at that time was that
during menstruation women were seen as being unclean
and Guru sahid speaks out against this saying that that's ridiculous
If that is the he same menstruation from which birth is made
how can you call that impure when the children born from that you consider pure?
So that was one thing that they took out
Then also was this idea that they would attract men with their good looks
That was a fault with the women
and Guru Sahid says that's not the fault of the women
that she's beautiful
it's the fault of the man who can't keep his eyes to himself
It's the man's responsibility to control his own eyes
and obviously people might fail in that, and I failed in that
but the point is that it's not the woman's fault
That sinful label was taken off the woman
and that extends on to the idea of a woman covering her face
So Guru Sahib get rid of this idea of purdah
which was prevalent back in those times 500 years ago
Purdah was quite a common thing and Guru Sahib says no to that
and to the point where they actually don't allow a muslim princess at that time
to come and visit their darbar and speak to them
until and unless she removes the veil across her face
He's not going to go out and priest to everybody else
and say you can't do this or enforce it
but within our area Guru Sahib said
in the Guru's court, you're not allowed to enter with a veil across your face
because that's your essential humanity really
and taking that away from you is kind of dehumanizing
Carrying on with the idea of the onus being on the man
The idea of kam, krod, lobh, moh, ankar
well there's two vices in there: kam and khrod
that again fall in the individual to control
Now lust is obviously a very basic human force
but it needs to be controlled and used in the right way
Now what Guru Sahib was saying is within marriage it's not the idea
that you suddenly have license to do whatever you want with your wife
that's not legalized rape
a marital rape is against Sikhi
we should basically be respectful of every other person's desires and wishes
rather than force them just because legally we have this law
and so by putting the onus of controlling kam on the individual
it's your problem to control your own lust
and again looking at anger, it's not that a woman displeases a man
so he's able to just slap her or beat her up
this is not the way that things work within the Sikhi faith
What Guru is teaching us is that God is in the heart of every single person
and when you hurt a person you're actually almost sinning against God
now it doesn't mean that someone is a sinner or an evil person
and we can't deal with that person
what it means is that when the relationship based upon love like marriage
it doesn't mean that you have the right to abuse your partner
simply because you legally have married that person
We understand that Punjabi is not Sikhi
Sikhi is a philosophy and the teachings by the Guru
A lot of punjabis are Sikhs
so there is a fact that we have to face
the fact that actually Punjabi culture hasn't moved away from domestic violence
and not really giving women freedom
but the point is that Sikhi is telling us to move away from it
and Punjabism sometimes holds us back
there are very positive things with the Punjabi culture
but the attitude towards women is not one of them
so therefore what we have to do really is learn from Sikhi and not from Punjabism
Let's look at things that Guru Sahib have also instituted within this a culture
that they were creating
Firstly education: Guru Angad Dev ji invents the gurmukhi alphabet
and all the paatth and everything else gets written in gurmukhi
but he also sets up schools and women are taught in those schools as well
We're aware that Guru Amardas ji came into Sikhi
because one of his relatives was reading paatth and so obviously she was educated
Moving on from that we actually see Guru Sahib taking it one step further
and appointing women as being preachers
or effectively the heads of congregations across Punjab and in India
so Guru Amardas ji set up a whole system of munjies
where each manji would be an area in where a Sikh center would be headed by a person
and that person would be given responsibilities and powers by Guru Sahib
to spread the message of Sikhi
we see 22 of these centers were headed by women
so a lady at that time would be the person that you would seek council from
and learn about Sikhi from
When we look at Sikhi in a Gurdwara we can also see
that the principles of equality are inside of the Gurdwara as well
men and women are sitting on the same floor having the same langar
or in the same darbar hall sitting listening to the same kirtan
there's no screen between them there's no separate room for them
They're all treated the same
Even if we look at Sikh history the contribution of the women
that were important in Guru's lives is also within Sikhi
like for example Bebe Nanaki is lauded as being the first Sikh
because she followed her brother Guru Nanak Dev ji
and then we've got Mata Khivi ji who's the wife of Guru Angad Dev Ji
who is alluded for how much seva she did for the Sangat
Finally Mata Sahib Kaur ji becoming the mother of the Khalsa Panth
Guru Sahib didn't say "I'm the father of the khalsa Panth"
They also made a mother
That's an important fact to know
There's also Shabads that talk about women
puta mata ki asis
the importance of a woman giving her child blessings
that may you remember Vaheguru always
that importance to women has been there from the beginning
Actually if we look at even the sweetness of women's contribution to society
that's also acknowledged
Mata Khivi ji is feeding kheer and its praise is being so tasty
and then we've got Mata Sahib Kaur ji adding sugar to the Amrit
The recognition of the beauty that women bring to life, the mitthas
Guru Sahib then speaks to men
They said "look, you marry a woman and if she passes away, you seek another one"
We can't live without women basically he's telling men
and then he says "now you call her low who you yourself can't live without"
and then he also says "who is born without woman?"
