- You might want to watch this video til the end.
(giggling)
(shimmering) (horse whinnying)
What up, everyone?
It's your girl, Superwoman!
And these days, ads are everywhere.
I mean, there's probably one right there.
There's probably one right there.
You probably watched one before this video started to play.
And you didn't click Skip
because you want Lilly to have nice things.
Wait, what? Who said that? (ding)
And I'm sure you've all seen
the following types of commercials.
Number one, medical commercials.
Okay, now I know medical commercials
are supposed to be like serious and important
cuz they're related to health and I should respect that.
But here's the thing.
Every time I see one, I kinda laugh out loud.
They're like horror movies.
OK, I'm not supposed to find them funny,
but I do.
I'm that jerk.
And here's the thing with medical commercials, right?
I feel like the visuals never match
all the horrible things being said.
I feel like these commercials are usually
selling some sort of relief drug.
And so the beginning is all sad and intense,
just like "Do you have knee pain?"
And then there's gonna be a woman looking out the window,
looking all depressed because her knee hurts.
Suddenly her kids won't talk to her,
she'll lose every game of Bingo, and her dog runs away.
Why? Because of her knee pain.
Her life is ruined because her knee hurts.
It's a very complex storyline.
But this drug, this drug right here that I'm selling to you,
once you take this drug, all your worries are gonna go away.
You know why?
Because now suddenly she's winning the lottery. Why?
Cuz she has no knee pain.
She straight up popped a pill,
and all of a sudden, (pop) that's it,
now she practices polygamy.
That's right, now she doesn't have one,
she has three fine husbands.
Why not?
She ain't got no knee pain.
But in addition to all these amazing visuals,
you hear this voiceover telling you
such horrible side effects.
(sneezes)
(melancholy music) Do you keep sneezing?
Or maybe you've sneezed once in the past week,
maybe once in the past month.
Either way, you deserve better.
Stop suffering and dealing
with the extreme disruption that sneezing brings.
Itchy nose,
aching head,
that weird face you make before.
(upbeat music) Now, there's a solution.
Talk to your doctor or opinionated best friend
about Sneezeaway.
Some people who have taken Sneezeaway
have experienced fatigue, loss of hair,
more sneezing, kidney failure, and death.
If you experience death after taking Sneezeaway,
please contact your doctor immediately.
Sneezeaway is not intended for people
who have a low tolerance towards death.
It's such a trip when you see visuals
that don't match what you're being told.
Like, imagine a ratchet rap music video made like that.
(electronic music)
♫ Girl, put your booty in the air
♫ Put dat booty in the air, yeah
♫ Smack dat booty, yeah, smack dat booty, yeah
♫ Wanna see you twerk and I wanna see you work, girl
♫ Rah, I said work dat booty, girl
♫ Dat booty girl, dat booty, girl
♫ Work work work work work dat booty, girl ♫
Come to think of it, that'd be pretty amazing.
I mean, that would be like the first rap music video
I could watch with my parents and like not pretend
like I have to go to the bathroom.
Just like watching "Anaconda,"
Like, "Okay, okay.
"She naked in the jungle?
"Okay, I gotta pee real quick. Goodbye."
Number two, perfume commercials.
Okay, I've touched on this briefly before
in a previous video,
but I'm gonna touch on it all over again
because I think it's hilarious AF.
If you're ever watching a commercial
and five random, unrelated things are happening,
chances are you're watching a perfume commercial.
I'm talking like you see
a slice of pizza with wings flying away,
and then you see a tree in the forest.
And suddenly there's a really hot shirtless guy,
and he like licks a goat very passionately.
And then some Gandalf-looking dude is just juggling plums,
and all of a sudden they're like,
"Beckham's new scent."
And I get it, how do you communicate
that something smells good through a commercial?
It's not like people can smell it through the screen.
But it's more so how they just like
smack you with the perfume at the end like, "parfum."
No prep, no warning, just like "parfum."
(calming music)
(whispering in French)
(dramatic flute music)
(whispering in French)
Perfume
by Piosson.
Number three, convincing infomercials.
Okay, I can't be the only one that's been tempted
to drop their life savings on a blender.
Infomercials will be the death of me,
because my brain is weak, okay?
And I'm easily convinced that this blender,
this blender right here that you're showing me,
will change my entire life.
I mean, how could I not?
Look at this, look at this.
Look how beautifully and wonderfully it's cutting onions.
What do you want me to do, watch this,
and then suddenly go cut some onions with a knife?
No, I couldn't possibly do that.
That would be ridiculous. You know why?
Because then I would be a sucker.
I'm talking blenders, cleaning supplies,
vacuums, cooking grills.
I want it all.
I'm watching these damn cooking grill commercials,
OK, and they're convincing me
that I've been cooking my steak wrong all along,
and I agree with them.
And I'm a vegetarian.
These people in these commercials be convincing me
they have solutions to problems I don't even have.
And I'm just standing here with my credit card, ready.
What's that? Call now, get two free?
Outta my way!
