(bus horn wails)
- Boney Burbs, no Retail Rope, no Tilted Towers.
- Tilted Towers isn't even on the map anymore.
- Let him dream, or he will be knocked
the moment he hits that island.
- All right. Well, let's jump now,
we'll figure it out while we're in the air.
- Let's just do Retail Row,
there's a lot of loot and we can probably get
some easy kills to get us warmed up.
- Okay, Anya and Caroline, you go loot these houses.
Roach, you take those shops over there.
I'll hang out and harvest some materials.
- Uh, that's not fair. Why do you get to do the safest task?
- Whatever, he'll probably still
get knocked chopping trees, anyway.
- To the market, maybe they unbolted shopping carts.
- There's no such thing as a safe task on this island.
I could be sniped. I could be eaten by wolves.
There could be someone just waiting for me behind this tree.
- [Both] What the heck?
- Listen, dude, I'm mining this tree,
so find somewhere else to get wood, okay?
- Hey, screw you, I'm harvesting this.
- Oh, yeah? You and what army?
(cocks gun)
- Okay, we don't want any problems.
- What do you mean, we?
- Go ahead, kill him.
- What's going on?
- Who are these weird blocky-looking people?
- Chicken. (cocks gun)
- I was in need of some animal bones.
(gun firing)
Get back here, stupid chicken.
- You leave my feathered friend alone.
- Hey, your voice kind of sounds like my voice.
- No, your voice sounds like my voice.
- Why, I oughta...
(both grunt)
- Who's winning?
- I'm not sure, their grunts sound exactly the same.
- So what, like, is this some sort of mod or something?
- Mod? No, this is a Battle Royale kill or be killed.
I'm harvesting materials so we can build.
- Building, now you're speaking my language.
- He's terrible at building.
- Can we just kill these guys
and move on with our day, please?
- Tell you what, since you're such noobs,
we'll let you get ready, but next time we see you, it's on.
- You haven't knocked anybody in about seven seasons.
- Fair and noble of you, I suppose,
but quite stupid. (laughs)
- Just go.
- I like those guys.
- All right, you heard those weird round headed humans.
We need to collect as much material as we can
to kill everyone else on the island.
- Yep, we're doomed.
- We should go inside, I need to eat.
We haven't seen any animals
except for that wolf who tried to kill me.
- Wow, a fireplace, stairs.
Whoever built this house must be a pro.
- Hey, there's a whole kitchen right in here.
- Stove, freezer-
- Where's the furnace?
- Doesn't matter if we don't have any meat, idiot.
- Maybe there's some raw pork chops lying around.
- I sure hope not.
(latch clangs)
- What was that?
(character gulps)
- I've never seen that kind of potion before.
He must be a brewing master.
- (hushes) That could be the Ender Dragon.
- Could it, really?
- I don't know. I'm a noob who's never been to the end.
- He's running outside, let's see where he-
(raptor screeches)
- Hmm, I'm just going to write that down.
"Raptors are hostile mobs."
- Well, maybe it's safer just to say inside.
- I did it, Tomato. I caught a boar.
- Will you get off me? Why does everyone keep tackling me?
- Wow, finally some food.
That apple-head could feed us for days.
- I'm not an apple, I'm a tomato.
- Tomato, tomato.
- No, tomato.
- Are you guys in the Battle Royale, too?
- I guess so.
So far we've just kind of been running for our lives.
This other squad almost killed us, but then let us go.
- Another squad, huh?
Well, we'll kill them soon enough. Let's group up,
we're going to need the extra help,
since Tomato is a little slow
- I'm slow? You're the- you know what? Forget it.
- Seeing as all but one of us is some sort of food,
I think these raptors might get to us first.
- Not if I have anything to do with it.
Death to all dinosaurs.
(gun fires)
- So, that guy's crazy. Good to know.
- Don't get me started.
- All right, we're looted up.
- Are we? We always just have these same guns
and, like, nothing else.
- It's getting dark and the storm is moving.
It wants us to head towards Lazy Lake.
- Good, I could use some relaxation.
- No, we need to go kill people.
- Oh, oh right.
- It's dark, should we sleep?
- Sleep? No way.
The best strategy is to stand up
as high as you can on a building and not move at all.
That way you can- (gun fires)
- Well, that's not a good sign.
- Tomato, let me res you.
- Nope, something tells me this isn't going to end well,
I'd rather it just be over now.
- Well, (sniffles) he's ketchup now.
- Ah, don't you love it when a plan comes together?
- I've never planned anything in my life.
(gun firing)
- Got anything in your inventory
that could help us out, Block Boy?
- I've got grey wolf, some coal, and raw cod.
- In cod we trust.
- This doesn't look promising.
- Ha, those idiots threw a fish at us,
I bet it'll give us shields.
Wait a minute, I've never seen a fish like this before.
This is a native to the island, it's some sort of-
(gun fires) (Roach yells)
- Look alive, Roach. There's combat going on.
- I knew marine biology would be the death of me.
- Ha, take that-
(gun fires)
A little help on the res please?
- Uh no, I'd rather not.
(disappearing chimes)
- Hey, why don't you build over here like a man?
- Okay, I will. Just give me a few minutes.
- Can you distract them, somehow? I have an idea.
- All right, guys, you win.
I'm going to kill myself in surrender.
Sike, chickens don't have fall damage.
- We don't? Hurray.
(chicken crashes)
- Shoot at him, Tanner.
(gun fires)
- Ugh, I suck.
- Just shoot his blocks, he'll fall.
- All right buddy, hope you didn't destroy your bed.
(gun fires)
- I'm all out of blocks. Well, good game, I suppose.
(cocks gun)
(car horn wails) (car crashes)
- All right, these are way more fun than mine carts.
- Wait to go, Pork Chop.
Now that it's safe to jump over there, I'll just..
(man crashes)
- Well, I'll grab his stuff and head up there.
- Wow, we beat these guys at their own Battle Royale.
I guess that means we're the top dogs.
- Yeah, I don't know.
Shouldn't it say "Victory Royale" or something?
- All right, I can still win this.
(girl screams)
(upbeat music)