*Wa-Push*
Jack: Where we going?
Felix: Ummmm
Felix: We could go here...
Jack: Is that going to kill us immediately?
Felix: Probably, but it's good loot.
Jack: A'ight let's do it. Oh shit... I am on the wrong side of this building
Jack: He landed in the building.
Felix: I landed on top of him. Ah fuck, he got a shotgun right away, dude.
Jack: Uh-oh
Jack: Run away!
Jack: Ohhh, those are bad...
Felix: Oh my God, Jesus!
Jack: Dude!
Felix: He forgot to reload, what a fucking pleb!
Felix: Thought I was dead.
Jack: How'd you do that? You're like a fucking sensei.
Felix (Seductively): Yes.
Jack: Teach me Sensei.
Felix: No he fucked up, he fucked up big time.
Felix : Where are you?
Jack : Oh God, there's a guy right here.
Felix: I'm coming.
Jack: He's gone out, he's outside
Felix : So where are you?
Felix: I see him
Jack: Shit. Oh, God there's another guy!
Jack: He's too close to me!
Jack: There's another guy got...
Jack: Another guy went running.
Felix: Where?
Jack: He went out this way, I don't know which direction he went though.
Oh, he's right there.
Felix: Where?
Jack: Right there.
Both: Nice. (jinx)
Jack: Dude! Fucking some bitches!
Felix: I think I accidentally shot you a little bit. I'm sorry.
Jack: (Dismissively) No.
Felix: Oh, there's a guy sitting here.
*Jack Giggles*
Felix: What the fuck was he doing then?
Jack: What the fuck?
Felix: This is the bike that can randomly just flip front and break both your necks.
Jack: Haha, nice! I hope that happens.
Felix: Happened twice.
Felix: There's bound to be people here.
Jack: Oh, this is fucking bad news bears aww, dude.
Felix: Don't worry about it, don't worry about it.
Jack: Eugghhh
Jack: Mmm-Hmm, I don't like this. Use your cover finish the mission!
Felix: I don't know what you're saying.
Jack: I'm being Call of Duty right now!
Felix: Mission failed!
Felix: I can't do that accent. It's impossible for me.
Jack: Mission failed.
Felix: We'll do it, We'll ki- We'll do 'em next time.
Jack: We'll get 'em next time.
Jack: Don't kill me, don't kill me. I'm in.
Jack: I'll never kill you, flip. *Laughter*
Felix: It's happening. I swear to God it's the most random fucking shit.
Jack: Oh, we're so far away as well,
that's a lot of time in this bike.
Felix: We'll find something new on the way here.
Jack: It's beautiful this time of year!
Felix: Yeah, it's so nice!
Jack: All I can see is blood!
Felix: Sorry, don't- WHAT?!
Jack: Ohh!
Felix: The fucking plastic cone!
Felix: What the shit?!
Jack: Damn Player Unknown, you rough!
Dude, we're gonna fucking die!
Felix: Jesus! Oh, the guy in front of us, we're going to die now.
Jack: Get him!
Felix: AHH SABENIA ZABADICHIWANA!
Jack: Did you get him? Yeah!
Felix: Yeah, we got him.
Jack: Nice, okay. I have to hop out and energy drink. I got a Google Home recently and I keep just abusing it.
I keep being like, "Ok Google. Play this."
Felix: Like you abused my Alexa?
Jack: Yeah *Laughter*
Jack: Well, Alexa's fun!
Felix: I still have black dildo in my fucking shopping cart!
Jack: Well, that's weird because we told it to put horse dildo in.
Felix: Oh, okay!
Jack: S- and it put in a black dildo.
Felix: O-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!
Felix: Hey, oh shit.
Jack: Oh, God, Felix...
Felix: Uh, not a lot of people know how to do this properly, but
Felix: I do.
Jack: OH SHIT!
Felix: Get in, get in the house.
Jack: GOD, GOD, FUCK
Oh, God..
Jack: Red zone will just immediately kill us now.
Jack: Eh, maybe not. Oh, Jesus.
Jack: What are- WHAT ARE YOU DOING you're crazy!
Felix: I'M JUST PARKING THE CAR!
