As I've said, this is, it's a big deal for us.
During the next three weeks, including this one,
we're gonna be winding things up here at TBS,
and I'll be leaving the nightly format
that I've been doing for the last 28 years.
It's kind of unbelievable.
My 11 years at TBS have been an absolute joy.
They've been wonderful to us.
They've let us do whatever we wanted.
So, we're gonna be celebrating that time with TBS
with some fun guests and some surprises.
And guess what?
We're also gonna have real live audiences
here at Largo starting next week.
That's right.
No more cardboard cutouts.
No?
I'd better move.
Yeah, you're gonna be-- [Andy] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You get to come back up here, finally.
Oh, what's it like up there?
Oh, Andy, it's gonna blow your mind.
It seems really nice.
(laughs) Anyway, it's gonna be a lot of fun.
We're gonna have a blast.
Think of it as a two-week party.
Which, when I say it out loud, that sounds awful.
Yeah, it does.
It sounds terrible. [Andy] It does.
No one wants to go to a two-week party.
(crew and Andy laugh)
Anyway, we're gonna be hungover, dehydrated,
and just hating each other.
As you can imagine, we're gonna be looking back
at some of our favorite things we did here.
That's gonna be part of the show.
So, I wanted tonight,
we showed a piece last night that was really fun
where I played the blues
with some first graders in Chicago.
Well, tonight, I wanna show you a piece
from one of our "Conan Without Borders" travel specials.
It's from 2016 when I visited Berlin
and Andy and I learned a traditional German dance.
Take a look.
(traditional German music)
I am here with Hans and Simon.
Is that right?
Which one are you? No.
(audience laughs) [Conan] What?
I'm Franz. Franz?
I'm Franz. I thought you were Hans.
I'm Franz.
And you're, what are you, you're Dietrich?
You're Simon.
Simon--
Hans. Hans.
No, Franz.
Franz. (audience laughs)
What?
Franz. (Conan growls)
I've had a lot of these. (audience laughs)
Today, I want to learn traditional Bavarian dance.
You guys are experts.
We are.
You are brothers.
This is the, what is that happening now?
There's a vest here. [Franz] It's a vest, yeah.
This is, like, sort of a leprechaun thing.
(audience laughs)
And then you have--
This is lederhosen.
No, they're bondage shorts. (audience laughs)
What's going on with the socks?
[Franz] It's called (speaks in foreign language).
So, that's German for pieces of socks?
(audience laughs) What's going on here?
You've got two spoons in your pocket.
What do you use those for?
(upbeat traditional music) (spoons tapping)
(audience laughs)
(audience cheers) It hurts!
It's painful!
You brought a musician with you.
Appreciate you leaving your cuckoo clock to be here.
(audience laughs)
How do you say zing in German?
Zing-geim. (audience laughs)
Right?
Yeah.
You guys have worked together before?
Yes, we have. (audience laughs)
[Crew Member] He's their dad.
Are you their father? (audience laughs)
You're the father?
No one told me that!
I didn't know either.
[Conan] What the hell?
You just found out that this is your father?
Suddenly, I'm the German Maury Povich.
(audience laughs)
I deserve a swig after that.
(audience laughs)
I think I should begin, learn some dance.
We're gonna learn some,
what kind of dancing is it called?
(Franz speaks in foreign language)
(Conan repeats in foreign language)
You can't learn the (speaks in foreign language)
when you don't look like a Bavarian.
(traditional German music) (audience laughs and cheers)
I'm ready to learn.
Looking good.
Good to see you.
Gruppa, Schtarmia, let us begin.
(group sings in foreign language)
(Conan sings in foreign language)
(audience cheers and applauds)
(Conan sings in foreign language)
(audience cheers)
We're gonna show you what you got yourself into.
Okay.
(upbeat traditional music)
(Franz and Simon shriek)
You think I could learn this? Of course, yes.
But I'm not like your sons.
You can't beat me with a wooden stick to make me dance.
They didn't want this.
This isn't what they wanted.
They wanted to work with computers.
