Marriage is objectively a bad deal for men in 2024.
What I would consider a bad deal is where the risk outweighs the reward.
What I would consider a successful marriage is an obedient wife
and staying together for a lifetime.
To put it simply, men want sex, silence, and sandwiches
from a woman they are attracted to.
Unfortunately, women are not offering that in 2024.
That was Hannah Pearl Davis or just Pearly Things on YouTube.
She's created a name for herself in the incel community by essentially
trashing women and uplifting men.
But in my opinion, she isn't helpful to either sex.
Whether she's talking about women or men, she gives terrible advice.
She seems to have a terrible view of men, essentially chalking them up to nothing
more than sex obsessed individuals who don't care about any
of the substance that any woman has and just want them to make a sandwich.
She leans into every single stereotype, and she goes around giving people advice,
even though she herself is not married, has never been married,
and does not have kids.
She recently got destroyed in a recent debate with a gentleman named Trent Horn.
I'm not very familiar with him, but he does put out,
content on YouTube to educate people about the Catholic religion.
So he is a religious individual, but I think he absolutely crushed it
in this debate.
So Pearl's hypocrisy was so brazen that a viewer of the debate
brutally called her out for it.
To put it simply, men want silence.
Unfortunately, women are not offering that in 2024.
That marriage is a bad deal for men and steals their happiness.
That's just not true. In fact, marriage is the best.
You can't interrupt when I'm talking.
Have you heard a girl lament that her boyfriend.
She'd love to get married, but her boyfriend doesn't want to get married,
or he's dragging his feet?
How many times have you?
Can't interrupt him until the time is over.
Why would it?
Because what you're saying is that the heart.
For example.
- Let me. - Finish.
Men marry women that have participated in porn.
I would say that that's definitely a red flag.
But it is not a necessarily. It's not a deal breaker, son.
I can answer the questions because you can keep asking questions
and I'll never answer because I just by Taylor and social media.
Another one in another one by Taylor social media Taylor done.
- In 2011. - Media.
I would like to finish these happy, healthy men who get married.
The majority of them, they lose their happiness.
Do you have a study that shows that because I let me finish, should
we look to to determine the standard of whether marriage is a good.
Let me finish whether marriage is a good deal.
Okay, okay.
That amazing video was put together by, Milk Bar TV. So I want to give them credit
for putting it together.
I also want to just state that in the, you know, interest of saving time.
I actually had to cut that video of her interrupting her
debate partner down by a lot.
I mean, she goes from saying that, you know, women should just shut up and make a
sandwich to just incessantly interrupting her debate partner during this debate.
And I thought it was just so funny.
And so I wanted to give you that context to help you understand
why some of the audience members watching the debate clowned on her.
Let's watch Pearl as a woman who campaigns for the general disregarding of female
prominence, what is to stop you from taking your own advice and being quiet?
Finally, where is your husband?
Why are you so disagreeable, abrasive, and unpleasant while lamenting
the very same traits in other women?
- I'm actually. - Quite polite.
Are you? Are you though?
We're about to see how polite she is in just a minute, pausing.
Here to deliver some honest truth, as we do in our news coverage as well.
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Well, look, I also want to just state that everyone involved
in this conversation is conservative.
And I think one of the mistakes that I personally made was just kind of lumping
all conservatives together as individuals who want women to be quiet, right, to be
submissive to their husbands, to have this unequal dynamic in the household.
That was a mistake that I made, because clearly,
as you're about to see from the debate, there are certainly conservatives who view
marriage as the type of partnership that I think helps marriages thrive.
Right?
And they push back against people like Pearl, which I'm really happy to see
and look for anyone who is taking Pearl's advice to heart.
Please don't, because she's hurting you, right?
If you're actually taking what she's saying seriously, you might end up denying
yourself the kind of wonderful partnership that I really wish for everyone
because it enriches your life.
If you find the right partner, it really does make everything else
in life better, I promise you that.
So let's get into the nitty gritty here.
Let's talk about what Pearl thinks of women today,
and why she doesn't think that men really get a great deal out of marriage.
What benefits are given to men in marriage? 100 years ago,
men would have gotten a debt free version who gave him four plus children
and was expected to obey him.
Unfortunately, now modern marriage is simply poor management.
The majority of women are not known to be obedient wives.
How do we know this?
From one, we have phrases like it's cheaper to keep her
and happy wife happy life.
If women were so obedient and good wives, why are all of the phrases focused
on bending to the will of the woman?
On top of that, we can look at women's choices during marriage.
Some common problems that I have found is that women gain a
significant amount of weight in marriage.
On average, women gain 24 pounds within the first five years of marriage.
It would be one thing if women were giving men four plus children like they
were 100 years ago, but on average, women give men 1 to 2 children.
The other issue we have is sexless marriages.
When we look at the boomer generation, a third of them are in sexless marriages.
How many, many men have reported that women stop sleeping with them
after they have children?
Listen, Pearl, like you haven't been married, so I. It's okay.
I understand why you don't get it, but like.
This is why people enter marriages so they don't have to have sex anymore.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Obviously, if you watch this show regularly,
you know that's not the case, okay?
But she's she's got a lot
of strong thoughts on what men fail to get
out of a marriage because the modern woman is no longer a mayor,
no longer a virgin when she gets married.
Well, people do get married later in life.
I got married when I was 30. I think it'd be a little bit weird
if I were a virgin at 30, but.
Okay.
She talks about how much weight they gain, but then demands that they have
as many as four children and what their body doesn't change from doing.
So. Does she have any idea what having children is like?
And more importantly, what happens to men and their bodies when they get married?
I mean, are they all svelte and working out?
