If you get nervous in interviews, if you panic beforehand,
if you feel like you have to have all the answers and you're totally not
confident in interviews. In this video,
I'm going to explain to you how to handle your nerves so they're not a problem
for you anymore.
How to be ready for whatever comes your way and just you know how to be at peace
with yourself at home, with yourself. So stay tuned.
So the first thing I want to tell you is it's okay to be nervous.
It's normal. We're all nervous. We're all humans, right?
So telling yourself like, I shouldn't be nervous. I need to be more confident.
I need to be this, or I should be this.
That's contributing to the fact that you're nervous.
So meet yourself where you're at. Just be like, it's okay that I'm nervous,
I'm going to deal with this. And it's okay.
And also knowing that you can still be a little nervous and you can still get
the job. I've done it myself. Humans are humans.
We relate better to people who are human. So in fact,
they were a little nervous. Could actually might work to your advantage.
Don't tell yourself that you shouldn't be nervous.
Just tell yourself I'm a little nervous and that's okay.
Just means that this opportunity is important to me.
Just means I want to do my best. It just means that I'm excited about it.
And also the feeling of nervousness and excitement and the feeling of
nervousness and like exhilaration or panic or fear,
like all those feelings, like the body doesn't really know the difference.
You could be afraid and can be nervous. You can be really excited.
Just keep in mind the thoughts, okay?
And that there's nothing wrong with you for being nervous.
It doesn't mean you're going to do any less of a good job when you get in there.
It just means it's normal. Okay? So that's the first thing. So two,
I want you to understand that the worst thing that can happen here is you go in
the interview and maybe you don't know the answer to something or you feel a
little embarrassed, a little awkward, or a little inadequate, right?
So that's basically the worst thing that can happen.
But our brain is telling us, Oh my God, if I don't do well on this,
I'm going to die. If I don't get this job, I'm going to die. Like,
what's going to happen to me? What's it going to mean if I don't get this job?
What's it going to mean if I don't nail this right?
You get to decide what it means.
The worst thing that can happen is an uncomfortable feeling, right?
So you're not actually going to die. Your brain thinks you are,
which is why it makes you so nervous, but it's actually going to be okay.
So whatever happens is going to be okay.
The third thing I'm going to show you how to actually process a feeling so that
if you do start to feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, or awkward,
you're going to be okay.
Say you didn't know the answer to the question and say you have a bit of an
awkward moment in the room, right? Say that's the worst thing that happens,
then you're going to maybe feel inadequate, let's say.
So I want you to just describe what it feels like to feel that way, right?
So maybe after the interview you feel like you didn't do so well and you feel a
bit disappointed. Any of the, any feeling that you might feel,
name it and then process it. Then the way that you it is,
you just describe it in as much detail as possible. What does it feel like?
Where in your body do you feel it in your stomach?
Is it in your chest and your solar plexus? Like where do you feel the feeling?
Right? And then ask yourself what color is the feeling? Is it blue?
Is it gray? Is it red? Is it hot? Is it cold?
Is it lukewarm? Is it spiky? Is it crackly? Is it smooth?
Like what does it feel like to have that feeling right?
Feel it for as long as you need to feel it. And then once you do that,
it will start to fade away, right?
And you'll start to see that it's not such a big deal just to feeling being a
human. We ride these feelings like waves, they come and go, right?
And then this is what's going to make you stronger and willing to go and put
yourself in situations that are uncomfortable again,
which are gonna move you forward in your life and in your career and towards
what you actually want. That's called processing of feeling.
And when we learn to do that, we can handle a lot more. That comes our way.
Understanding where the nerves come from.
So when you're nervous it's because of the thought you're having. Now.
It might not be fully conscious,
you might not be fully conscious of the thought you're having quite yet.
But I want to bring your attention to the fact that when you're nervous,
that's when you have those feelings of nervousness.
It's because of a thought that you're thinking. So it could be something like,
I failed an interview before. I didn't know the answer before.
It could be something in your past or it could be something that you feel about
yourself. Like, I'm not good enough. Can I really do this? Um,
are they going to like me? I need to put on a performance.
Anything like that would probably make you feel pretty nervous.
And pretty tense, right? For example, if you were really confident,
you wouldn't be thinking thoughts like that. You'd be thinking about like,
you know, I'm really excited to show them what it is that I can do.
I've got some skills and some knowledge and I'm excited to share with them what
it is I'm going to be able to help them with and then notice how that feels
different, right? It feels different from I hope they like me. Right?
Cause now you want to show them something and you're excited for what you are
going to bring to the table. Right?
So very different thoughts equal very different feelings.
The fifth thing stuff, confident. People still feel nervous,
especially when it's something they've never done it before.
Let's say you have never been skydiving before.
You're going to be super nervous or you're going to have a feeling, right?
Like it could be excitement, exhilaration, fear,
probably fear that you're going to die. Whatever the case is,
you're going to have a feeling because you're a human right.
If you've never done that before, you're going to have that feeling very,
very intensely to the point where you might not even want to do it.
