(Wha-psh) Top of the mornin' to ya laddies,
my name is Jacksepticeye and welcome to a site called "damn, dog"
well, damn dot dog, I don't know why it's called that
this is a game where you guess what-a the title of a WikiHow article is.
if you don't know what WikiHow is, they have WikiHow's on EVERYTHING.
like, how to-
how to clean the inside of your pen.
how- how to shove a USB stick drive up your booter hole!
so, they have a wiki for everything, and it's kind of a meme at this point, how they have...
for everything, that's why this site was created and-
I remember seeing Felix put this in a video somewhere
here or there or somewhere, I can't remember
and it looked like it was fun! so I thought I'd do a video on it
uhm, so I have to guess what the titles of each of these are based on the pictures
but they give me a nice little um,
a nice little list of four that I get to choose from
so..
"How To...
"How To Not Get Arrested While Skateboarding,"
"How To Fart Quietly" (laughs)
"How To Be A World Citizen" and "How To Get Rid Of An Unwanted Erection"
oh, God, it could be any of these!
okay.
I'm gonna get rid of the "How Not To Get Arrested While Skateboarding"
'cus I feel like he might be a bit better with that
"Hard To- How To Fart Quietly" I'm hoping it's this one because he has a big red X
and he's goin',
"YEESSS!!"
(prolonged fart sounds)
so that's probably what's happening so-
he's FAILING at how to fart quietly, actually
"How to be a world citizen", no, "How to get rid of an unwanted erection"
YEEEEES, ERECTION!!!! *laughs*
Uh, "Fart Quietly"
Nope, "How to get rid of an Unwanted Erection" *laughs*
*inhale* He's just standing there like
Iiiii!
Have an erection, everybody! *giggle*
Oh, I'm glad it was that one
Ok- oh jesus christ, what the hell is this
"How to survive domestic violence"
"How to act like sonic the hedgehog"
"How to make your boyfriend break up with you" and "How to win a tickle war"
Are you gonna win a tickle war with a fucking chili dog?
Of course that's Sonic, she's eating a chili dog!
That's right
Why do you have a WikiHow, on how to act like Sonic???
Plus, you should have GOT TO GO FAST
Okay.
This is a guy, thinking about murdering his friend,
who uses too many emojis
I feel that.
(stuttering) I..I.. I associate with this man.
Not only that-
But he has the same facial hair as I do.
His is actually better
(reading) ''How to deal with a sarcastic person,''
(still reading) ''How to clear a stuffed nose,''
Yeah that's definitely clearing a stuffy nose.
(reading again) ''How to play bridge''
or "How to be sexually empowered..?!?!''
(laughs)
That's how you become sexually empowered, everybody.
send a SHIT ton of emojis.
Sarcastic person.
Yeah.
Okay.
That one was a bit easy.
UHM.
god.
How to have....
(jumpcut, with more energy) How to use telepathy to get rid of your indigestion.
That's what I'm-
*unintellegible noises*
How to get rid of an alien in your belly.
(reading) ''How to win at arm wrestling..?''
Definitely looks like he's arm wrestling right there.
''How to be a successful teenager..?''
''How to fart quietly or disappear like a ninja.''
THIS one is the farting quietly.
see, you use telepathy to move the fart from your stomach into your brain-
and then it comes out as a THOUGHT FART
I have a SHIT ton of thought farts everyday
How to fart quietly.
(whispered) perfect.
(still whispered) perfect.
GOT IT.
ooOOOOH-
How to be egoraptor-
and play a badass devil guitar.
*laugh*
It does look like Arin.
uh.
(reading) ''How to tell a lie without being caught.''
I'm NOT LYING!!!!!!!
*laugh*
(reading) ''How to pull an all nighter,''
(reading) ''How to relax when you are sick''
or (reading) ''How to heal broken bones.''
wHAT?!
''How to relax when you're sick-''
play your devil guitar.
''How to heal broken bones.''
''How to relax while you're.. when you are sick.''
what the f-
'hOW TO PULL AN ALL NIGHTER.''
that HAS to be how to pull an all nighter.
cos' he just has a sHIT TON OF ENERGY that he has to get out-
I feel that, bro.
of course that's right.
it's not fucking healing broken bones.
oh gOD.
WHY DID YOU PICK THAT UP?
How to properly dispose of your dog's shit.
(reading) ''How to be a true hip hop artist.''
th-*laugh*
Are you saying something, wikiHOW? or damn.dog?
That hip-hop, is sHIT in your hands?
''How to cure daffodil bulbs''...
''How to cure daffodil bulbs for replanting?''
''How to find a husband when the women outnumber the men in your country.''
*giggle*
poo!
That's how!
''How to trick people into thinking your possessed.''
wait, what?
(sudden realisation) oh.
This is probably the daffodil bulbs.
(while laughing) ''How to trick people into thinking you're possessed.''
Does this smell like shit to you?
*laugh*
Bulbs for replanting-
Yeah.