No, you get into a relationship and a lot of people do get comfortable,
and you could also help each other, motivate each other to get healthy.
But I do want to go to Trent Hawn's response because,
he had some observations of his own.
Pearl can't use these stats to dunk on women because men are also
worse than previous generations.
Modern men are just as promiscuous and are even more overweight than modern women.
A 2019 experience study found that men carry more credit,
auto and mortgage debt than women.
Millennial and Gen Z men have weaker grip strength and make less money
than older men did at their age.
Pearl has not shown that women are not good enough for men.
Instead, the data shows men and women are both in bad shape
compared to previous generations.
But there's hope.
Marriage is the best way for men and women to mature together
and bring out the best in one another.
Look, I don't really want this to be a segment where we're like,
oh, which sex is worse, men or women?
Let's bash, you know, one side or the other.
No, that's not the point. The point that I want to make.
And what he said at the very end of that clip is the most important point,
that if you have a healthy perspective on what a marriage is, you see it as a way of
growing together and improving together.
It's about building a life together and sharing that life with a partner.
And that's one of the most wonderful things that I've had the privilege
of experiencing in my life, which, by the way, I used to have
a super negative perspective on marriage.
I thought it was useless. I didn't think I'd ever get married.
I didn't think it was going to enrich me. I thought, no, no, it's all about career.
It's all about being an independent woman.
And that's also something that gives you some sense of purpose
and it can be fulfilling.
But I don't want anyone to deny themselves, you know, a marriage
or a meaningful relationship because they believe or have bought
into all these ridiculous stereotypes that are being uttered by individuals
who have never been married, like Pearl.
Okay.
Now, what Trent Horn said there about couples growing together is what I loved.
And unlike Pearl, he himself is married, with children.
And, you know, Pearl doesn't have the experience of a marriage, which
doesn't necessarily mean that you should never be able to weigh in on marriage, but
it's just weird that she has such strong declarative statements about who benefits
the most for marriage, when she herself doesn't really seem to know much about it,
and about that divorce rate.
I think it's important to weigh in on that as well, because Pearl argues that,
you know, there's a 50% chance that the marriage isn't going to make it
kind of tapping into this myth that 50% of marriages end in divorce.
And as Trent Horn is about to explain, that narrative is misleading,
to say the least.
Pearl exaggerates the harms of marriage and ignores the harms of not marrying.
For example, according to the National Center for Family and Marriage Research,
the median length of all marriages is not 7 to 8 years.
As Pearl often claims.
That's the length of marriages that end in divorce, not all marriages.
The median length for all marriages is 21 years, and the divorce rate
is closer to 35%, not 50%. 50% was a future projection from the from the 80s
that has since been falsified.
In fact, we are now seeing the lowest divorce rates since 1970
about 14 divorces per 1000 married women.
That's right.
I mean, a lot of people don't know that, but the divorce rate
has dropped significantly.
And I think part of the reason why is because people are waiting
a little longer to get married.
You know, when you're super young, if you're like 20 years old and you get
married, just know that you are not going to be the same person when you're 25.
You're not going to be the same person when you're 30. So you might.
The likelihood of growing apart increases the younger you get married doesn't mean
that the marriage isn't going to work.
There are people who get married, you know, they meet as high school
sweethearts, or they start dating as high school sweethearts.
Then they end up getting married.
And their total actually, no couples like that.
So it's definitely possible.
But it is also true that the divorce rate has dropped significantly.
And look for the type of culture
that Pearl is advocating for here.
Basically the whole tradwife type mentality.
There are some vulnerabilities there.
If you know you have bought into that and you think that's the best way to go,
I would maybe proceed with caution and learn about what someone
like Lauren Southern went through.
I mean, she was a huge, huge supporter and advocate of that trad life.
Right?
And then she entered a marriage like that and it ended up not working out for her.
And we did talk about this a little bit on the show fairly recently,
but I just feel like we didn't get into it enough because it takes a lot of courage
to kind of build this persona.
As someone who advocates for something, then you experience
what you advocated for and you realize, oh my God, I was totally wrong.
And then you start speaking out against it.
That is not an easy thing to do.
And so whatever you think about Lauren Southern, you have to, in this specific
case, give her credit for being willing to deal with the kind of backlash she's
dealing with for speaking out against, you know, that trad life that some
on the right have been advocating for.
You know, she got married, when she was 22 years old.
She thought that as long as I put on the high heels and the lipstick
when my husband comes home, as long as I cook the best meal, as long as I'm always
submissive and I say, yes, sir, whatever you want, things will go fantastic.
But that wasn't the case.
He actually ended up being according to her, we've heard her side of the story,
not his, but according to what she's saying.
You know, he was emotionally abusive, would lock her out of the house.
Eventually she wanted to go back to Canada and see her family.
And he left. He left her, after she had done that.
And she's been, you know, speaking out about her experience ever since.
And so.
Find the right freaking person for you, okay?
Don't listen to anyone who wants to have these, like, weird expectations
and standards for one sex or the other.
Everyone.
There's I believe that there's someone out there for everyone, and the the
real like battle is finding the person who complements you as an individual.
Go out there and find that person if you haven't already.
Because again, I really do think sharing your life with someone and having mutual
respect for one another is one of the most incredible things you experience in life.
So, watch that debate. I thought it was amazing.
It was a two hour long debate.
Obviously we couldn't get into all of it, but I think it was a good example
of a conservative pushing back against another conservative who's trying
to appeal to the incel community.
I don't know how sincere Pearl is in the things that she's saying.
I think she sounds ridiculous, and I don't think she has the expertise
or the experience to espouse the kinds of views that she's espousing,
but that's not going to stop her.
Thanks for watching The Young Turks really appreciate it.
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