If you have been skydiving before, and I have,
I know somebody who's go skydiving all the time and he does it because he likes
stop feeling right, but he doesn't have it as intensely and he doesn't,
he knows he's not going to die. So he keeps going. Right?
And this is an extreme example, but somebody who's never been skydiving before,
they experienced that feeling a lot more strongly than someone who has been
before and they know what to expect. So it's the same with interviewing.
It's the same with anything else.
So if you've done something a few times before,
you kind of know a little bit more about what to expect than if you've never
done it before. So with interviews,
it's like everything is different every time.
Some things are always going to be the same. Like they're probably going to say,
you know,
tell me about yourself and ask you some of the same behavioral questions, right?
You'll have a chance to share.
You know about your skills and about your abilities.
So there's a lot of things that are going to be the same and then there's some
things that are going to be a bit different and that's okay.
But the more that you go in,
the more that you learn and the more that you take notes about your
interviewing, the more confident you're going to become.
And that's a normal part of the process.
So most of us don't interview for a living, right?
So we don't really get super confident at interviews.
We just have times in our lives where we need to interview and then we're like,
Oh and then we get super nervous cause we're not really used to it. Right.
So it's totally normal.
And even really competent people still get nervous when put in situations that
they're not familiar with. Right.
So they might handle it a lot better or they might, you know,
put on a very, very strong confident front.
But sometimes they are still panicking inside thinking, ah,
I don't know what to say. I'm not sure the answer to that. And that's okay.
It just means there's more to learn here and there's an opportunity for you to
grow. So I want you to think of it in the context of this,
in the fact that you can think of something that you're really confident doing,
right? So maybe it's walking, right? So maybe you can,
you're pretty confident that you can get up out of your chair and walk wherever
you want to go. Or maybe it's driving,
you're pretty confident you can drive to the store and back, right?
You're pretty confident that you can speak, right?
You're pretty confident that you can maybe hold a baby, right? Like for me,
my sister just recently had a baby and she's like, you want to hold him?
And he's newborn. And I'm like, ah, I'm actually kind of nervous.
The whole them, I don't really know how to hold him. You know,
how to support his head. Like I've not really done that a lot too.
I'm nervous to do it. Right. So after doing it a bit, I'm a lot more confident.
I'm like, okay, yeah, give me the baby. I got this right.
But the first time I did it, the first few times I did it, I was a bit nervous,
right? It's a human life that I was holding and I was like, ah,
I don't want to mess it up, right? So perfectly normal.
It doesn't mean anything. There's anything wrong with me.
It just means I've never done that or I hadn't done it a lot or for a long time.
So with interviewing, it's the same, right? With skydiving, it's similar, right?
You can take these examples of your own life.
So I want you to think of something that you're very confident in doing and
think of the first time that you did it and think of whether or not you were
confident then and how you built that confidence in what you did, right?
And I guarantee you it involved doing it right.
So you did it first and then you had the confidence and now you can say, okay,
I've done it.
And then the last thing I want to leave you with is the things you can do to
control your nerves. A big thing is to prepare.
You want to prepare because that's within your control.
But I want you to prepare with certain thoughts in mind.
So first I want you to ask yourself, why do I want that job?
Why do I want to work there?
What can I contribute and don't come from it from a place of I hope they like me
or I want an answer.
All their questions correctly come from it of a place of do I like them?
Do I want this? Why do I want this? What can I contribute? Right?
Cause this is a big part of your life, right? Your work.
You're going to spend a lot of time there.
You're going to want to make sure you like what you're doing.
You're going to want to make sure you like the people that you're interacting
with every day. And if you had the opportunity to work anywhere in the world,
why are you choosing them? What is it that you'll be contributing,
right? So when you think of it like that, you can feel different feelings.
Then I hope they like me because those feelings will contribute to nervousness
and tenseness. You're thinking, I hope they like me.
I hope I say everything right. I hope that they'll approve of what I'm saying.
That's very different than thinking, do I like them?
Do I want this and what is it that I'm going to be contributing that will be
useful? What's mutually beneficial for both of us?
Am I going to be the right fit?
Do I even want this to help you with the preparation?
I have a free guide available and it's got 25 questions that you're going to be
asking yourself to pull out your own value and your own experiences and to pull
out your own confidence. And that's going to happen with the questions.
When you download the guide, you can ask yourself,
it's also got 10 example answers of questions that confident people would give,
right? And they've worked in the past for myself and my clients.
So I want you to take a look at those and then you'll start to get inspired for
your own answers. So basically once you download the guide,
I want you to feel confident,
ready for whatever they're going to bring your way and able to control that
preparation so that when you go in,
you can see those nerves disappear.
So thank you so much for watching. If you liked the video, give me a thumbs up.
If you didn't like it, give me a thumbs down, subscribe to the channel,
and if you want some more free resources, you can always visit my website,
www.nataliefisher.ca.
I'll see you over there and I'll see you in the next video. Cool.