Oh.
So sorry.
Heather. Heather Fox?
James Diamond and Carlos Garcia.
From Camp Wonky Donkey.
Hee haw.
Oh, yeah, I remember you guys.
We're in a band now. It's called Big Time Rush.
And we're shooting a cool video. [chuckles]
On the lot.
Oh, wow, that's totally cool.
Hey, we should catch up over lunch some time.
Good luck shooting your video. Bye.
Whoo! The crowd is amazing. The guys are going to love them.
Hey, you.
They're still not here?
They're stuck on the highway in Jamzilla.
It's not their fault.
How many encores do you need?
Two. Five.
25.
I'll just... sing 'til I run out of songs.
Hey, who's the present for?
Grandma.
Oh, cool. Is it, uh, diamond encrusted dentures?
Is it a platinum and emerald bracelet
that says "Number one Grammy?"
Is it a helicopter?
Boys, it's even better.
It's a homemade scented candleholder.
And I made it myself.
Where are the emeralds?
Man, Christmas ain't about expensive gifts.
It's about giving from the heart.
And you guys, good luck on your album.
Lucky.
'Cause I could use a really great opening acting concert.
Okay, James, you can let go. James.
- James. - James!
And I hope you and Jill work things out.
Don't worry about it. We'll be fine.
Oh. It's a giant silver earring. This thing must be worth-
Who be ruining me beach now?
Ah! Real pirate!
Haha. Not just any pirate. Patty, the Pirate,
the saltiest skull and bonsyiest hook handiest pirate
to ever search for buried treasure.
Buried treasure?
Ah, the treasure would be Great Grandpappy's
Scratchy, the Pirate. Ha. I got his map right here.
No. No, uh, that's a doodle of me finding the treasure.
Hey. Ah. No, that's a bone.
There you go, boy.
[cheering in distance]
Get in there.
You want to be my girlfriend?
I've kind of had a crush on you since your first album.
Well, why didn't you tell me?
I'm shy.
You?
What can I say? I'm a shy spy.
Let's get out of here, Jennifers.
I think One D's in the VIP room.
But I have to warn you, it's not easy dating a spy.
You never know when you might get caught
in the middle of a dangerous mission.
I don't care.
[knocking]
Hello?
I'm Fabio.
Did somebody join my pocket group-
Fabio, how would you like
to date a totally cool and amazing woman?
Oh, no. Not another kid to ask me to date their mom.
I'm leaving.
Time for plan B.
[groaning] Not another net.
[thudding]
Kendall. I got some snakes for the dance and-
Help, please.
Dress rehearsal with Nick Cannon!
What up? What up? What up? What up? What up? What up?
Man, this show is gonna be so big.
I mean, you guys are here. We got Alexa Vega from Spy Kids.
And Lucy's Stone just agreed to come.
Lucy's gonna be here?
Yeah, man. I mean, she's flying
in from Europe just for the show.
Well, that's amazing.
Where's the coop room, hmm?
Logan, that's a rumor.
Oh, okay, Nick, a purple goofy rumor
that I will find.
Okay, let's get dress rehearsal going.
Let's get cameras rolling.
And let's get up with Big Time Rush.
Please welcome Kendall... and Carlos.
[screaming]
Uh... Big Time Rush, everybody.
We'll be right back.
Thanks, Gavin. I think this song is going to be huge.
- Quite, man. - Right. Quieting down.
Okay, guys, when you sing,
I want you to imagine a cool breeze.
Okay? Just blowing in your face.
One, two. One, two, three.
Ah! Not the face!
[unintelligible]
That was terrible.
Somebody call Colorful Pants.
Hey, I made it.
I got a phone call about hosting
some Big Time Super Blooper Show.
I never let my fans down. I got here as fast as I could.
Hello?
What in the world is that?
Really, aren't you guys ever on stage?
Well, we are about to sing and dance a song.
But maybe we should sing a new song called,
Well, Well, Well, Someone's Being Naughty Again.
Uh, or what- what about
the Not Sharing Food With Your New Friends song?
Huh, where's that one?
Did he say share?
Mmm.
We just are really hungry
and the snacks on our stage stink.
Well, not sharing stinks, too.
Can you share something with us?
- We can share. - We love to share.
- Name it. - How about they share
their voices and sing?
[laughing]
♪ I love to share With my friends ♪
♪ It's never any fun by myself♪
♪ I love to share With my friends ♪
♪ And they share with me ♪
♪ So we have a good time Together ♪
♪ Sharing forever It's fun ♪
This... is all your fault.
Cher's here.
[shrieking]
Hello, James. I'd like a little word with you.
Cher, I'm so sorry for crashing your song,
but Big Time Rush were caught in some scandals
and you and me singing together would fix those scandals,
cause you're cool and awesome and that face-
Calm down. I guess there's no harm done.
But, after my video shoot today, I shall be releasing a statement
saying that you and I were just messing around
for the cameras and there is no duet.
I like it. Smart.
Cheerio, darlings.
Dream Team.
Austin, Katie. Katie, Austin.
Hey, Katie.
The guys have told me so much about you.
Oh, really? Like what?
That, uh, if they didn't invite me
to the after party to meet you, you would've killed them.
Aww, I would have.
Activate leave them alone mode.
Dara, it's me.
Carlos?
