Oh, what is this? A new backdrop?
A new backdrop
Woah
Cool
We got half a clock, we have what looks like the stolen window of a church
H: Or a pope's hat S: Making a nice crown on Hannah
Doesn't it look like the pope? Doesn't he wear something like that?
Yes? I don't know. We've got a window that leads to another room
Yep, it doesn't matter
There's Hanna's playroom
We are back, it is Monday
That means it's time for your favorite Squirmy and Grubs segment
S: Monday Grub Bag H: Yes, Monday Grub Bag
Where we answer your most burning questions about life, love
And our relationship
Is there an L word for...?
I was gonna say relationship but I thought you'd come up with something better
And love
Life, love, and...
And laughter
We need a sign behind us from Home Goods that says...
Both: Live, laugh, love
S: Alright, we have some good ones H: Shall we begin?
Shall we begin with our title question?
Title question, what is the worst part of being disabled?
And I'll say, we also sometimes get what is the best part of being disabled?
So I'm just gonna add that one
You're throwing me a curveball here
I just thought, worst and best, you could do both
I like when people acknowledge that there are good things about being disabled
The worst is by far the fact that a significant portion of our world
The people in it, believe that I do not have any inherent value
That my life is miserable, that they would rather die than live a disabled life as I do
Ableism, generally, the belief that my life has less value than a non disabled life
I've been living with it and experiencing it my entire life
So I'm pretty over it, but it weighs on you at times
It's kind of ironic that people thinking your life sucks is the suckiest part of your life
It's exhausting to read all the comments that we get about that everyday
And it's ironic that that is truly what makes life more annoying
It makes me want to shake people
I know
Like violently shake them and be like "watch my videos, look how happy I am"
S: "I have a great life" H: "Nope, you don't look like it"
S: "He is tiny, he must be sad" H: (laughs) "He's tiny"
S: "His arms are small, he's unhappy"
Hold on, let me get that
Oh, that's the worst part
No, go ahead, go ahead
Best part is there's a lot of perks, like people giving me free stuff
Again because they think my life is sad
Being able to cut lines anywhere I want
And everyone's like oh, he's just in a wheelchair, he must be able to do that
Yep, I mean everywhere we go, if there's a line where we're supposed to line up
Whoever is manning the line will literally see Shane and they're like "oh my god"
S: They point H: They run to the back, they're like
S: "Get up, you're going in first"
Again, because they probably think my life is sad
Or they're trying to be helpful
This line is just gonna ruin it
No, I mean those are smaller little joys
But the bigger one is becoming a part of the vibrant disability community
And meeting so many people with disabilities that are awesome
And proud of who they are, and my journey of that acceptance
Has been the best part for me
It's not about the journey..
It's not about the destination, it's about the friends you've made along the way
Oh my god... you messed that up
Hold on, hold on
What's your best of me being disabled?
Do you want to ask me again when I'm not pulling something out of your eyebrow?
No, that's authentic
Okay, what's my best part of you being disabled?
I mean it's shaped our entire lives
I wouldn't even know where to begin
It's who I am, and you married me
I'm so immersed in that I don't even know what I would say, you know?
It's like what's the best part about meeting me?
The fact that you can walk
And I look up to you for that
Literally and figuratively
I look up to you, okay
The questions this round, I know Shane had said make it fun or whatever
People really did a great job
By the way, we get the questions from the comment section on these videos
So next week's video will come from questions in this comment section
So comment below if you want to know something
What message would each of you have for the class of 2022
If you were asked to give a commencement speech at your respective alma maters?
H: Wow S: I'm ready
(clears throat) To the class of 2022, thank you for having me here today
To bestow four, not three, four honorary doctorate degrees upon my chest
I'm humbled, I'm honored, I know that my accomplishments are something
That you will all strive to achieve in your lifetime
Am I supposed to stop this?
