We have fun here with the cultural index, but that danger of over analysing something
is always present.
But we haven’t reached that point just yet!
TRIBBLES!
They are star Trek’s true threat!
I’ve rechecked and verified the data and no one can accuse me of not being through
enough!
Star Trek as we know it is a lie, wake up sheeple!
Those little bundles of fur and are insidious and have spread their illuminati empire across
the galaxy in secret using star fleet to facilitate they’re takeover!
The klingon’s were right to wipe them out but their conniving ways allowed them to circumnavigate
even total extinction!
Let’s go back to the start, the purring pompoms we see in the show already have a
hypnotic power over the weak minded, their quaint quivering and quite cooing causes copious
quantities of humanoids to lose their senses and begin petting the little buggers.
This is where the manipulations deepen and menacing machinations further because it’s
been commented on several times how petting a tribble is a soothing affair for the (pet-ter?)
peteree?
Petterest?
But this is no simple stress relief akin to stroking a housecat, …though the housecat’s
may be involved, I haven’t ruled them out.
No this is far more insidious, that fur they have is actually a dense layer of micro-porous
sedative deliverers akin to a jellyfish sting!
The undetectable toxin renders the individual affected by this powerful neuro-chemical that
will las t throughout their entire life.
Once you’ve touched a tribble, you’ve touched death!
You are now a slave to the Tribble Empire!
What more proof do you need that it exists than this?
While I was typing the words “Tribble Empire” in word, it underlined it as grammatically
incorrect and forced me to make them capitals!
AS if it was a real thing!
This empire of undercover nature would take extreme amounts of resources to pull off,
finances too.
An undercover network this large hasn’t been successfully maintained by powers even
as big as the Romualn Star Empire!
But how can the reach this level of technological astonishment?
They have no limbs, no hands to build nor eyes to see?
There are always those souls lost to the void of space who have secretly been recruited
in the Tribble slave army but the true answer is even more terrifying!
Those insurgent little invertebrates are telekinetic!
It’s often been observed that they eat constantly and reproduce exponentially and many have
questioned this seemingly impossible rapid rate of rumpy-pumpy but again the truth will
stun you, just like their venomous mind-bite.
They don’t actually repopulate that fast, it’s a myth!
Their advanced level of genetic engineering allows them to integrate a nano-transporter
into their skins that can beam food back to their motherbases deep in tribble space and
bring in reinforcements to a area where they have established a foothold.
The most damning proof of their superior high-functioning intellect is the feat they pulled to avoid
extinction at the hands of the Klingons.
Arne Davin’s time travel escapades in Trials and Tribble-ations were planned by the furry
fiends and twice he has done their dirty work.
In 2268, he was dispatched by the Klingon empire to infiltrate the federation, but he
ran afoul of the tribbles, stumbling into their plans and becoming an unwitting agent
of their evil empire.
You see the tribbles need to replace or indoctrinate key members of Starfleet and the Federation
to retain their control and Kirk was one such instrumental figure.
Their moment finally came to claim him and they swarmed him in mass converting his mind
in seconds.
The foulness of it all!
Not even Kirk is safe.
They then exposed Darvin to remove him from the scene for years to come, ensuring that
their sleeper agent lived on to strike again, while the Klingon’s learned of Darvin’s
apparent failure and began to investigate further, they waged war on the tribbles when
it became apparent that they had been behind the failure on K7 and fought them to extinction.
But the Tribbles saw this coming of course, obviously due to their ability to see beyond
the 4th dimension into the future and all alternate possibilities.
In 2373, Arne Darvin, now fully under the tribble-luminati strikes again, transporting
the crew of the USS Defiant back in time to K7, He thinks he’s there to assassinate
Kirk, but no.
He is re-enacting the commands given to him 105 years ago by the Tribble indoctrination.
His real mission was to bring a rescue ship to K7, in the form of the Defiant where they
Tribbles were then able to sink their metaphorical claws into the crew, and convince them to
return them to DS9 in 2373, to thrive once again, averting extinction entirely.
Khan noonein Sign died in hibernation the one we see in the show was in fact 82 individual
tribbles stacked on one another shaved and covered in tanning oil.
How do I know this?
Well, he is the tribbles alternate assailant.
You see this happened before the Kelvin Divergence, so that when the alternate universe spun off
from ours they could use him to defeat kirk and place him under the care of McCoy and
more importantly, their sleeper agent, this seemingly dead tribble here.
This tribble then used is biochemical reanimation agent to bring itself back to “life” prompting
McCoy to inject Kirk with Khan’s blood to facilitate his recovery.
Khan’s blood, which as stated is in fact tribble juice.
Now they have their fluffy little minds in the Kirks of both timelines.
And the Khan of the Prime universe?
Well his usefulness didn’t pan out here, this was all set up to prepare for the Kelvin
split so he went mad and wore revenge on the tribbles new favourite sleeper agent, Kirk.
Ask yourself another question, Why do we see no borgified tribbles?
It’s because they control the borg.
Wait in STO there are borgified tribbles?
Well then that proves it!
Thr borg only attempt to assimilate beings they find will add to their own perfection.
They ignore the Kazon but consider a tribble a prime target for conversion?
There you go!
Hell, this is bigger than I thought.
No universe is safe.
Especially since they’re allied to the Borg… borg..Porg.
Porg!?
Resistance is futile?
Resistance is fluffy!
I gotta get out of here…