- [Clare] What are we doing today?
- I'm gonna get you a new car.
- [Clare] Yay! It's not new.
This is all the mess that came out my other car.
I don't need half that shit.
- I say we're close to a 100 percent of that.
- [Clare] That I don't need?
- [Alex] It's always important to have
matches in the boot of your car.
- [Clare] It is actually!
Like, just in case you need matches.
- Match in my car and I don't have no fire.
(Clare laughs)
- This is exciting, I'm excited.
Do you have any good memories in this car?
- Not really.
- Well, that's rude.
I'm excited to get a nice little city car.
Drive it home down the motorway
when I'm going later
it's gonna be (recreates car noise).
(Alex recreates car noise)
- I can't believe we've no good memories in
this car, it's terrible.
I'm very excited to get a nice car and
this new car has cruise control, which is like,
totally fucking unnecessary for a one litre,
but like, I dig it.
And air-con, that's the most important thing,
it has actual air con, not just these fans,
it has actual air conditioning.
That's what I should be doing now, unbranded cups.
- You should like, superimpose, green screen on,
do you want your advertising to be here in my videos?
- [Clare] That would be a fucking ingenious way
to advertise someone, wouldn't it?
- Yup.
- [Clare] Just get the slip-ons printed,
whoa, that's genius.
And you can have the money,
if you manage to get a company to sign up for that,
you can have the money.
- You'd have to have hashtag ad in your
(car driving sounds drown out Alex)
- [Clare] Yup, that doesn't bother me.
Okay, you can't see that there, but Alex just pointed out
that the car has done almost a quarter of a million miles.
Sorry, kilometers.
A quarter of a million kilometers, in my car.
I'm pretty proud of that actually.
To be fair, I bought it when it was like,
there was a hundred thousand on the clock,
so it's not all my achievement,
so me and the person who owned the car before me, like.
I don't know if I can use any of this footage,
because the fucking sound,
the noise of this car is not great.
Normally, our rule is that the passengers are not allowed
to go to sleep, but I let you go to sleep after you
helped me today.
(giggles)
(Clare is drowned out by car noise)
That's a Drag Race reference for anyone who doesn't get it.
Broken pop socket yolk, another broken pop socket yolk,
so now we have to resort to this.
The car just beeped needing petrol,
and Alex was like "Fuck off, we're not feeding you,
in fact you're getting crushed."
- Like a little ball.
Never ever gonna drink again. Mm-mm.
- [Clare] Oh that's so mean (laughs).
- Think of all the magic moments in here.
- [Clare] We actually had difficulty
coming up with one, earlier.
- There wasn't one.
(Clare singing) ♪ Goodbye my lover ♪
♪ Goodbye my friend ♪
♪ You have been the one, you have been the one for me. ♪
- [Car Navigator] Exit the roundabout
onto Bothar na d'Treabh.
Continue on N6 for two kilometers.
- [Clare] (laughs) Bothar na d'Treabh.
Whoa, look at that.
Oh my God, we're here. Oh my God, we're here.
I'm so nervous.
- [Clare] Re-fuel, that's really funny.
Micra my hole (laughs). The size of it.
That's a nice blue now, I wish I could of got
my car in that blue.
Not saying you want leave, do'ya?
Are you getting excited?
Bye.
- [Clare] Ah God.
- [Car Salesman] There's stuff in the back I need.
This is my first time ever on camera.
(He and Clare laughs)
Definitely a Yankee candle that, that's nice.
(He and Clare laughs)
Fluffy towels, like, fluffy towels.
You'll have nice comfort driving back.
- [Clare] Oh, I'm very excited to drive back now.
Thank you very much.
- Thank you very much.
(Clare, Alex and Salesman laugh)
(joyous giggles)
(she shrieks with excitement)
- Oh my God, I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
Broom, broom.
This is like, I, oh my God, I actually can't believe it.
- [Alex] It's very exciting in fairness.
- Isn't it very exciting? I'm so excited.
Like, I'm a bit sad to leave my car behind but
I'm not gonna lie to you, not that sad (laughs).
(Rock music from radio)
(music continues)
I've decided on the name for the car, it just hit me.
Do a quick scan of the car.
Blue, the car's name is Blue.
'Cus it's blue on the outside and blue on the inside.
And then I'm gonna be like, do you wanna take Blue?
(ringback tone)
What's the bet she won't answer now.
- [PJ] Hi, you've reached PJ-
- What an amazing first call.
Oh I just muted it. I don't know how to hang up.
(ringback tone)
- [PJ] Hello?
- Hello
- [PJ] Hey babe, what's up?
- Can you hear me?
- [PJ] I can hear you, yeah, you're sounding faint,
am I on loud speaker?
- Yes, you're the very first call from my new car.
- [PJ] Very first what?
- You're the (laughs) you're the very--
(car beeps)
- Argh, No!
You are the first phone call from my new car.
- [PJ] Oh, nice.
What car did you get?
- I got a Hyundai i10.
- [PJ] It's kinda good that you're out of that death trap.
I also don't know why I asked what kind of car it is,
'cause you know, if it's diesel with four wheels-
(phone reception breaks up)
- Yeah it's got four wheels.
And we'll have to put a blanket down for the dogs tomorrow,
because I'll be really precious about it I think (laughs).
- [PJ] No worries, I fully understand that.
- We are stopping for a brew, I'm gonna get Alex a brew,
he thinks he deserves it.
My neck's pure sore 'cause I'm driving like this (laughs).
I'm so nervous in the new car, love it.
Last stretch home now.
I'll talk to you when I'm at home
'cause Alex doesn't want to take anymore footage.
Don't you not?
- No. Let's go.
- Ah, that was a long drive.
My neck's very stiff, 'cause I was like,
so nervous.
Fun little thing I figured out about this car,
is you can turn your passenger airbag off.
(giggles)
I said to Alex, imagine if we were just having a fight and
I just turned your airbag off.
(laughs)
Why would you want to do that?
I don't understand, oh I'm sweating.
I'm gonna go to the pet shop and get a cover for
the back seat 'cause I'm gonna walk the dog tomorrow,
and I'm now precious about my car.
It's a whole new (mumbles),
Alex is not looking forward to it (laughs).
That cars on, in comparison to the other car, holy shit.
(upbeat music)
Good girl, don't fucking start eating it now already.
Yeah, you also got a new collar, yup,
next present Mummy, next present.