You tell me only Vaheguru is without women
Another point which comes out from that is Sikhi has a feminine theology
Guru Sahib is saying "approach Vaheguru like a woman in love with her husband"
Like a bride approaches her husband
He uses that example and says that we're all women to Vaheguru
That a line from Guru Granth Sahib ji
that says that there's only one male in this world, the creator
our true husband and the rest of us are all women
when the Guru sahib is talking about women
They say "I go and ask my sisters how can I please my husband lord"
and it's important for us to note the feminine theology
I think there's actually a book by Nikki Gurinder Singh
that talks about this part in much more detail
and in probably in much more eloquent ways as well
when we went to war for example against people for whatever reason
Sikhs were famous for freeing women
and not taking them on as their captors themselves
In some other faiths, especially in the abrahamic so christianity, judaism, islam
women are sometimes seen as war booty
but we've got the opposite angle here
where the Sikhs would go and free women
they would go out and they would stop all the women that were being abducted
from India and taken up to Afghanistan
and they attacked those parties and they freed those women
This is a notable point in history
I'll put the link underneath where actually even the muslim chroniclers say
that it's known amongst them to have slavery
or to steal women or to take them and forced them into marriage
This is the culture that Guru Sahib built
from Guru Nanak Dev ji to Guru Gobind Singh ji
this consecutive ten gurus
the big thing that they did was to build this culture of respect for women
and respect for their freedom and all that also for their honor
and really that culture is what we should be all aiming towards
Now looking at Sikhi from the point of view of what Guru Gobind Singh ji
also brought to the freedom for women
Even the name of a woman
there are two parts of that name: the first name and the surname
Something Kaur
Now let's look at the first part: Sikh names are unisex
It's an amazing fact that I haven't really seen any other society out there
We've got unisex first names and all the names tend to be from Guru Granth Sahib ji
They tend to have some kind of spiritual context to them
Pointing to the fact that the soul has no sex
and we distinguish them by the second part: Singh or Kaur
A woman in Sikhi keeps that Kaur surname for the whole of her life
It's the royal surname
the word Kaur comes from Koer; Koer comes the word kumar
It used to be prince, not princess, it means more prince.
Singh also used to be a royal surname
and the proof of that is that there was a famous Akali called Akali Kaur Singh
t's just to distinguish between somebody being a male or a female
especially given the fact that our names are unisex
and there's no sense of woman belonging to a man
so once she gets married she has to change the surname to reflect his name
she doesn't have to follow the names of her father
she follows the name given to by Guru Gobind Singh ji
and she stays that her whole life
If you look at just Amrit Sanchar itself, once everybody takes Amrit
the Amrit goes around the whole Sangat
and whoever take Amrit that day and they all drink together
from the same batta because you're saying you're part of the same family now
It doesn't matter
obviously in a family you have some girls and some boys, but they're all the same
Guru Sahib is saying the same to us: take that one step further
the Sikh rehit will say to you that you can't even keep the company
of somebody who's taken part in female infanticide
A really sad fact and something for what we honestly deserve slaps as Sikhs
that Punjab has one of the highest rates of human infanticide in India
when actually Kurimar, killing your daughter because
you want male sons, is explicitly outlawed by Guru ji
Really Guru Sahib is giving such a great status to women
they're saying that if you kill your daughter because she was female
then they do not want to ever see you again
and no Sikh should talk to you ever again
another rehit which I wasn't quite aware of
A Sikh man is said never eat the earnings of his sister or of his daughter
Let them keep their income independent
That actually is an important part because dowry is not allowed in Sikhi
So taking on a dowry or being paid to marry your son off
to marry someone else's daughter is against Sikhi
so obviously the idea of actually saying never eat from the earnings
of your daughter or your sister means that they should be earning
They should be able to be independent financially
A final point which may be a little bit controversial
but for those people that do follow for example
and agree that Dasand Granth Sahib ji came from Guru Gobind Singh ji
Guru Sahib talked about Durga and for me, I see her as a role model
Here is a lady, a Devti, who is so strong
that she rides upon a tiger or a lion that's her savari
she carries a big sword, akanda kirpan
the king of the Gods has approached her for help
and she's invincible, she basically wins every battle
that she comes up against
when we see that, we see Mai Bhago when she goes off into battle
The men were supposed to be the warriors
Physically obviously men do have that advantage over women
but the point is that when men stop being men
then the Sikh woman has been given arms
Gru Sahib gave them a kirpan
Even in the British army women are not allowed in the front line
they are not allowed to be infantry soldiers
Here Guru Sahib is giving every woman a kirpan who becomes Amritdhari
saying that when times are tough, women also need to be armed
and then Mai Bhago ji takes it to the point when the Chali Mukhte
who we respect, they were led to battle by Mai Bhago ji
and she became a general
this is the strength of Sikh women
They were prepared to sacrifice their lives and everything just for the Guru
and they were given the highest respect by Guru Sahib
Even to the point where women are allowed to be women
and disappoint was raised to be by somebody else
it's not my point but a woman said that men are expecting women
to shave their armpits, shave their legs...
they're basically expecting women to be like pre-pubescent girls
The fact that Guru Sahib have given that onus upon the man to accept that
means that women don't have this pressure to conform
to really what in the last 50 years is a very western concept of beauty
Obviously I've made loads and loads of mistakes doing this
and I apologize sincerely for that
this was just my take and really from people I've spoken to
what they value and what Guru Sahib have gave to the world
as an example of equality within a religion
Vaheguru ji ka Khalsa Vaheguru ji ki Fateh