how can you instill a true heartfelt sense of gratefulness in your child in this video
I'm going to tell you ten things you can do as a parent to encourage your child to feel grateful
having a grateful spirit one of the first steps to being grateful is thinking outside oneself a
person who has a perspective that is skewed by a lack of understanding of the positions of others
cannot possibly be a grateful person they have to see what others do for them recognize its
value and behave accordingly when a child learns to say words and show actions that
are thoughtful of others they can begin to see a perspective outside of themselves knowing to
say thank you please and excuse me our basics to thinking about the feelings and thoughts of
others there are lots of other manners to teach like not burping in public or opening doors for
others writing thank-you notes and generally being publicly aware of the needs and feelings
of others around them number two use the sandwich method the words we use around our children can
have a profound impact on how they view the world they form their point of view at perspective on
right and wrong and an attitude of grateful just from the things we say about what is happening in
our own environment but how can we continue an attitude of gratefulness even when confronting
problems the sandwich method is talking about something with grateful or uplifting words
first that would be the bottom piece of bread the problem and possible solutions second that
would be the meat and more grateful or uplifting words at the end that would be the top piece of
bread this gives the children a sense that even though things aren't always the way they should
be there is much to be grateful for regardless of any problems that make them up this method
can be used to discuss just about anything including their misbehaviors problems with
extended family Church siblings and politics by talking about the good and everything and then
pointing out the things that may need improvement children get a sense of gratefulness for the world
around them and their position in it number 3 point out blessings one way to help your child
to be generally grateful in spirit and to think about their blessings is to daily talk about the
awesomeness of simple things in life no matter what's happening let's look at one example in
life parking your car when you go into a parking lot and it's full you can be frustrated or you
can choose happiness and therefore gratefulness no matter what the circumstances for instance
if you're going to a restaurant and the parking lot is empty mention how great it is you can park
close to the door and get in quickly if it's full mention how this must be really good place to eat
if so many people are going there and you can't wait to try their food you can do this with just
about any situation think of ways to express the blessings in every circumstance and your
child will start to think this way and to do it naturally number 4 say prayers teaching your child
to have communication with God can really be a big part of creating a mindset of gratefulness
just the thought of God and how he created the world and how He loves us sets a foundation for
joy when teaching your child to pray remember to teach them not just to ask for things but to
always add praise and thanksgiving in each prayer praise talking to God about how wonderful he is
and Thanksgiving is thinking of specific things to thank him for the knowledge that there is a God
who loves us and cares about our lives so seeds of gratefulness and contentment number 5 give
to others sacrificially have you ever wondered why it feels good to give to others it naturally
uplifts us to give but why is that exactly our brains are actually wired to feel good when we do
good neuroscientists have recently discovered that giving produces endorphins and endorphins make us
happy studies have actually found real evidence that we feel a greater sense of happiness when
we spend money on others as opposed to when we spend it on ourselves when we give we feel joy
when we have joy we naturally have an attitude of gratefulness but remember that the giving must
really come from them they must do some kind of sacrifice that they want to do to get that real
feeling of joy for instance when you go out and buy a gift for them to give to someone else are
they actually going to experience that joy of giving no they really aren't and in fact they
can start to believe giving isn't that wonderful at all because they don't feel about real sense
of joy I suggest you do not do this because it will be harder to instill the joy of giving in
your child and therefore harder to instill a sense of gratefulness let them either earn money to get
a gift or make it themselves they need to know how much it takes to give a gift in order to be
grateful for the gifts they receive and in order to feel the joy of giving the more they sacrifice
and giving the gift the more joy they will feel and the more gratefulness they will build into
their character do not allow overindulgence have you ever been to a child's birthday party and they
are surrounded by pile of gifts they rip open a package look at it and throw it aside and reach
for the next one their parents have to stop them to try to get them to acknowledge the gift and
say thank you they do it grudgingly as if this brief act of appreciation is in the way of opening
the next package or maybe they are stuck on one gift that they like so much that they refuse to
acknowledge any other gifts or the people who gave them this is a lesson in ungratefulness the child
has no thought whatsoever of others around them they're too overwhelmed with the possibilities
and completely disregard their guests why is this first a child who is given too much is not able to
process such a large amount of information and excitement all at once and actually it would be
the same with adults to a certain extent when any of us gets too much each individual thing
isn't as important in contrast when you receive one or two things each thing becomes much more
significant by limiting the amount of gifts your child receives at birthdays or holidays you can
