hello
guess what i'm doing
i'm gonna get some expensive gas
wait for me
okay so usually i only wear one side of gloves
but today I wore both
(okay, nice to know)
so yep we gotta go somewhere i really want to go out in nature today
finally i feel more energy i want to go out in nature and
just connect with the world again
let's get going
today feels like a day of
breathing and reminiscence and
just calm feels like a time to kind of get back on track
get back into the body
because it's been really busy it really has it's been really busy
yeah we're almost there
thank you for being so patient with me
thank you for going out with me
that's just one of those days where i feel kind of
i feel kind of tired i feel kind of like a little bit energy drained
so i feel like i need to go out into nature and
just reconnect and and feel myself again and
yeah let's spend some time with myself
there's a plane look at that
see the plane
oh someone's gonna come home today
someone's gonna be really happy
that's what's awesome about flying
you go away for awhile
you kind of reorganize yourself a little bit
and then you come home
and refreshed
or you come home to get refreshed
and i love airports
and i also don't really like going to airports because
it's kind of a love and hate relationship
we are here
let's go check it out
oh my god i'm gonna be a mom of three
you know out of honesty i never even thought
i mean i always knew i was going to be a mom but
you never know what's going to happen until it happens
so when i even had kelly i was like
holy smokes i'm going to be a mom
and then you have your second one here like
wow i'm going to be a mother of two how am i going to handle this
because they say when it goes from one to two
it's a lot like a big change
and then people are telling me that when it goes from two to three
it's not much difference
is it true like mums of three can you please tell me
is it not much of a difference
because i hope it's not much of a difference because right now i'm kind of handling it pretty good
but yeah i think it was just so comfortable i was cruising you know with Kelly and Jared
and they're such great kids you know
now all of a sudden like four years down the road
now i'm having my third
yeah i'm feeling a lot better today
because out of honesty like the first
when i found out when i was like around three weeks pregnant
i started feeling really sick
like so sick that i was bed written
and my first trimester like right now is on the
i think it was
my seventh week i started spotting
and that really worried me because i never had it with Kelly and Jared
and then the doctor told me to you know rest more
and you know i started taking some chinese herbs
just to make sure...
that i'm strong enough you know
that everything's going to be okay
and luckily you know i was bedridden for
around like two two weeks
and then now everything's okay again
so thank god that everything's okay
so now i'm coming out
just kind of chilling out here
i'm very happy that god is blessing our family with another family member
but at the same time
i must be honest with you
um there's times when i get scared
because i don't know if i can handle it
i always thought you know having Kelly and Jared was was perfect
It was more than enough and
i could handle it you know one child on each side
and all of a sudden knowing that we will have a third child
it kind of like i'm happy but at the same time it's like kind of scary for me
because it means i have to kind of it feels like you have to start all over again
you have to get used to everything
and then you have to go through the nine month pregnancy
and the delivery process as you all know is very painful
and the same thing i will choose the natural route of
delivering my child
i just really pray that everything will be healthy and smooth
and i think for a lot of mothers out there that have been pregnant before
you know although this pregnancy journey is something very exciting
but it really does bring up feelings of
what ifs
i know i shouldn't be thinking this way but
it's a normal process
it's a normal feeling
like to be kind of like wondering
"oh no can i handle this?"
"how am i gonna manage?"
"wow, how is how are these nine months going to be like?"
when I deliver my child,
how will the delivery be
you know with Kelly it was like 26 hours or something
with Jared it was 18 hours
with his third pregnancy
how long will that take or how painful will that be
you don't want to go through that painful stage
you kind of want to be like ding
and then oh i have a baby goo gaga gaga
you know sometimes i do wish it was like that
you just go
oh I get to...
