- Welcome back to another episode of Storytime
with me, Pear.
- And me, Pear's best friend.
- Whatever, dude.
- He doesn't deny it.
This is progress, people.
(laughter)
- Today's story is the classic tale of Cinderella.
- This is the one where she pricks her finger
on a spinning wheel, right?
- No.
- The one where she eats the poison apple?
- No.
- Where she has super long hair?
- Not even close.
- Huh, well, I guess I'll be doing
more listening than usual this episode.
(laughter)
- Finally.
(throat clearing)
Cinderella was a poor, young lady who lived
with her evil step mother and evil step sisters.
- [Orange] Oh it's coming back to me.
The step sisters were snakes, right?
- [Pear] No.
Dude, I don't know what story you're thinking of
but it's not this one.
- No snakes, really?
Nah, I'm sorry.
- [Pear] Anyway while her evil step mother
and evil step sisters did whatever they pleased,
Cinderella spent all day doing manual labor.
- [Orange] Hard manual labor.
Jackhammering, ice road trucking, strip mining.
- [Pear] No.
- [Orange] Cinderella even did shifts as a wrecking ball.
- [Pear] Stop!
- Ah, you didn't let me finish.
- I know very well what you were about to do, Orange.
- Nuh uh.
- Yeah huh.
You were about to sing the Miley song.
(laughter)
- That's preposterous.
- [Pear] Besides, Cinderella wasn't doing job like those.
She was working around the house scrubbing floors
and washing dishes because she was never allowed to leave.
- [Orange] Oh, gotcha.
- [Pear] One evening her evil step mother
and evil step sisters left for a ball.
- Oh, a ball you say?
- Not a wrecking ball.
- Aw.
- [Pear] It was a royal ball.
With dancing and music and fancy dresses.
But Cinderella had no fancy dress,
so she couldn't go.
- [Orange] Oh, that's so sad.
I don't like this story.
- Well then you're in luck
'cause it's about to get way happier.
- You mean?
- Yes!
Cinderella gets to go to the ball after all.
Her fairy godmother makes her wish come true,
transforms all the junk in Cinderella's life
into fancy, awesome princess stuff.
- [Orange] Oh.
- What, is that not what you had in mind?
- I mean, my idea had more Miley Cyrus in it
but yours seems pretty happy too, I guess.
Go on.
- Yeah, I will, thanks.
So Cinderella had all these awesome things,
a beautiful dress, a pumpkin carriage, glass slippers.
- [Orange] Glass slippers?
That sounds dangerous and inconvenient.
- [Pear] Well they weren't.
They were awesome!
The one catch was this, Cinderella had to be back
before midnight 'cause that's when the magic spell ended.
- [Orange] Also, midnight's when the werewolves come out!
- There are no werewolves in this story, Orange!
No wrecking balls, no ice road truckers,
and no werewolves!
This is a classic fairytale
and you are not going to ruin it.
- Okay, fine.
We'll tell it howl you like it told.
(laughter)
(frustrated yell)
- [Pear] So Cinderella arrived
at the royal ball and entered.
- [Orange] Like a wrecking ball!
(frustrated yelling)
- [Pear] Prince Charming went over to Cinderella
and they started dancing and they kept dancing.
All the other ladies at the party
were getting super jealous.
Especially her evil step mother and step sisters.
- Yes, I suppose they would be jealous.
- They are people, not snakes!
- Okay, okay.
Whatever you say.
(frustrated yell)
- Anyway.
Cinderella and Price Charming danced the night away
and she lost track of time.
Suddenly the clock struck twelve and she had to book it!
- [Orange] Because of the werewolves.
- [Pear] No, because her fancy stuff
started to change back to normal.
And as she raced down the front steps
of the castle, she lost her glass slipper.
- [Orange] Which, of course, disappeared
because all of her other fancy magic stuff
was disappearing too.
- [Pear] Um, actually, no.
The slipper didn't disappear.
It stayed there, permanently.
- Huh, why?
- Wow, good point.
I actually don't know.
- It's just that, if the fairy godmother
can make permanent stuff why not let Cinderella
keep everything?
- Yeah, that's a plot hole.
There's no good reason it stayed.
- This fairy godmother seems mean.
Are you sure she wasn't her fairy step mother in disguise?
(laughter)
- Dude, I can't explain the slipper okay?
I don't know.
- Then I get to finish the story.
Bring in the werewolf wrecking balls!
(laughter)
- [Pear] Orange!
- [Orange] Woohoo, best ending ever!
I came in werewolf wrecking balls.
Yeah!
- [Pear] Oh, I give up.
(upbeat music)