hello welcome back to my channel my name is Li Mei or Caitlin um it's nice to see you
here I have a very exciting video today um it is 20 lessons that I learned in my teens slash
things that I think you should know for your teenage years um today is my 20th birthday
when I'm posting this video not today when I'm filming um and yeah I just wanted to share some
things that I've learned and wish that I had implemented a little bit earlier on in my life
let's get into it number one is try your best. In my opinion and personal experience
effort really pays off like you know here a lot of people say like "C's get degrees" I mean it's
funny it's definitely a big mood sometimes but like it is worth putting effort into uni and
stuff like "minimum wage equals minimum effort" the thing is that effort gets noticed by people
generally who are older than you but people who have connections
oh pEoPle WHo haVe cOnNEcTions anD pOwEr but like seriously when it comes to getting a promotion
getting a good reference for your next job um getting recognition in an academic sense at uni
all that stuff, effort really does make the difference between you and the next person.
Number two is good friends are invaluable do not let them slip past you and never ever take
them for granted honestly like I feel like our society makes a really big deal out of romantic
partners and like yes romantic partners can be really important and a really good support system
but friends will always be by your side and good friends are worth their weight in gold
so show them that you appreciate them and make the most of the time that you have together
following up on that number three is that some friends will come and go and it's okay
um you're not going to be friends with everyone you're not going to like everyone that you meet
um and some people you might have been friends with at one point um but just the way that
you've grown and developed you're not quite right for each other and don't fit like that anymore
um you don't have to force friendships that don't work like they used to um but in saying
that if you're having problems with a friend and it is a friendship and relationship that
you value then it's absolutely worth talking to them figuring out whatever it is that's going on
because you don't want to lose them number four don't talk trash talking crap about people
is not a hobby it's not a personality trait and should not be a full-time job
I feel as if I shouldn't have to say that but I do because I've experienced this with people that
I've been around and I don't like being around that sort of environment it just makes you feel
if they're talking badly about people to you then what's to say they're not talking badly
about you to other people I just think that it's extremely disrespectful and often unnecessary.
Also there is a difference between healthy venting to let out a problem that involves you and
is taking up a lot of your emotional space and impacting your mental well-being and just talking
and gossiping about people's lives and making fun of them behind their back for no good reason on
the topic of friendships and relationships and support systems something that you might realize
in your teens is that your parents are actually cool and can be way more like a part of your life
in a sort of friendship support system capacity than you realized before it's very easy to be like
I hate my parents they don't let me do anything blah blah um nine times out of ten they have
your best interest at heart and as you grow older you'll often realize and see that um most of the
time they did know what they were talking about and you probably shouldn't have gone to that party
um and they can actually be really cool people to hang out with number six is try new things try new
things this is your time to try new things as much as like yes school and uni are important
trying new things figuring out what you like figuring out what you don't like whether that's in
terms of hobbies sports whether that's in terms of careers like if you think you want to go into IT
like get a job at a computer store or like if you're looking into like being a professional
athlete like try taking it seriously try it if you don't like it then at least you know number seven
is failure is inevitable this sounds very cliché but it is true you will fail at things
you will be bad at things you will be good at other things and you'll succeed at other things
but don't let failure stop you from trying again if it's something that you enjoy you don't have
to be good at it and if it's something that you think you might enjoy nobody starts off
super good at a hundred percent of the stuff that they try so I beg you don't think that
I'm a failure I'm a terrible person I'm never gonna be able to do anything that I want just
because you failed once or failed twice or failed three times the important thing is not how many
times you failed but oh my gosh this is so cringe but like the important thing is if you keep going
I hate everything that I just said but I stand by it okay number eight this is a really big one in
my opinion um the moral of life is not uni above everything okay uni is a totally cool and like
valid pathway if that's what you're interested in but uni is so expensive it's so much time
it is emotionally draining especially if you're not studying something that you like
so I'm telling you if you have the option to make that choice for yourself um and you're
not sure take a break take a gap year I took a gap year and I'm in uni now and I love it
and I really think that if I'd gone straight from school into uni I don't... I don't know if I would
enjoy it as much as I do um and it's just it's just too much of a commitment and investment to be
doing if you're not fully sure about it so take a gap year if you're not sure pursue something else
pursue a trade pursue an artistic career um try and get into the industry you're looking at um
it doesn't have to all be straight to uni speaking about work number nine is that work does not have
to equal your life's purpose humans were not put on this earth in my personal opinion to work that
that is not why we exist we have to work that is inevitable because otherwise you will not survive
um but that doesn't have to be the center of your life that doesn't have to be your
only personality trait um I just think that people need to be reminded that sometimes
number 10 we're at the halfway point I would just like to say that your body is the least
interesting thing about you it is it is so unimportant it is not what makes you
you special like unique it is not why people like you I hope if the if your body is the only
reason that people like you they're the wrong people to be around um I can say that with 100%
certainty but what really makes you special is your thoughts, your opinions, your values,
your talents, the things you enjoy, the foods you don't like, those sort of things don't let this
idea that beauty is the pinnacle of everything and that bodies are extremely important they
are important but they shouldn't be um and the way that society tells us they are um don't let
that stop you from enjoying your life on the same vein number 11 my favorite number by the way um
while your body is not the most important thing about you it is still so important to treat it
well and with respect and look after your body if you look after your body it will allow you to do
so many more things because your body is your vessel for like life and existence um the main
reason I'm saying this is because I think New Zealand has a really unhealthy drinking culture