Okay.
*laugh*
This is fun!
oh god.
*laughs*
(in deep voice) "hey."
'I have such a huge,'
'lady erection'
'for you right now.'
'don't fuckin' tell me'
'I have one too'
'did you see that guy over there?'
''How to be a stripper who knows what she's doing!'' *laugh*
''How to avoid creating a weak villain.''
''How to kick out a dangerous roommate" or "How to dress up like a hillbilly.''
Kick out a dangerous roommate!
'you are so, fucking OUT OF THIS HOUSE!'
'don't you fUCKING TELL ME I'M OUT OF THIS HOUSE!'
'you're OUTTA THIS HOUSE'
'but i'm the one paying rent.'
no?!
''How to be a stripper who knows what she's doing!''
wHAT?!
WHY?
'listen to me'
'i'm gonna teach ya'
'i'm gonna show you the ropes right now'
'you're gonna swing around that pole'
''oh yes swing around that pole'
"swing around that pole"
'like you fucking know what you do"
*laugh*
How is that correlate to anything that just happen?
Okay.
Wow
right, okay
how to play devil's adcat-advocate with emojis
this is the right and the wrong, er the wrong and the right side
what do we got? "how to sue for emotional distress"
"how to create a benefit concert series"
"how to tell if a church is a cult" or "how to be brave"
that's how you'd be brave, just yell at your fucking conscience
this is, definitely "how to sue for emotional distress"
'cause we're on like, podiums
and this is like a, his thoughts
I mean, it's very close between emotional distress or, tell if a church is a cult,
LA-LA NOT LISTENING
They are a cult, I SWEAR!
um, emotional distress
(disbelieving tone) WHAT
I thought you're going for, like, the whole coutroom, sue thing
emotional distress
this guy's obviously distressed
this is how to be BRAVE!
how is that how to be brave?
think about your inner demons and then yell at them until they submit to your will
actually, that's pretty good *laugh*
(reading) what is the title of this WikiHow article?"
should I buy this suitcase, or this dog
i dont know, maybe i should buy the scale that I'm weighting these on
(reading) "how to live in peace"
a nice balance between work and socia- between work and daily life!
"how to cosplay as spongebob"
close
"how to choose a puppy"
and "how to decide if you should become a stripper"
*laugh*
see
the last one was so ridiculous, that this could be it well
should I-should I invest in dogs?
or put all my bounds in strippers?
Um
I was going to say "live in peace" 'cause it always work out perfectly between work and, um,
just like, your home life with your dog
but "how to choose a puppy"
Imma go with "how to live in peace"
"how to choose a puppy"
I thought they're gonna be a bit more subtle
a bit more in depth about things
I mean that was the obvious choice, that's why I didn't pick it!
"how to choose a puppy"
between what, a puppy or a suitcase?
yeah, that like, EXACTLY, what I started out the same
Ok, I fucking terrible at this
How to run away from a molester
how to run away from Lester the molester
or How to survive Attack on Titan
*chuckle*
(reading) "how to keep a straight face" "how to succed in a relationship with a perfect girl"
yeah, chase her
(reading) "how to talk to girls as a teen boy" "how to run away from home"
Imma just have to go away with "run away from home" based on
-just based on the visuals I'm being presented with
"how to keep a straight face" you're fucking failing miserably,
both of you
"how to talk to girl as a teen boy"
(in high voice) LET ME LOVE YOU! CAN I TOUCH YOUR BOOBS?
that's not how you talk to girls as a teenage boy
you talk to them the same way you talk with every person
politely
diligently
and nicely
and NORMALLY!
"how to run away from home"
Nope, "how to succeed in a relationship with a perfect girl"
I-I feel like I'm, ha-did I take pills today?
or did I take the wrong ones?
because fuck me, these are all over the place
*laugh*
how to annoy the shit of your girlfriend by acting like a six year old
*blowing noise*
bla-bla-bla-bla bla-bla
(in girl voice) GODdammit Steve I swear to god if you do this one more time in public
i just gonna have to- I'm just gonna have to go out with Chad
from now on
(while laughing) " how to get your nipples pierced"
okay.
*laughing*
We're gonna grab both your boobs and then we just gonna go *blowing noises*
and then pierced the shit out of them
alright, are you, serious right now?
(reading) "how to survive domestic violence"
how to-"how to be laid back" and "how to clear a stuffy nose"
oh, i thought this is gonna be an easy game
"how to survive domestic violence" or "how to be laid back"
'cause this dude looks like he's been laid back as fuck
a bit too laid back, mind you
but, he's bordering on the obnoxious side of laid back,
or "how to survive domestic violence"
because, I-I'd feel like I was being attacked if I were you
right now, I just came out to wear a nice curtain
and i feel SO attacked right now
um, "how to be laid back"
that's right!
