Hello, John
By now, you will have received my message that we will no longer be communicating through any texts or means.
No more instant messaging, no more emailing.
Only video blogging.
You can see my eye in my eye...
Ahhh
Okay, let's try to ignore that.
There. You can't see it now, can you?
Last time I sent you an email from a New Year's Eve party in Lake Tahoe
We emailed all our plans.
Starting on January 1st, today, I will send you a video blog.
Tomorrow, you will reply to that video blog.
We will continue like this until the year is up.
If one of us fails to send a video blog on a weekday, there will be certain punishments.
Brotherhood 2.0 commences today.
Good morning, Hank. It is January 2nd, 2007.
I've just spent 2 hours and 13 minutes downloading your two minutes and one second video,
which can only mean one thing:
that I'm at Mom and Dad's house --
the last residence in the United States of America with dial-up internet.
On the upside, it's awfully pretty.
Plus I get to be surrounded by memories of our childhood.
I know we've already agreed to dole out punishments if one of us fails to update our video blog on the appointed date.
I've been thinking that we could also periodically give each other challenges.
I've come up with a few suggested challenges:
We-eat-five-sheets-of-toilet-paper-while-discussing-the-political-situation-in-Nepal challenge
(whispers) I'm very interested in political situation in Nepal
We-drink-a-glass-of-strawberry-hill-wine-without-hurling challenge
Maybe we can make Thursdays and Fridays challenge days?
Hi John,
(heavy breathing)
good morning!
Wow, that guy was having fun.
It's seven o'clock in the morning and I'm about to get on a plane.
Yesterday, I was sledding down the hill at Lake Tahoe.
That was fun.
This isn't fun.
I hope you don't mind if I make a suggestion as to how to begin
our conversation on this video blog.
Being your brother is kind of frustrating sometimes.
This is because people walk up to me and they say,
"Gosh, you look so much like your brother!"
Apparently, some people even think that we look like the twin rock duo, The Proclaimers.
Which is admittedly better than people thinking that we look a twin rock duo, Nelson.
So, I would like to propose a list:
we make a video blog list of all the ways
in which we are very, very different people.
Things like, in the last few years,
John Green has gotten kind of pudgy.
Whereas, in the next few years, Hank Green will get kind of pudgy
And also things like,
John Green has never spilled a tiny amount of beer on his wife's MacBook...
which then proceeded to not boot up.
And also, John Green didn't do the happy dance when his wife was in the shower
and he reinstalled the battery and tried to boot it up the next morning,
and it worked.
*Hank dances aggressively*
Good morning Hank, it's Thursday, January fourth.
I'm standing on top of Little Pisgah Mountain in North Carolina.
Hank, in your last video,
you asked me to continue our discussion of our differences.
I think one of the most
important differences between us is that
you are excellent at living in a way
that's commensurate with your values, whereas, I am not.
For instance, I didn't recycle until I watched "The Inconvenient Truth"
and I'm still sort of iffy on it.
And also... uh, I didn't vote in 2000
even though I could have voted in Florida.
(hitting himself) Argh, George Bush! It's all my fault, argh! So stupid!
(large sigh)
Let's change the subject.
Also, we have vastly different happy dances.
(John demonstrates his happy dance)
Yes!
What I noticed that in your last video is you completely ignored my
eat-five-sheets-of-toilet-paper-while-discussing-the-political-situation-in-Nepal challenge.
And if you're not going to eat five
sheets of toilet paper while discussing
the political situation in Nepal...
Well, I'm going to.
(disgusted noise)
The thing about the political situation in Nepal
is that there are these Maoist rebels who can hold
one half of the country.
Who has Maoist rebels anymore?
(disgusted) Oh
No
(coughing noises)
I can't do it, Hank.
I think this stuff is 2-ply, too.
I think that was part of the problem, because you
get the 1-ply stuff, I can just --(eating noises)-- shoot down that stuff,
but this stuff? Ooh.
Good morning John, it's January fifth,
and I'm sitting in my basement,
back home, surrounded by all the things that I love.
I love orange juice.
I love Mental Floss magazine and Benjamin Franklin.
I love that (points) right there. See it? There.
That's a map of the realm of Narnia.
Hold on, I have to go upstairs and get something.
What did I get?
We don't actually have Strawberry Hill here.
I didn't know that.
I'd never look for it.
Sutter Home's White Zinfandel have to do.
(cork pops off)
A commentary suggested that I drink a glass of Strawberry Hill wine
and then say:
"Eat five sheets of toilet paper while discussing the political situation in Nepal"
really fast,
without vomiting.
I'm going to do that.
And there's only one way that I'm going to be able to do that...
and that's by eating corn dogs.
Eating corndogs is the only way I can chug an alcoholic beverage without puking.
I don't know why.
I think, maybe, my stomach's just like:
"Ohh, that corn dog is so good, I just can't let go of it!"
Not Strawberry Hill, but it only cost three dollars and sixty-five cents.
(sniffs) Eugh.
To Brotherhood.
(gulping)
Eat five sheets of toilet paper while discussing the political situation in Nepal.
(victory grunt)
(sing-song like) Eat
five sheets
of toilet paper while discussing the political situation in Nepal.