This is nice, isn't it?
Welcome to the EE BAFTA Film Awards 2024.
Yeah.
What a great
big bungie this is.
You all look amazing in your tuxedos and your fancy dresses.
It's like the opening scenes of Saltburn.
Let's hope it doesn't end up like the closing scenes in Saltburn.
What an array of stars.
It is no exaggeration to say this room has in it
the greatest actors in the world.
Yes, Yes.
With that in mind,
if the camera cuts to you guys, it might help - think of it like a script.
So it's interior Festival Hall night, having the time of your life
and Emily Blunt action.
Nice.
Nice. I'd like just 10% more though.
Robert Downey Jr action.
Yeah.
Come on, Andy Serkis, show them how it's done.
Now, you may be needing.
You may be needing those acting skills as judging these awards
is like picking a favorite child. Difficult.
Not impossible, but difficult.
So if you don't win, feel free to cry.
But remember your parents are watching and they never love you as much
as your brother who went off and got a proper job.
And even I have no idea who's won genuinely.
It's one of those things I've only learned hosting tonight.
There are only two people in the world who know who've won.
I mean, let's hope one of them is the engraver.
I always thought, like the seat planner would know
and they’d put winners at the front of the end of an aisle.
No, they've got hidden cameras.
They can pick you up anywhere.
So if you've got to scramble and climb over Cate Blanchett
to get your hands on an award, that is what you do.
It's a
metaphor for the acting industry generally.
It's obviously
been a tumultuous year for so many in the film industry
with the writers strike and the actors strike.
But I've been chatting to BAFTA
and asking, Is the future for screenwriters and actors looking rosy?
And I can tell you, they say aye.
Although they do spell that AI, so I don't.
It's just it's a quirk.
It is, of course,
traditional at this point for the host to make these introductory remarks.
But as we're all friends, I thought, let's give these extraordinary filmmakers
what they want.
So this monologue is over three and a half hours long.
But of course, when I say long, I mean epic.
Tonight's list of nominated films.
It's amazing, though, isn't it? Poor Things.
Poor Things, ladies and gentlemen. Yes.
When a child's brain is put in an adult's body and later this year,
one of those may even be reelected president.
Anatomy of a Fall was amazing.
Yes, it has already scooped one prize.
Actually, Messi, the Border Collie in the film won the Palm Dog Award at Cannes.
Bark Ruffalo is thinking, who's bum do I have to sniff to get one of those.
And what about The Holdovers?
A film about a young man
left behind at school over the Christmas holiday, hemmed in by snow and ice.
Although where I grew up, we'd be out playing football in that.
I found the arts very quickly.
And Wonka was an absolute delight.
Wasn’t it?
A film all about chocolate.
I think Wonka gave us all a Boost...
and a Twix and a Crunchie and an Aero,
which you might need to explain that to some of our American friends.
But it's it's about the names of chocolate bars like Hershey's, But they taste
nicer.
Oppenheimer was incredible,
telling the story of the construction of the world's most powerful bomb.
That script I know went through a lot of rewrites.
I believe in the first draft
right at the last minute, Liam Neeson comes in and diffuses it.
And Barbie was fantastic. Yes.
I keep thinking about poor maligned Ken, so superbly brought to life by Ryan
Gosling. Yes.
In the course of that film, Ken becomes a progressive,
a champion of the marginalized, a voice for the oppressed.
And if you squint at the end credits, you'll even see
Ken’s surname is actually Loach.
Now, I've still got 3 hours
and 27 minutes of monologue to go, but maybe let’s crack on.
Even Bark Ruffalo is glazing over.
Let's get the show on the road, shall we?
It's been an amazing year in film.
It has shocked us, delighted us, made us think and made us want to go out
and buy pink things.
Let's have a look back.