You were like, "No, no!"
They can do both.
(audience laughs)
[Franz] Come on.
Come on.
The guy's a monster.
For you, easier. One, two, three, four.
One-tee, fun-tee, padum-bum-bum.
Pretty good. What's that?
I mean, close enough.
Closer, please.
Closer? (audience laughs)
Stick. You guys know what I'm talking about.
So one, two,
three, four-- Hey, where are your hands?
Bah.
You knew where my hands were. (audience laughs)
Don't be a dick and say, "Where are they?"
I think you know where they are.
How come you have no accent? (audience laughs)
I don't understand what's happening here.
First of all, you are,
I mean, clearly, you were carved out of a sausage.
And then you actually seem like a German guy.
And this guy is like, "Dude!
"Let's wax up the board.
"Let's catch some rays."
What's happened to him?
Do you know Billy Joel's the "Piano Man"?
(audience laughs)
Yeah, I've heard about it.
(speaks in foreign language)
I'm not talking about that.
I'm just asking if you knew Billy Joel's "Piano Man".
That's all.
Later.
First, work, then the fun.
(audience laughs)
Fun childhood for both of you.
(audience laughs)
Two, three, hit it.
(upbeat traditional music)
Once again.
Once again, again. Again.
So, he'll play-- Ha.
You started a little early.
No, I just gave you the chance to be in the right spot.
Oh! [Franz] So, Conan, come on.
Does he ever admit he's wrong?
[Franz] No.
One recommendation: group therapy.
Would you think about it, with your two sons?
(audience laughs) So, you say no therapy,
let's just keep with this insane scheme of yours
to make your children dance and dance and dance
until the grave?
(audience laughs) (upbeat traditional music)
Ready?
Just one suggestion.
Yeah.
Don't spread your fingers like this.
We know you have 10 fingers.
It looks better if you do it like this.
(audience laughs and applauds)
(upbeat traditional music) Two, three, four.
(group shrieks) (audience cheers and applauds)
(Conan mimics gunshots and yodeling)
Pretty good. (audience laughs)
You know, I'm only in town for a couple of days.
I think this is pretty good.
Now, I know not by this guy's standards.
There are certainly a few things which we could improve.
(audience's laughter drowns out talking)
[Conan] Yeah.
You just do like...
Just hit us.
(upbeat traditional music)
(clapping)
(speaks in foreign language)
Oh! (audience laughs and applauds)
You hit me in the face!
Look at that!
(audience laughs)
You guys have been doing this since you were fetuses.
I mean, literally, you were born,
your dad squeezed you into some leather pants,
started getting wooden spoons
and making you live out this sick dream.
And now you're ganging up on me.
(audience laughs) And I don't like it.
I wanna bring in someone
who's the most German guy I know.
Could you come in here please?
(speaks in foreign language) boys.
(audience cheers) [Conan] Andy, what?
What are you doing?
Well, this is the only place I can really be
in my natural state
without breaking up too many marriages.
(audience laughs)
Here are these,
this is like the reason you put a bell on a cat.
[Conan] Really? (audience laughs)
So I don't catch too many birds.
(audience laughs)
Ladies can be sneaking farther.
(Conan laughs)
Because of your German roots,
I think this is gonna come very naturally to you.
All right, let's give it a try.
Okay.
(upbeat traditional music)
[Andy] Oh dear... (audience laughs)
(shrieking)
You condone this?
That's brother-on-brother ass play,
that's insane!
Yeah.
(upbeat traditional music) (audience laughs and cheers)
[Conan] Okay. Oh!
You enjoyed watching that?
Watching us slap each other's asses?
(audience laughs) Like that?
It's part of the show.
Oh yeah, everything's part of your little show,
isn't it? (audience laughs)
I know what you've been doing and it stops now.
(audience laughs) It stops now.
(upbeat traditional music) (audience cheers and applauds)
Oh, my God.
That guy, man, we had--
Yeah.
That was unbelievable.
He was perfect.
(Conan laughs) [Andy] Killed me.
He did not disappoint for a second.