It has just allowed me to
escape the reality at times when things
have been too much
and focus on the good in this world and
positive things
The series is a collection of portraits
and accompanying tales of the NHS staff who
were there along my journey when I was
recovering from my ovarian cancer
diagnosis in Ninewells Hospital in Dundee
I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in
March 2020, age 33, and it was just as the
pandemic was unfolding
I had been misdiagnosed for 18 months or so
but I knew something was wrong and I
persistently looked for answers really
On Wednesday the 4th of March
I went for what I thought was a routine
check-up or appointment
I went upstairs and
I reached the room
and I'll never forget that the
doctor who I expected to see wasn't
there and there was another doctor and a
nurse in the waiting room
and he just said "have you got someone with you?"
and it was at that point that
I just knew it was cancer
I'd known something was wrong for a long time
and I said "yes" and he said
"I think this conversation is going to be
different to what you'd expected"
I found out that it spread all through
the abdominal cavity which was
just... I mean life-changing, a huge shock
and in the same conversation
I found out that because it had spread so
much and because it wasn't
diagnosed at an earlier stage
I would also lose my fertility
I remember going out to the car park
My mum was with me and
we met my dad in the car park who's
got Parkinson's and he walked over
towards me and I remember
telling him about the cancer part
I think I'd expected that but when I said
that I had
lost my fertility too I remember
actually falling back against the car a bit
because the depth of the pain and the shock was just so intense
In December 2020
we were in the throes of the second wave
of Covid and I went into hospital
I had stuffed the art materials into my
bag that morning
just because I don't like being bored basically
and as I lay in bed, in my hospital bed I
was just so inspired at the teamwork
no matter what role they play, it was the
dedication they have to their patients
so I started to draw from life and then
from there I went on to create
individual portraits
The first portrait was
Margaret the cleaner who when I noticed
what she was doing that was what really
inspired me to even start the individual
portraits because she'd brought in this
lavender spray, she brings it in herself
and sprays each room just to add her own
personal touch and make sure those rooms
smell the nicest they can for the
patients which i just thought was really moving
There was the porter who got a
blanket to make sure that I was covered
and warm when I went down for my
procedure and
chatted all the way and told me funny stories
Miss Ziyaie was my consultant I
mean she is just an incredible
consultant, incredible doctor, she always
goes the extra mile and I think it was
all the personal touches you know you're
not a number with her, it's like you're
the only person she's treating
It's not one person, it's the whole team and every
single person is so valuable and I
really wanted that to be portrayed in the series
So today we're going to Ninewells Hospital
and in the community garden
we are going to meet two of the staff who
I'm really looking forward to seeing agan
So Caitlin the dietitian
and Lorraine who's a nurse
So Gilly mentioned at the end of the
consultation "oh can I take a quick picture of you?"
and I was like "oh, what's this for?!"
She asked if she could take my picture and
explained what she was doing with all the portraits
and then a couple months later it
popped up on my social media feeds and I
couldn't quite believe that it was me
and I was really touched by what she'd
written about me and you know a lot of
us go into the NHS to make that
difference so actually
seeing how that impacted Gilly was...
it was really nice and it made you feel
like you were doing a good job and that
your hard work was worthwhile especially
in the last couple of years so yeah, it was lovely
I just can't believe...
it's really what Gilly was going
through at the time
and she actually, she was gifting us all this
and she was going through such a hard
time herself and her darkest moments
and she was thinking of other people and I
just couldn't believe it, I was blown away
by it to be honest
I share the portraits on my Instagram
account but she hasn't seen the original so...
So, it's yours!
Thank you so much
Can I give you a cuddle?
That's so, so amazing
What an artist, eh? Absolutely amazing
So glad you like it
i feel really emotional actually, yeah I do
The diagnosis, when I say it's
life-changing it really is life-changing
and I won't be the same person again
because I carry the pain of it and
there's always an uncertainty that you
carry underneath but there's another
side of it where you really see
a beautiful side of humanity and
you notice more, you know the beautiful
things in nature
and you really have that
feeling that life is short and there are
no guarantees so
I just want to make
the time I have count
My counsellor's spoken to me about being
joyful and heartbroken at the same time
and I think that would probably sum up how I feel