much more easily teach gratefulness and fend off a belief of entitlement you can talk to them more
deeply about each gift and they can process the generosity of the givers teach them the details
of giving a gift have you ever received a gift and really thought about all that someone had to do to
prepare it for you maybe they made it themselves if they bought it they had to think about what
you would like consider your wants and needs your life your desires then they had to search for the
perfect thing to fit the bill they had to purchase it with money they could have spent elsewhere but
sacrificed that money for you they may have had to wrap it by choosing the wrapping paper or gift
bag that it would fit did they add a card they had to take time to look through lots of cards
to find the appropriate one or maybe they gave a handmade one if it was sent through the mail
they even had to find your address packaged it go to the post office and possibly stand in line
to mail it off and pay for shipping as an adult you can recognize all these things that went into
that gift you received you've given many gifts yourself many times so clearly you know what it
takes to go through the process of thoughtful gift giving therefore you can appreciate it
and have a natural sense of gratefulness for all that person has done for you but does your child
understand that do they have that same experience with giving to others as you do no they do not you
can help them by talking through this with each gift they receive and making sure they acknowledge
the gift and the giver they will truly be able to look at the gift give it thought feel a sense
of gratefulness go to the giver and thank them wholeheartedly and feel that joy in receiving it
teach them to show appreciation gifts are only the tangible presence there are also gifts of
time effort and energy help your child notice the work others put in around them to make their life
better think about the school teachers janitors and school cooks coaches and youth activity
directors camp counselors and Camp cooks and at church what about the Sunday school teacher the
preacher or the piano player or special music providers even those who greet people at the
door and take up the offering your child needs to recognize what all these people do for them when
they do pay attention to this they will soon have a real appreciation for it especially if they are
also working to help others and have experienced the amount of time and effort put in to produce
classes camps and youth events mention all these things to your child often teach them to remember
to periodically thank their teachers at school their coaches cafeteria workers janitors there's
Sunday School teachers and go up to the preacher and shake his hand and thank him too doing this
will help create the Grateful spirit in them that is essential for having an experience of true joy
don't hop to it your child should know that when you take them somewhere do something for them
provide a service of any kind for them that it is a gift they should receive it with gratitude
you will help them learn gratitude if when they ask you to do something for them and it is not
convenient you don't hop to it immediately you don't always rearrange your plans to accommodate
theirs let them know you have other plans talk to them about options and alternative ways to
accommodate their requests if it doesn't work out then it doesn't if you are able to work it out you
will the question may be aren't we supposed to always be there for our children yes in spirit
always in support always with love and advice always yes but we are not supposed to be their
maids servants or on-call chauffeurs we should not stop everything at any time if they snap
their fingers by giving them this kind of undue attention and privilege they see the world in a
skewed way and it creates a sense of entitlement this does not create gratefulness there needs to
be a balance between showing your child they are important and mean the world to you while at the
same time showing them that they are not the center of the universe bored is an ungrateful
word I had to add this little piece of advice do not allow your children to rely on you for
their entertainment when my children would come to me with I'm bored my response would be one of
two things I'm not your entertainment committee or board is an ungrateful word it didn't take
long before my children realize that this wasn't a productive thing to say a child who is coming to
you to remedy their boredom needs to understand two things first it's not your job to make sure
they are entertained and they are not entitled to be entertained at all times second that the
many toys games and books that have already been provided for them our gifts and to come to you
and suggest that these are not good enough is an ungrateful attitude do not get angry or punish
your children for saying this to you if you just kindly always use one of those two responses they
will learn it is truth they don't realize they are being ungrateful teach them about this and
open their minds to the idea let them think about it find those less fortunate when your children
see people who have less than they do they can compare and get an understanding of what true
blessings they have in their own lives giving time to a shelter making things to share with
neighbors who need help visiting nursing homes and even going on missionary trips when possible are
always for your children to experience this when you go to these kinds of places with your child
point out how they can help which will give them a sense of their own capability and value to others
and a sense of gratefulness for the things they have one of the keys to happiness is giving of
oneself to the benefit of others giving produces gratefulness it is also an antidote to depression
and a person cannot be happy unless they are grateful these things all go hand in hand do
you have an experience or suggestion to help other parents with teaching their children gratefulness
or question about anything that you've heard here please write it in the comments below also
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