But I am here to tell you that it won't be easy, many of you will fail
You will give up, life will get too hard
Your dreams will wither and fall at your feet
But not mine, that is why I'm up here today
Thank you
Was that good? I'm available to be hired if you need
That was so horrible, that was horrible
What would yours be?
You made it worse than I can ever even have imagined
I think the students will be like "this is amazing, someone film this"
Yeah, "he's a freak" (both laugh)
I don't know what mine would be, I'm not good at that
I think that one of the things I'm worst at is grand statements
It doesn't need to be grand
No, but like vague statements that are like
"You're out here on your own now and you're gonna have to find your own way"
That's a good one, "you are alone"
That does not come naturally to me
I think I would in vague terms tell the students graduating
That no one ever really has it figured out
Don't worry if you don't have it figured out
That's beautiful
Thank you
That was smart
I think giving a commencement speech is my worst nightmare
It's so true, though, I mean your fake speech is valid
We all grow up with this idea that people older than us have it figured out
H: Yeah, eventually you'll get there S: Yeah, you don't ever
H: Nope S: I'm almost 30
H: Yeah.... oh, Jesus S: And I don't have it figured out
Any chance to bring up your birthday (Shane laughs)
Okay, what's the alarm sound y'all have to wake up in the morning?
Oh, the dreaded... we're gonna play it for you
I actually don't know, I'm checking
It's uplift, how do I play that?
You have to set an alarm, or...
H: Here, uplift S: Yeah, here we go
(alarm plays)
It gives me a pit in my stomach
See, this one doesn't right now
I change the sound as soon as I start getting a pit
I used to use the one that was high pitched and then it was like da-da-da
I once heard someone in a grocery store
Their phone went off and I wanted to throw up
I used it for so long, I was like ohhh that was so painful
Okay, if a toy company made an action figure of Shane and one of Hannah
What two accessories would come with each of you?
Great question, very thoughtful
That's the kind of creativity that we value here at Monday Grub Bag
Uh huh, that's a fantastic question
Go ahead Shane, I know you're excited
Yours, I'm doing yours, yours would be a birthday cake
But the branding wouldn't be birthday Hannah
It would just be you and you have a cake
What's my second thing?
Candy, a big garbage bag full of candy slung over your shoulder
I thought that mine would be swimming related
So I thought I would be in a swimsuit
And I would maybe have a ring float
And goggles or a mermaid tail
Like one of those inner tubes
Ah, and a mermaid tail?
Yeah, mermaid tail or goggles
S: Mermaid princess Hannah H: Yeah
S: Hasbro H: And you would come with a wheelchair
Does that count as one of your accessories, the wheelchair?
My wheelchair is a part of me, I would be connected to my chair with plastic
The straps do not come off
Non removable (laughs)
Mine would be a beer mug, very child friendly
And a weapon of some sort
A bazooka
I think that you would come with an assorted of sauces
A little plate of sauces and maybe something to dip
Kids would be like what the hell is this toy?
Both of ours are not normal
How do you feel like your relationship has grown over time?
Well, we're going from silly to serious
I didn't remember this being on the list
You added this secretly at the last minute
Yeah, neither, I forgot about this one
S: I have one H: Oh, go ahead
Earlier in our relationship, I was more nervous about pleasing Hannah 24/7
Same
And now I'm much more comfortable disappointing her (both laugh)
You know what? I was gonna say something similar, that I'm more comfortable...
That I can be ruder to you, I was almost not gonna say it because it's like a bad thing
H: But you said it S: No, it's true
But we used to be so perfect all the time with each other
And I think you do that because a small part of you is worried about the long term
Like, you want to stay in the relationship
Yeah, you're like if I show them this part of me they're gonna leave
If I react in this way
Yeah, and now we've both resigned ourselves to the fact
S: That there's no way out H: Forever
So might as well just be a slob
No, I mean obviously we still try to be our best versions of ourself
And I don't like when you're not home for the day, let's say
Is something blinking?
