God is, and has been a powerful force in the history of humankind.
The concept of God has taken many forms, and many religions.
God has been given many names.
Some claim that God is simply fiction, but that's meaningless to me because we are a race governed by stories.
The stories we tell ourselves are inescapable without letting go of the ego.
Fiction, is just in our DNA
This is gonna be a little bit different...
when I use the word god, I mean what I say in a secular sense, I
Personally see God as independent of religion.
This is simply the way I choose to see the world. My perspective is the only thing I can speak about.
Since there's a lack of material on God in a secular sense. I thought I would share my view.
Let me begin by saying I am deeply ignorant on the workings of God, I understand very very little about how the universe works.
Can make only the most basic of observations.
for example, sometimes water falls from the clouds in the sky.
And, sometimes it's the Sun that's peeking through the leaves.
Sometimes I feel like life piles up on my chest and throat and I can't get the air that I need and other times,
I'm OK, I'm alright.
I can't tell you what it means or why it happens.
I have no clue why I, or any of us are here and what we're supposed to be doing.
Naturally, I spend a lot of time thinking about gotten, seems like a lot of people look to God to answer all these impossible
questions.
And yet so much that is said using this three-letter word, it doesn't make sense to me.
What about the insane, and justices, that exist in this world?
What about the suffering that occurs in all of our lives?
Why do people have to die?
Why do all things come to an end? I feel like I keep trying to add one plus one and getting 5 or 6
or 27.
I think a lot about how quickly time is passing.
Sometimes moments occur in my life and I feel unable to grasp their meaning.
I'm aging.
Before I know it, I'll be in the twilight of looking back at all the things
I dreamed of and accomplished as a young man full of energy, but also full of questions
Usually my thoughts on death, are what lead me back to God.
I'm told I asked my grandparents about death, when I was four years old.
Since then not a whole lot has changed.
I still think about it most days.
If it all just ends, why are we running around in a world that feels incoherent nonsensical?
What am I even trying to accomplish in the first place?
Here's what I can say,
My idea of god, has changed a lot over-time.
little by little I've come to see God, as the best possible friend I could ever have.
I'm not entirely sure how I came to this conclusion but, something about it feels right.
This is a friend that loves me so purely and deeply I'm unable to understand its debt.
God is a friend, that will not leave me in a friend that I have so much to learn from.
My friend cares little about reverence, about shame, about respect or about anything else that I do for that matter.
There are no expectations.
Instead, I see God is infinitely patient.
Love is the only word god knows.
You can turn your back to this friend, and I often do in my ignorance and selfishness.
This is something I've done in confusing or overwhelming parts of my life.
I say to myself, ''I'm so lonely.'' Or, ''I'm so lost.''
In fact I think I spend the majority of my life bumping against my many invisible walls, living in the limitations of my mind.
Figuring out how to understand and take care of myself.
None of this changes the fact that God is,
And will always be there.
This is a comforting thought for me.
I run around trying to prove myself in the world.
looking for recognition and acceptance,
React in funny ways when were desperate for these things.
I'm unnecessarily competitive.
I have a little bit of a temper.
I'm not the best with criticism and I've been selfish at times.
Spend a lot of time trying to rationalize the way things work.
trying to connect the dots...
To fix myself.
I don't think this is how God operates.
As far as I understand things there is no justice.
No, right or wrong.
God is simply the way things move, and it is I who choose to let fear close my eyes, from seeing things as they are.
Instead,
I feel my friend is with me in the moments when those walls of mine fall.
In moments of music.
In moments of pure embrace with others.
Moments of focus and creativity in peace.
Moments of selflessness...
Moments of stillness...
They might be fleeting moments, but somehow there are also moments that last an eternity.
In these moments,
My friend says to me:
Hi.
I've been waiting for you.