Jack: YOU'RE CRAZY!
Jack: Fucking lunatic.
Jack: This is our house now.
Felix: Op-! Guy incoming, incoming.
255, super close, two guys.
*Shooting*
Felix: Stay in the building.
Jack: Oh, God. I missed all my shots. Are you in a car?
Felix: No, that's not me, that's someone else.
Jack: Ohhhh shit.... Ohhhhh shit....
Felix: Fuck, I'm surrounded.
Jack: That guy is still behind the tree.
Felix: I'm gonna try and make it in the building. Before I dead.
Jack: Yeah.
Felix: Oh fuck! They were in the building.
Felix: I'm dead.
Felix: Alright, He's on your left.
You're gonna go right around the corner, NOT underneath the stairs...
Felix: You can get him.
Well then.
Jack: Thanks man.
Both: AHhHHhHhHh
Jack: I got shot!
Motherfuckers!
Jack: AH! Motherfucker! Ohh I'm out!
Felix: RUN JACK RUN!
Jack: AHHHH!
My fucking perfect sculpted ass.
Jack: OW! OW! OW! FUCK! OUCH! I'M DOWN! MAN DOWN!
*Laughter*
Jack: Well...
Felix: Uh, They're on the ceiling, they're on the ceiling,
On the building dead ahead of me.
Jack: Oh, I see them.
Felix: They're jumping down, both of them.
Felix: Let them come here.
Felix: Do you have any 'nades?
Jack: No.
Felix: Okay.
Felix: I'll hide here, you'll stay by the rock.
Jack: Yup.
Jack: Hello-o? Oh, they're right here, comin' around the ridge.
Felix: Yeah, they have a really good scope.
Okay, uh, I'm gonna throw a 'nade. While they're moving in, shoot.
*Shooting*
Felix: One is out.
Jack: Fuckin' nice!
Felix: Well then.
Jack: You just nailed both of them.
Felix: The fuck were they doing? YES! He had an eight-times scope, I knew it.
What a fucking pleb, why would he come here?
Jack: I have no idea.
Oh God, there's too much shit to take, now I'm fucking panicking.
Jack: They must be soo pissed!
Felix: I don't know why they both jumped down.
Jack: And why they both went the same side as well.
Felix: Right, yeah.
Jack: That was a good call, though, you backing up like that.
Because I think that confused them.
Felix: Maybe, I have no idea.
Jack: Did they fully loot this place?
Felix: Is there a garage in here? Where is everybody? It's so super quiet.
Jack: Also, have a Molotov.
Felix: Nice.
Jack: Should I drink it?
Felix(Laughing): Yes.
Felix: That's how they work.
Jack: I'll just drink it and then run at someone until they shoot me
and then I'll explode and kill them.
Jack: And then we'll win.
Jack: That's a good plan!
Felix: That's how it works.
Jack: Come on circle. Be nice to us!
Felix: Be nice to us! We've been nice to you!
Jack: We're good boys.
Felix: We're good boys. We just don't know better.
Jack: Motherfucker
Felix: Fuck you.
Felix: Car comin'.
Oh, It's comin' here.
Felix: It's going to the... Oh, it's going to keep walking.
Yeah, you best keep walking boy!
Jack: Don't fuckin' shoot at them!
We made this mistake last time.
Felix: But I'm silenced.
Jack: They'll still hear shots.
Oh, they flipped.
Felix: Did they really?
Jack: Yeah, they're upside-down. They're gonna have to get out. They're out.
Jack: 15
Felix: I see 'em, I see 'em, I see 'em. I'm taking.
Jack: *Unintelligible noise*
Felix: Ah fuck, the fucking tree is in the way.
Jack: *Unintelligible noise*
Jack: Ah they're running.
Felix: Oh, I see them.
Ah, Come on.
Jack: OH, Hit him!
Felix: Nice.
Jack: Yeah, they were heading for that building over there.
Both: Oh God..
Felix: I try to drive so slow as well.
Jack: This is good. This is good for us.
Felix: Do you see anyone?
Jack: No.
Felix: OH MY GOD!
Jack: Oh Christ.