Yeah, our memory card's out of space, be right back
Is it still recording?
I think so, not for long
Did you hit record?
Yeah, we're back
That is entirely Hannah's fault
She's been taking nature photography lately and filled up our memory card
Filled up the memory card, my bad
Anyway, I was saying when you're out and about for the day
Back in the day I would've texted like every hour like
"How you doing? You okay? Is it safe?"
Yeah
Now I'm like oh, just go ahead, tell me when you're home
And that sounds bad, but I'm more just comfortable in our life, so
Yeah, I mean the texting, it was compulsive
To the point where our families got mad at us
Yeah, we had other relationship issues, it was so intense
And we knew it and we couldn't stop, it was obsessive
I was like I know, I know that we're out to dinner, but I have to text
Yeah, "I have to", it was horrible
And they were like "you just did it five minutes ago"
"Yeah, but she responded, so I have to respond"
Yeah, it was horrible, so we relaxed a little bit, I would say
Yeah, that's the big one, that we've relaxed
We've relaxed
We've relaxed in all areas of life together
Yeah
Okay, this is the last one, this is a good one
Navigating a multi generation household can be tricky and wonderful
How did you decide to do this and what advice can you give for others?
We'll focus more on the advice
Because we made a video about why we did it
Real briefly the headline is that it was mutually beneficial and desirable
For us and for her parents, so we did it
Yeah, for a variety of reasons
They're our best friends, we love them to death
And it just works well for our family
Yep
Advice about how to make it work
Advice, well it's officially been over a year that we've been living with them
It has, I think our biggest problem area
Which is where we can get our advice from
Is around food and meals, which shouldn't surprise you
I know, we now have separate areas for our foods to be kept
Different sides of the fridge
Because there were too many times when one of us would go to get an item
That we knew was in the fridge
Yeah, that we desired
And then someone else had eaten it
Yep, so now if Shane and I are done with leftovers from this restaurant
We will put them on the other side of the fridge
And then my dad knows that he can eat it
There's a designated George area of food that he's allowed to have
Yes, and he just goes there and takes from it, so it works well
But... go ahead
Oh, I was gonna say, I think the most surprising thing in the past year
Is how little we actually eat together
Yeah
When we moved in we thought that we would be having dinner together
Every night, like how we had when I grew up
Yeah, and we thought we'd have to carve out relationship dinner time
Yes, we were worried about that, that we wouldn't have alone meal time
We were like, shall we tell them that we want to eat alone a night a week or something?
That has never really been an issue
Nope
Hannah's parents eat together, we eat together, usually at different times
Here and there we'll have a meal together where we're all together
Yeah, and we'll be like this is nice, we should do this more often
I don't know why it doesn't happen more often
And then the other thing, again about meals
Is we split all our expenses here, and that can be weird when we want to buy a lot of snacks
But maybe her parents don't
Yeah
Like is it fair to split that? So we arranged an agreement
Where her parents cover groceries and we cover takeout and going out to dinner
And we thought that would be fair
But some months it's really uneven, so I don't really have advice there
But we're working on that
Figuring out that system, yeah
I think overall it's hard to give advice
We just happened to find the perfect house for this
The perfect situation with separate areas
And it just worked perfectly, and personalities also
It's hard if you don't want to live with that person
But I think one thing that we do really well is whenever there's a big decision
To be made, usually with a monetary aspect to it, we have a conversation
With all four of us, like no one person ever just decides
"I'm going to repaint the living room" and then lets everyone else know
We talk about it and agree it together
Yeah, even if it's just buying a small piece of furniture for the public area
We discuss things because we're splitting them
And that has worked really well
Yeah, so that's our advice
Yeah, it was kind of vague
Well, all advice is vague as you said about the commencement
Try your best
So that is Monday Grub Bag episode 3
Yeah, three weeks in a row, we're almost a month in
Let's pat ourselves on the back
Yep
Can you do it?
Goodbye everyone