Hey guys! So it's 2011, or is it *robotic voice* 2011?
Ah!
The year of futuristic laser faces. *Mow!*
So, like Dan, I got a new camera. So I should be all shiny! Look at the blur behind me!
Blur!
Shiny robot
Shiny pacman ghost
*Deep voice* Am I prettier now?
Look at this sexy HD blur photo I took of Lion
*music*
But yeah, hope you all got good stockings and stuff!
Mine was kind of substandard, one of the main presents being dental floss!
Essential floss! I always think of dental floss as kind of an American thing, like
"Hey, let's go ride a seal while flossing our teeth." "Yeah."
I'm guessing this is too much, I don't know. I don't really floss ever. I've got nice teeth, see?
I'm not disgusting
Ah! Ow! Uh! It just occurred to me that flossing my teeth on camera would be kinda gross
So, I'm not gonna do that. Let's push that idea aside. Push...
Also I have a confession, confession... Sounded Australian then!
No, I don't know why, but I can't take my Christmas tree down, I keep forgetting!
*hums sinister tune*
I think the polar bear's working Derren Brown mind games on me.
*creepy music*
I will take you back to the Antarctic, James.
*continued creepy music*
Tomorrow I'm just gonna flying tackle it to the ground and rip its leaves off...branches
*strange noises*
I also heard something terrible happens to you if you leave it up for too long
like someone on Twitter said I was gonna be attacked by a goat made of mirrors
*goat impression*
That doesn't sound good! Please could you leave a comment below letting me know what will
happen to me.
Hopefully, it will involve gold and unicorns. Golden unicorns!
Also I've become one of these people now, the iPhone people.
I'm currently the king of Robot Unicorn Attack.
*Robot Unicorn Attack theme*
I don't think many people are gonna be beating 75,000
I also got an app which records you while you sleep, which I got because I was hoping for
paranormal activity demon noises! Like,
*deep voice* Satan is here!
I haven't got that yet, but I've got some pretty funny stuff
*slurred* We all did it again. No, we need to get it again
*laughs* Get it again
Wartortle!
*snores/snorts*
*laughs* Hot!
Yeah, don't know what I was dreaming about, I think a Wartortle was like bringing me the wrong
snacks or something.
Also for Christmas I asked for a hamster, and ended up getting Prehistoric Triops!
Grow your own Triassic pet!
So yeah, I got Dan to help me hatch them, and this is what happened!
Triop face!
Dan: You need, a small, clear, clean plastic tank. Phil: Tank!
D: Oh no, 1 litre tank, two thirds full P: Oh!
D: Yeah. Uh! Uh! Uh! P: Sorry, sorry
D: You klutz! Uh! P: *laughs* Sorry
D: How hard is it to pour water-*high pitched* into a jar! Jesus what the f-
D: Pour it over you now. P: Ah!
D: Not all of- yeah P: Ah!
D: Yeah, exactly! Wet socks, how does it feel?
D: Hatching and feeding! P: Ooh! I dare you to eat one.
D: No! P: Come on. Smell it.
D: So you've got a pot of dust and you're asking me to sniff it knowing that the dust is actually eggs?
D: If I have a dinosaur growing out of my face, it's all Phil's fault
P: *laughs* D: Okay, um...
P: Let's pour the eggs in!
P: *sings random tune* D: We are becoming Gods.
P: *continues singing*
D: Dinosaurs, Ladies and Gentlemen!
D: If these don't turn into giant Aerodactyls by the end of the week then I'm going to be very annoyed
D: I've got a better use for the focus. P: No!
D: *sings tune*
It's day 3 and we have life. They're so creepy, they've got little faces and everything.
After inspecting the tank I've noticed there's 2 species, Triops and these tiny shrimp
and the shrimp are really cute, they're like 'mii-mii-mii'
and the Triops are like argh!
So I rang the helpline and she said, 'Oh don't worry, the triops will eat the baby shrimp'
I don't want them to eat the baby shrimp. Poor Simon! Mii-mii-mii
I might have to go on a rescue mission.
I will keep you updated.
Anyway, today's Draw Phil Naked is...
*music*
And I'm gonna go play some more Donkey Kong Country Returns, which is the best game ever!
Go get it!
Eat it!
Um, I will see you next week!
Bye!
*End music*