Felix: Okay, well, we're stopping here now.
Jack: Well.. Oh hey look, these buildings! Well, we wanted to stop here anyway, right?
Felix: They are in this circle aren't they? Yeah, they are.
Jack: Yup. This is almost in the circle over here where these trees are.
Felix: Car coming. Don't shoot, okay it's far away.
Jack: I'm in the circle right here now next to these rocks.
Felix: Okay.
Come on, man! Come on, man! It would suck if we died now. We spent so long.
Felix: I'm not in the circle here, and it's super annoying.
It's okay.
Stand still for one second, dude.
Jack: Okay. They're fucking each other up.
Oh, car left.
Oh, shit.
Felix: It's okay. We'll get 'em.
Hit him!
There's a guy in the tree on the left and a guy in the tree on the right.
Felix: Yeah, I saw him, too far away.
Jack: Shit, I'm being shot from another place.
I'm fucking surrounded.
Felix: Ah, they're on our southwest. That's a guy southwest.
He's got a fucking kar98.
Jack: Fuck, I'm down.
Felix: Another guy helped me.
Jack: There's a fucking guy behind us as well. Jesus Christ. They're everywhere.
Felix: Everyone's here. Yo, can you crawl to me?
Jack: I think I'm gonna die.
Felix: I'll come to you. Where's the guy? Oh, I see him.
Jack: To the left.
Ah, I'm down. Save yourself.
Felix: Where did the shots come from?
Jack: There's some there and there's some to your right as well.
Felix: Fuck.
They were everywhere! Jesus Christ!
Jack: Yes, Jesus Christ. Two guys came in on the left, there was guys on the right, there was guys behind us.
Felix: Fuck! Jesus!
Jack: It's unnaturally quiet, I'm going to turn up my volume, a small bit.
Felix: *Hums a song*
Jack: I like this song!
*Both are humming*
*Laughs*
Felix: I wrote it just for you.
Jack: Thanks, man!
Jack: It said at the bottom someone died finally.
Felix: Really?
Jack: Yeah.
Felix: No action in the circle. Everyones...
Jack: Finally, finally that guy died.
Felix: Wait, his name was "finally"?
Jack: No, it said his name, like chaosjoshi died finally. 33 left.
Felix: Oh really?
Oh I guess it means he bled out.
Jack: Yeah.
Jack: Finally that fucker died.
Felix: Everyone was waiting, and waiting.
Jack: They are all like "when is that fucker going to bleed out?"
To are like when is that fuck I'm gonna bleed out. I tell you story alright
Okay, I listen with ear hole and there was once hedgehog
blue very fast
Oh, How fast he go?
That fast
Holy fuck he explode very fast. That's fast as fuck boy.
He run so fast he create explosh
Wow! He explode like...
Outside of house
Jack: I hear a car.
Jack: Oh, Here comes the people now from 210.
Felix: One team there
Felix: We're outside the circle. They're going to go past this
Jack: Yep
Felix Alright we gotta keep moving. It's pretty...
Jack: We have a jeep down there if you wanna get it
Felix: Alright this is our last ride.
Jack: Why are you taking this?
Felix: I'm not going to run to the Jeep, what are you? Mad?
Jack: Yeah
Jack: ♪My balls my balls my balls my balls♪
Felix: Don't flip don't flip don't flip
Jack: Yeah, I don't see this ending well for us
Jack: Guy right there, guy to the left
Felix: Oh jesus another one.
Jack: Another one, FUCK!
Felix: Go out, Go out
Jack: Jesus Christ they're fucking everywhere
*Gunfire*
Felix: Dead
Jack: Nice, I'm healing.
Felix: Heal up quick boy, we could get sniped any fucking second!
Jack: okay, i'm good
Felix: Get back in
Jack: Ow!
Felix: Don't die on me
Jack: Oh god, this thing is fucking dying on us.
Felix: Oh fuck, we're losing one tire
Jack: Okay, I don't know where those shots are coming from.
Jack: Ow! I'm down. It came from our left, It came from the north
Felix: Come to me
Felix: Crawl to me
Jack: i'm trying
Jack: That was a good fucking shot too.