enjoy the pregnancy
but when it's time for baby to come out you just have to press a little button
and then the baby's in your arms
and you get to you know take care of him or her
so anyway so i actually went online
and i was looking for
trying to prepare myself because i don't know what it feels like to raise a three child family
because i was so comfortable having two
now having three
it honestly it kind of freaks me out a little bit
i don't know if you know what i mean
so i went online and there was a website
saying that a three kid family has completely different dynamics
and that kind of freaked me out too
because they're like completely different dynamics okay
and they're like usually event tickets are sold in four
but you know if you have three
first of all maybe your car won't be able to fit
all these booster seats right in car seats
and then when you go to a restaurant you probably have to wait longer
because usually if it's four people on a table
it's quicker to get
but you want five people you have to wait a bit longer
so what you have to have in mind is that
before you might have had enough hands to hold each of your children's hands
but now you have to know that you're gonna have two kids to hold
while pushing a stroller at the same time
i'm like how am i gonna do that
how am i gonna do that
i think as you all know i'm a very hands-on mom
and i do everything on my own
and his is the way i would always choose
i wanna take care of my own kids
i wanna be there for them
i wanna give them equal time
let's see
what else does it say
so it just means that Jared and Kelly are gonna really have to learn
how to rely on each other more
i'm gonna have to learn how to find time for each child
i'm thinking when baby comes out
they're gonna be waking up every two hours right
and the first week is going to be every hour
second or third week is going to be every two hours probably
so i'm gonna have to remember that
i don't want my kids to be neglected
so i'm gonna have to make sure i give them extra snuggles
while waking up at two four six eight
so anyone that has three kids
please let me know what this feeling is going to be like
because i have no clue
i've been just so comfortable with two kids right now
that knowing that i'm gonna have three is kind of like
"whoa what's gonna happen this is very overwhelming,
i need to get my perspective back"
i know i can handle things
god will not let you handle things that you can't handle
so this is really good online it says
"you are a mama of three because you can do this."
okay
because you have this much love in your heart
because you believe in yourself,
your partner
and this family
it's true
so you're gonna have to care for yourself
tend to your marriage
and be responsible for three little ones
it can be a lot
there will be a lot of chaos
and you'll be more tired than you believed possible
but enjoy it
okay okay i'll do that
um
let's see is there anything else in here
there's oh and there's not much about having three kids eh
wow
it's all good
yeah
it's normal to not be ready
because you'll never be ready
you'll never be ready
even with the first child i felt this way,
with my second child i felt this way
but in the end it always works out
yeah like life just keeps on moving and
life just keeps on
giving you things that you can handle
but you at that moment don't know if you can yet
so when you think in the future you start
having a little bit of doubts about yourself
and you know you start getting a little bit scared
like oh my god can i do it
i just repeated that like so many times "can i handle this"
i don't know if i can handle i seriously at this moment
i think i'm like can i handle three kids i really don't know
but i know it's gonna be so fun because
Kelly and Jared are so excited
they're so happy
and they're already like trying to think of a name for the baby
they're like i'll help you
then they're like mommy rest more i know you can't pick me up anymore
because i'm too heavy
you know they're so cute
and my husband's ecstatic
he's always wanted three
now his dream has come true
yeah
can you believe it
i'm gonna be a mom of three
i'm serious i'm really human
i have fears too
i have self-doubts too you know
i'm sure after i don't feel pukey
i don't feel too fatigued
i get my energy back and not so hormonal
when everything, my body is getting back into a normal kind of state
and i get used to it
then i'm gonna be really cool again
because i remember my second trimester is always the funnest
it's always the one where
i'm really strong really happy and i feel like i can conquer the world
for every first trimester that i had
or i mean only had two other ones
for every for the two first trimesters that i've experienced with Kelly and Jared
it's always being kind of like you know like gloomy and
tired and weak and nauseous and gross
there's days that i actually have like a garbage can beside my bed
i'm like oh my god i'm gonna throw up
so i've been using prunes
like some ginger
eating some premium crackers and toast
having some you know apples and stuff like that to make myself
feel better and making sure that i don't go hungry
because every time i go hungry i feel sick
i feel so nauseous
so grossed out
oh my god
so anyways i'm talking way too much again
so there you go my first trimester
what i've been feeling
what's been going on
see you later alligator
thank you from the bottom of my heart
for liking my video
and i'll keep you updated
bye bye
let's go home
so in a couple months am i gonna start looking like
this like walking like this