See, because the thing is,
they're not just selling a blender, no no.
This was never about the blender, okay?
It's about the lifestyle they sell with the blender, okay?
Look at this, look at all the charisma
this person's talking with, look how happy they are.
They're probably hot, they got muscles.
All their friends are in their kitchen,
asking them questions about their life and their blender.
Do your friends ask you questions about your life?
No, you know why?
Because you suck. You ain't got this blender.
And then they show all these shots of people
in extreme turmoil and discomfort
because they don't have the blender.
Okay, I don't wanna be one of those people.
I would like to blend with confidence.
It amazes me how many people
are still taking selfies the old fashioned way.
Look at this selfie stick.
I got the reach! It can extend!
Extend means more friends,
means more likes, means more success.
Look at this girl who takes selfies on her phone.
Where's the button, press the button, can't find the button.
You don't got time for that. I don't got time for that.
Take that phone, throw it away.
That's right, okay?
Don't be an idiot. Use a Selfie Stick.
- Oh my, how does it work?
- It's easy peasy lemon squeezy.
All you gotta do is put your phone on the stick,
and the stick sends a gold plated,
laminate graded, hyperactive signal down to your hand.
It's easy, it's fast, it's efficient.
And the best part is,
and the best part,
it fits right up your sleeve, just like that,
for easy access whenever you need it.
Stop struggling while taking selfies.
Are you tired of extending your arm
when taking that perfect picture?
Always missing that tricky button?
Getting no Instagram likes?
Introducing the Selfie Stick!
For only 12 easy payments of $49.99,
you can get your very own Selfie Stick.
But that's not all!
Call now and receive a second Selfie Stick
for the exact same price.
That's right, two Selfie Sticks for the price of two.
Number four, celebrity endorsements.
I would be lying through my crooked teeth
if I told you that I haven't bought something
solely because a celebrity showed some love to that product.
First of all, after Beyonce released "7/11",
okay, I started eating kale
just because the sweater said the word.
And Imma be real with you,
sometimes I have no idea what the celebrity is selling,
what the product does, what it stands for.
But I still cave.
I throw my money at them.
Okay, and I can't be the only one.
Oh my God, Drake released a new OVO sweater.
Ah, I love OVO.
- OMG.
Wait, what does OVO stand for?
- Um, October's Very Orange.
- What? That's weird.
- Why is that weird?
October's Halloween. Pumpkins are orange.
You're such an idiot.
- You're right, I'm totally buying ten.
Halloween! Favorite holiday.
- Number five.
These last types of commercials are my favorite,
and I hope you agree.
These are the commercials that are just awesome.
(heavy bass music)
I'm bold.
I make a statement.
I'm powerful.
I don't just survive, I conquer.
If I fall, I get back up.
I am confident.
I make heads turn.
And, I do it for me.
Always bold, always Bawse.
(giggles)
- What's that?
Oh, yes I did an entire rant just to tell you
about my exciting new partnership with Smashbox.
Sorry, what?
Oh, yes, that lipstick commercial you saw was real.
Huh?
Yes, you can actually buy the lipstick.
Yeaaaah!
I've been wearing this signature red lipstick for so long
and every time I post a selfie wearing it,
I get so many comments saying "What shade is it?
"Where did you get it from?"
So I had the honor of teaming up with Smashbox Cosmetics
to create my own red liquid lipstick called Bawse.
That's B-A-W-S-E,
Bawse.
And you know I'm always real with you, okay?
As someone who struggles with makeup and is not good at it,
this lipstick is perfect.
It is so comfortable, it is not annoying to wear,
and I never have to carry it around with me in a purse,
because I don't carry a purse,
because you never have to touch it up.
It lasts so long.
I ain't trying to touch up no lipstick.
Who's trying to touch up their lipstick?
The only thing I'm trying to touch up right now
is Zac Efron, if he so allows me to do so.
Also, it comes in a package that I had a hand in designing,
so I can tell you that everything about it
is 110% certified Bawse by yours truly.
Huge shout-out to Smashbox
for allowing this dream to come true.
Y'all are awesome. I love you.
The commercial was shot in their amazing,
wicked awesome vibe Smashbox Studios.
All the information on how you can get the lipstick
is in the description.
First, it is available online,
and later on it will be available
in Sephora and other retailers.
I am so freaking excited!
Okay, I'm done, I'm done, okay.
Shut up, (mumbles) Bawse, Bawse.
Look at my name, yeaaah!
(shimmering)
Yo, I hope you enjoyed that video.
If you did give it a big thumbs up.
Comment below letting me know have you seen
these types of commercials?
Have you ever caved?
Have you ever bought something?
Are you excited about the lipstick?
Tell me all your inner thoughts.
I want you to basically write your diary
in the comments below,
just all your secrets,
and everything you like and don't like.
I just want you to write it in the comments below.
You can check out my last video right there.
You can check out my second vlog channel right there,
and yo, make sure you subscribe
because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday.
One love, Superwoman.
That is a wrap,
and Bawse.