um alcohol is a drug as well as other illegal drugs they're really bad for you
I'm just putting that out there and obviously alcohol is extremely normalized
in um New Zealand society and in most of the world um but that doesn't mean that you have to drink
at all or drink to an extent that people might expect you to um I really urge you to do a bit
of research about the impacts of alcohol on your health and well-being including mental well-being
it's a depressant and can make depression and anxiety worse um just look into it be
informed about the decisions you're making so number 12 my mum always said to me you're
not allowed to date until you leave high school and it was never really like a massive problem
I was never like oh my gosh I really like this person like I want to go out with them um but
I think that that was a really good rule um your teens are not really the time to be
focusing so much attention and energy and thought and consideration into another person
um it's a time to be putting all that thought and consideration reflection investment and
your hobbies your like the things you enjoy the things you want to learn like for yourself I don't
know I can't explain it any more than that but I do firmly believe that like there is no need
to be dating anyone when you're in your early and mid teens-ish it's not a hard and fast rule it's
just something to think about and number 13 in correlation with that is have high standards when
you do decide today when you want to date someone set your standards high to the roof to the ceiling
as high as can be because you'd you deserve so much more than the bare minimum because let's be
honest the standards for men are extremely low I'm sorry but it's true that's the way it is like just
if a partner is something that you want be willing to wait for someone who is
good and treats you well and makes you feel so special and all of that stuff there's no scarcity
of people in the world there's so many people in the world and there are ones out there who will
treat you as you deserve um don't settle there's no rush you have your whole life
keep your standards high I think that one of the most important qualities and values that
you can have as a person number 14 is integrity integrity is holding yourself to a standard of
behavior even when nobody else is watching so that you know at the end of the day that
you acted in a way that you're proud of and don't know how to explain it but be honest with yourself
be honest with other people have integrity and act in a way that you would if you were in front
of other people even when you're on your own and nobody would know another big one especially with
all of the information that we're receiving from people, media sources, social media, parents,
friends, siblings um ask why always ask why there's a reason for everything okay um and use
that why use the understanding that you grasp to form your own opinions you don't have to believe
something just because that's what you always believed you're allowed to change your mind um
changing your mind is a good thing it means that you're open to other perspectives and learning new
information and taking that on board rather than being closed off and just having one point of view
um and sticking with it because you're too proud to say otherwise um ask why all the time and form
your own opinions number 16 is kind of similar to last one but you're allowed to change your mind
you are allowed to change your mind whenever you want just because you decided something in the
past that determined your future if that is not the best path for your life and the thing that's
going to lead you to where you want to be change your mind this is just a really specific thing
that happened to me um I changed my mind even though I was like I've already told everyone
that I'm doing this and I've already decided that this is the path my life is gonna go down
but I'm so much happier and I hate to think how I would have been doing um if I just stuck with that
because that's what I told people and that's what I'd already decided okay so my camera died and
it's only half charged because I want to film this before the light disappears I'm sorry if
the lighting has changed um but basically as I was saying 99% of the time your teachers, your
lecturers, your tutors, people in your life want to help you they care about you and if it's in a
like learning institution their whole job is to help you succeed and achieve what you want to work
towards so ask them for help and this doesn't only go for academic contexts this goes so much for
your mental health there is absolutely no shame in texting one of your friends and saying hey like
I'm not having a good time right now I could use someone to hang out with and distract me or can
I talk about some stuff with you um do it people need it like connection is like a basic need of
human beings and there's absolutely no shame in asking someone for that number 18 short but sweet
I'm not saying that I always have a pristine room but tidy room slash tidy space equals tidy brain
there's probably some studies maybe if you're lucky I'll go and find
some reliable studies that show this put them here or and link them in the description
but seriously it will be so much easier to think function feel good when the space that you're in
is tidy if your space is cluttered it will just increase the chance of your brain being cluttered
by so much um and lucky last number 19 decided on 19 not 20 because this is a video for teens
um in the nicest possible way nobody cares about you okay you've probably heard this
before but it's so easy to feel self-conscious especially in social situations um if you're
standing up doing public speaking um trying something that's really important to you um
nobody cares as much as you think and even if they care in the moment nine times out of ten
in 20 minutes, in a year nobody will remember like no one cares even if like you do something really
embarrassing in front of a really large group of people they laugh at you while you do that in an
hour they will have all forgotten about it you are not the main character of their life you are the
most important person in your own life so of course it makes sense that you're going to think
that however it is simply not true so don't let fear stop you from doing the things that you want
to and let it hold you back because you're scared and anxious about what people are going to think
nobody cares as much as you do so ask to help um try new things that you might not be good at fail
and try again all of those things just remember no one cares as much as you think they do um so
don't let them stop you okay and that's it that's all 19 pieces of advice um I'm really excited
about this video I just feel like there's so many little gems in here um if any of these resonated
with you you thought they were kind of cool let me know which ones I'm really curious um which ones
you guys thought were the most helpful and if you have any other piece of pieces of advice let's
fill the comments section with other things that people in their teens should know whether you're
in your teens still things that you wish your younger self had known or if you're old you have
some words of wisdom some genuine helpful advice like we want to hear it I want to hear it I mean
geez I'm always learning I would love to hear what you guys think that um
your past self should have known um but yeah so if you're new here um stick around if you
enjoyed the video I'd love to have you as part of the gang um but yeah good luck with everything
that's happening in your life right now I believe in you um and I'll see you next time