Hi, my name is Paul Friedman. I founded The Marriage Foundation and today's
topic is how to deal with an ungrateful husband and this is not an unusual topic.
In fact, it's not an unusual topic on the other side either. Somehow we seem to be
living in a world where people don't express gratitude. It's not that they're
ungrateful that the real promise that are not expressing it. And so, how do you
deal with this? Well, let's ask a question and I don't mean to turn the tables on
you and go, "This is your problem." Because maybe your husband is not even feeling
gratitude and that's what you're feeling and it hurts. And you know, if you beg to
express he won't respond to that, not in a positive way and besides it would
be phony if he did. And if you told him, "Honey, I just could use a
little reassurance everyone saw that the things I do for you are appreciated."
That's not going to work either and if you have to tell somebody then
it's not cool. I have a solution and I hope you appreciate this solution
because I hope you appreciate it because it works and
it's deep, it's kind of deep. You got married originally in order to be
happy and so, what you're telling yourself now is, "Well, I'm not happy
because I'm not appreciated." And I want to share something with you that maybe
you haven't thought about but when you got married, you got married to be happy
and the source of all happiness is love, and the source of love and I don't mean
to be getting religious on you but this is spiritual, but the source of all love
is God. We can't make love, only God can and the truth is that we feel love by
giving love because God's love when we give it we use our free will and our
volition and we give that love and that's when we feel it -- that's the truth.
Unfortunately, because we live in this mundane creation the mind, the ego says
"Well, I'm not being respected. I'm not being appreciated." You won't feel it
anyway if your husband put a banners. It would only be a matter of time before it
wasn't enough because that's how the mind works. So, my suggestion and please
take this the right way just experiment with this and see if it works.
Test it because we're not going to change your husband anyway but see if
expressing love especially when you're feeling
unappreciated, express love, you don't have to say anything but feel it. Flow it
through you and see if that overwhelms the lacking that you're feeling because
I think it will. I think it will. Darkness and let's call
unhappiness darkness. You can't beat it up away. There's nothing you can do to
get rid of it but when you bring happiness in it's
like striking a match in a dark room. The darkness is gone like it's never been
there. And so, try this method. When you're feeling unappreciated, try expressing
love. If you want to express it outwardly express it outwardly but without any
expectations because expectations get in the way of love. Just give the love and
see what happens. See if that works and in the meantime, I think it would be a
good idea for you to read one of my books that gives so many great ideas of
how to improve your marriage and it's a very inexpensive way to develop a
marriage because I want to tell you marriages are supposed to be amazing.
They're supposed to get better every single day. You're supposed to be feeling
more and more happiness every single day. And if you're not, it's not the fault of
your husband, it's not the fault of you -- you don't know. I used to do
divorce mediation. It's a roundabout way how I got into saving marriages but it's
how it happens. I saw lots of misery, lots of suffering and I discovered ways of
bringing happiness into marriage to where people just are so excited to be
married again. More excited than the day they got married. So
get educated, learn about marriage. There's so much to gain. I hope this was
useful for you. I know I came at it a little bit differently than most people
would but you've got to remember you can't change your husband.
We can't change others. We have a hard enough time changing ourselves and yet
we have enough wisdom, we have enough love within us to really make everything
work. So hopefully, this will benefit you. If you want to subscribe, please do so.
If you want to like this, if you want to share it other than all of that
blessings to you, blessings to your husband, and blessings to your family.
God bless!