[Laughter]
Can I get your guys opinion on something?
Which photo is cuter?
Okay, I see you girl. Love the dress.
Oh wait. I think you're accidently zoomed in.
[Dramatic Gasp]
Should I just make it a carousel?
[Inaudible]
You're gonna hard launch him?!
I want to what him?
Hard launch
You know like...
make it IG official.
Mel, don't you remember... Charlie?
Yeah. Walmart Kim Soo-Hyun.
Abby warned me about hard launching but did I listen?
No.
And to this day, my family still won't stop bringing him up.
Look,
you guys are doing great today,
but what if you break up tomorrow because, I don't know—
he calls you "Mommy" or
won't shut up about NFTs
Or you find out he's a furry.
And you known at first you're a little weirded out but
you know what?
You're open minded, you're chill.
You've always been Team Jacob.
But now, it's been over a month and he still won't take it off
no matter how many time you ask.
So all your photos end up being of you and a f*cking wolf
and you being the dumbass that you are
decides to post one as a quirky anniversary picture
and first you were like "haha funny" but it ended up being more "haha weird"
and now people won't stop sending you sexualized cartoon animals.
Exactly.
The possibilities are endless.
We just don't want you to go through the pain of deleting all those photos
and answering a million and one questions when things go south.
Think of it like this...
you wouldn't release a whole movie without some marketing first right?
I do like trailers.
Okay,
what you suggest then?
Welcome to my Ted Talk.
My name is Bianca
and today I have the pleasure of introducing to you
to the future of modern dating.
It's the commitment
without the commitment.
Introducing....
Soft Launching
Oooo. Ahhhhh.
The key is to keep your audience guessing.
Whose hand is that?
Why aren't they tagged?
Who could it possibly be?
Is that a friend in the background
or...
you know who?
And don't get me started on captions.
It's an art form just like poetry.
My favorite view.
Eyes emoji, eyes emoji,
eye emoji.
Field.
[Music]
The end.
[Applause]
[Just like I remembered it]
Better every time!
[Phone notification]
Got it.
Great.
Well...
Happy one month anniversary.
Do you want to take a photo together?
No, it's okay. I got it. Thanks babe!
One, two... three!
Mom! Do we have any photos of grandpa?