Felix: We were so slow, that was so stupid
Jack: Yeah!
Jack: it's okay, you got no pants on. Do the no pants dance
Felix: We're gonna have to run in! Cus the circle's coming right now
Jack: Okay!
Jack: I'm so gonna fucking
Felix: Round here! Round here! Here, here, here
Felix: they're shooting from the watch tower, that's it
Jack: Yup!
Felix: Run this way
Jack: Car to our right
Felix: Let's hurry up! Stay by this rock!
Felix: Oh fuck! We're in the middle of the fucking field!
Jack: Yup, and i need to heal, cus the blue's gonna kill me
Felix: Run, Run, Run, Run, Run
Jack: Uhhhhhh, Come on, Come on!
Jack: Ahh fuck, i just got downed
Felix: It's okay, It's okay!
Jack: Oh balls!
Felix: If no one sees us in this fucking field
Jack: This is so bad!
Felix: Alright just lay down instantly, okay?
Jack: We already have to fucking run after this aswell
Felix: It's okay, It's okay, It's okay. What do you need? What do you got?
Jack: I have first aid, and a painkiller
Felix: Okay do that and then start crawling
Jack: Ohhh god, I'M SO SCARED!
Felix: This is it boy!
Felix: This is what we fight for!
Jack: C'mon painkiller, faster please!
Felix: We've got plenty of time to crawl in
Jack: There's some guys over... Building red roof at 330
Felix: okay i see it, Yeah i see him
Jack: And some guys at. OHH JESUS!
Felix: AWM, Jesus you got fucked dude!
Jack: No i got hit with an m24. Fuck me, i got sniped so hard!
Jack: Okay, I'm in between bales, I don't thing it's safe to come get me
Felix: No, i'm not gonna
Jack: No, he shot me again. FUCK! That scared the shit out of me!
Jack: POW! Wow god, i thought that was a dead dude
Felix: The fuck was he doing?
Jack: That was fucking, That was badass!
Jack: Oh dude, seven alive
Felix: There's no cover here
Jack: There's no cover and we're outgunned as well...
Jack: What the fuck is he shooting at?
Felix: Oh, I see a guy dead ahead
Jack: Nice!
Felix: Where's his friend tho? I Have no idea
Jack: He Doesn't have one
Felix: No, He has one, cus he didn't die
Jack: What if it's the guy you just killed?
Felix: No, it's not
Jack: Yeah, i get ya
Felix: Okay, someone else killed him
Jack: Dude it's so close
Felix: I don't have a good enough weapon and i'm in a fucking field dude!
Jack: Yeah but they have... snipers and they have to move
Felix: I see them, there's a team right in front of us.
Felix: Dead ahead
Jack: Did they get into the jeep?
Felix: I don't know
Jack: Nope!
Felix: They're right in front
Felix: It's them and one other team... Possibly
Felix: Hopefully they can fight it out while i just (inaudible)
Jack: Man that sucks that i got fucking sniped
Felix: Yeah that's fucking annoying
Jack: Okay they're on your left
Felix: Yeah, i see them
Jack: You got this, i believe in you, do you have any nades or anything?
Felix: Yeah i do
Felix: I want... Ahh they're in the circle, Fucking pricks
Felix: Ahh, Come on dude
Jack: you can get that guy
Felix: I know, i know, uhh
Felix: It's to risky right now, I'd rather...
Jack: You have the advantage cus you're higher up
Felix: The problem is: I don't know if i can take out two other ones
Jack: Yeah, where the fuck are the others?
Felix: This is too fucking risky
Jack: Uh, They're coming
Jack: Expert cover *laughter*
Felix: Actually, you know what? it works pretty fucking well doesn't it?
Jack: Yeah
Felix: I can take this guy's shit. Eight times scope! Let's go boys!
Jack: they'll never suspect him in the corn
Felix: They're not shooting... OH, They are shooting me!
Both: FUCK!
Felix: He saw me, i could've gone to him. Damnit!
Jack: Dude, that's the best we've ever done together
*Outro Music*
Jack: MY FUCKIN' PERFECTLY SCULPTED ASS!
(Oh yus daddy)