"how to be laid back", act like a fucking four year old and annoy the shit of everyone around you
*chuckle*
oh
see, the WikiHow article is so weird 'cause the art is so inconsistent
Why?
this look like something from Fairy OddParents
how to be- wait, we should guess right now
How...
how to be highed up on meth,
and telepathically tell Steve that you want his pen to write down
how much meth you need
*chuckle*
(reading) "how to be the type of nerd that girls love"
(reading) "how to love your girlfriend"
(reading) "how to understand heterosexual people"
(reading) "how to get along with your crush
ok, just-just
take a moment for yourselves
just sit back
relax
think long and hard
take in this picture
are- are they in a cave, or something?
take in the picture and just read this again
I'm not crazy, right?
That, this has nothing got to do with what the hell is going on?
*laugh* "how to be the type of nerd that girls love"
yeah, that may be it
- but you dont like a nerd, at least not the stereotypical nerd
that you'd like to potrait, but she's look like she's in love right now
that, or she's mid sneeze
this one
nope
"how to get along with your crush"
(softly) i dont fucking know
Oh, Jesus! Christ!
how to photoshopped your baby so it doesnt look like a demon anymore
*laugh*
What the hell is that!?
Oh my god!
(reading) "how to survive a cold winter"
sure, why not
"how to trick other people to think that you're possessed"
"how to write a dystopian novel" "how to start an Indie lifestyle"
possessed
WHAT, THAT NOT POSSESSION!??
"How to write a dystopian novel"
WHat
How the FUCK
can you learn how to write a dystopian novel
by, um, PHOTOSHOPPING things?
this is clearly an art program, with the brushes and everything
You dont write with ART!
the, um, the fucking, the person who writes the books doesn't create the art on the front of 'em
not always!
"how to write a dytopian novel"
i was full sure that was tricking people into thinking your possessed by going
"HEY! Look a my baby picture! This is proof that i was possessed as a child!"
you're with me on this, right? I'm not batshit crazy!
ok, oh my god
how to tricking people into thinking that you're Kim Kardashian
(reading) "how to be a punk" "how to win a tickle war"
"how to be on reality TV show" OH, or a trophy wife
Oh, it's trophy wife, is't it?
Oh
"how to win a tickle war"
put a big celebrity star, thing, on your face and then,
NOBODY know who you are and you just tickle away
"how to be a pun- This dog has seen some shit
this dog is listening to this conversation
he's looking out, he's breaking that fourth wall, he's looking right at you, and he's saying,
"Please kill me"
he knows the shit that they talking abou- how to be a trophy wife
*clap*
YES!
That's the one i get right!?
REALLY?
Ok, last one
*laugh*
How to win a chinese burn-off
you know, like, or the indian burn
actually, over here we call them, chinese burns
but I always heard them on TV called indian burns
which one any- you know how you get your friend's arm and you twisted it like that
and you kinda leave, like, a red mark?
well, what you guys called them?
Um
Okay, I- um, I'd
you guys could be doing any sort of thing,
where's this- where's this arms going?
(reading) "how to impress people" "how to be unique" "how to make a friend fall in love with you"
"how to be good at knife fighting"
That's looks like a knife fight, actually
I didn't think about it before, but now that you're saying it
there's a lot of red going on
you guys are- CLEARLY,
like,
out of breath
you could've knife underneath that part of the picture,
just, Tink-TinK-Tink
or "how to impress people",
'HEy Steve, check my hand, wa-watch this, *loud sound*
he's just about to fucking backslap across the back of hishead
um, or he could make his friend, Chad, fall in love with him
that could very easy be that- I'm going to go with knife fighting
'cause I'm gonna, give you guys the benefit of doubt
That's RIGHT!
how to be good at knife- at knife fighting
could'nt you tell?
*laugh*
*cough cough*
Well, I'm gonna leave this episode of- *unintelligible noises*
I wonder what i call this, damn dog? or WikiHo-guess the WikiHow article
or whatever
This was suprisingly fun!
after seeing what it was, and then thinking, oh god, would that actually make a good video?
i decided to try it out
'cause a lot of the times when i record these things i dont know if it going to turn into something good
I dont know if they're gonna turn into something entertaining
so, by the time I started it,
there's a lot of the stuff I've recorded that you have never seen
that I've never seen the light of days 'cause my brain through and I'm like this is shit
So, this turn out WAY more fun than I'd thought It'd be!
Th-the fun in these, is seeing how ridiculous the picture is,
coming up with your own one
and then seeing how ridiculous the ones actually are
and then having no idea what's it gonna be and then just laughing at the outcome
Oh! So much fun! i might do another one of these, actually
if you guys think that they're funny
I-I thought that this is a fucking- a HOOT!
*laugh*
anyway, THANK YOU GUYS so much for watching this video
if you like it, PUNCH that like button in its stupid face!
LIKE A BOOOSSS!
And, high five all around *Wha-psh Wha-psh*
Thank you guys and I'll see all you dudes, *in higher pitch* IN THE NEXT VIDEOOO!
*outro music*
how to pretend like you dont need glasses!
*laughs*