You shouldn't be here right now.
I know.
If my stepmother sees you, I'm afraid
of what will happen to you.
I'll risk anything for you.
And don't worry,
my friend is watching out for us.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Let go of me, you wicked witch!
Dara, give me your phone.
And everyone leave the floor now.
Who in the name of candied yams are you?
We are the Big Time Marketing Team
of Kendall, James, Carlos, Logan, Gustavo and Kendall.
Too many names. I'm gonna call y'all Clem.
What you got, Clem?
Sure. I'm sure you'll agree
The items under this fancy shiny-
Stop right there, Big Clem. You see them boxes behind you?
They are empty.
I wanna fill 'em with merchandise,
get into my stores and make me some money.
Now [unintelligible] into my side parts
and pinch me.
Right. The first item you're going to see is
a classic. The Big Time action set.
Which include some of your favorite
Big Time catchphrases.
You're stupid. You're stupid.
Did them dolls just sass me?
We're Karmin and we're here to present
this year's Awesomest Hair Award.
And the nominees are:
Jett Stetson...
[cheering]
That's tonight?
Amy Heidemann of Karmin...
[cheering]
and James Diamond from Big Time Rush.
[cheering]
And the purple locket goes to..
[drum roll]
Amy Heidemann from Karmin.
[cheering]
With One Direction, The Wanted and three new boy bands
crossing the Atlantic with hot new albums
and huge US summer tours,
it's a new British invasion that will surely leave
American boy band Big Time Rush in the dust.
Allow me to introduce to you the creative genius
behind the Fairly Odd Parents and hopefully
your Big Time cartoon, Mr. Butch Hartman.
Hi, I'm Butch Hartman.
Fella's, Big Time Cartoon is just like the story
of Big Time Rush.
Cool.
- Check it out. - Ah.
It's a story about a boy band who sings
and fights crime with magical shoes.
[gasping] Magical shoes.
They're not really magical.
It's the magical shoes that you guys found in a cave
that gives you the magical power of Dance Fu.
Check it.
♪ Don't wanna get nasty But this is how it rocks ♪
♪ This is Big Time Rush's house Not a kitty litter box ♪
♪ You got posters on the wall But it ain't no thing ♪
♪ Cause we're gonna rock This out ♪
And put posters... on the wall. Eventually.
Chicka chicka, what?!
There's so much pressure. Okay?
♪ Listen up now Cause this is how it goes ♪
♪ This is Cat's house now And not for stupid bros ♪
♪ And I mean it When I scream it ♪
♪ And no need To read between it ♪
♪ Cause you know That we always attack it ♪
♪ Big Time Rush is going To end up ♪
♪ Like Boyz in the Attic ♪
♪ Just another distant memory On the wall ♪
Great work, commissioner.
I'm not so sure.
It's starting to look like an inside job.
Gustavo Rocque, you're under arrest.
What?
- What? - What?
Your fingerprints are all over both crime scenes.
He works here, genius.
Uh, yeah, why would I rob my own studio?
Zip it, punk.
Don't worry, boys.
He's going away for a very long time.
- Get him out of here. - Ah!
- Wait, it was us. - We did it.
[cheering]
We're here to announce the nominees-
We didn't even get to say anything.
Yeah, seemed a little too fast.
The nominees for Awesomest Video are:
Just Incredible by Justin Timberlake...
[cheering]
There's Lucy.
Okay, so after the award, the Dream Team will-
James. No, James.
Black Eyed Video by Black Eyed Peas...
[cheering]
James, what are you doing?
Apologizing for earlier,
and it's really great to see you.
Apology accepted.
You Dumped Me For Her by cool new artist nominee,
Lucy Stone.
Which one of you threw away my sippy cup?
Hey, at least we're safe in our apartment.
Very safe.
Who are you?
Winnie, your number one fan. [chuckles]
Now, can you guys sign these baggies of your hair?
No! No! No! [buzzing]
[screaming, buzzing]
[laughing]
Now that's what I call a Big Time shock.
And that wraps up another edition
of Scott Baio's Taser Tots. Good night, everybody.
But I like [unintelligible]
Why don't we just ask him?
You better let me handle this, son.
He's armed and dangerous.
They're gardening shears.
I never trusted him.
If anything happens to me... I want you to have this.
But if nothing happens to me, I want it back.
I'm going in.
[grunting]
[screaming]
[thudding]
Mom? What are you doing here?
I came for my Mother's Day present.
But I mailed it three days ago.
It slippers that massage your feet when you walk.
Ooh.
Wrong. My gift is you coming back with me
to be the face and future CEO of Brook Diamond Cosmetics.
[kissing]
Oh. He's frozen with excitement.
Did you say you were taking him home?
To Minnesota?
Tonight. I'll go pack his things.
Good morning, L. A. What up?
It's JoJo on the radio in the studio
with Kendall, Logan, James and Carlos.
Carlos, I understand you have BTR's next hit single with you.
I gotta be honest, JoJo.
It's my favorite song on the album.
Which is [disagreeing]
[disagreeing]
Let's hear this thing.
It's for these occasions.
I've kept such a great friendship
with heavy metals' top mom, Lita Ford.
- Huge fan. - Awesome.
Thanks a lot, Lita!
Anytime, guys. Anytime.
Okay, come on.