- Maybe my drag name
would be like...
Because that's a first
and last name.
You could be...
- Come on, let's go. We have a new project.
It's your Mimi's house.
- Okay, so they closed on this house on Monday.
So right out of the gates, this gold--
- Bye. - Out.
Hi, Mom. - Hi, darling.
- How are you?
- Oh, good. I'm great. - You know Alex.
- Hi, Linda. - Hi, Alex.
Nice to see you again. - Good to see you.
I love it. - Oh, thanks.
- My parents just bought a home
in a really desirable neighborhood.
They are going to list their home in Texas
and move back to Oklahoma City full time.
This house, Alex, was owned by the internationally known
female illusionist Tony Sinclair.
Now you're probably wondering what is a female illusionist.
- Yeah, I don't know. - Drag queen.
So we kind of need to de-drag it a bit.
- Okay, I'll take notes. - Take notes.
This is late '80s, high drag.
We've got mirrors on ceilings. We've got crystals.
First of all, we need to have all the floors sanded.
I think that this herringbone,
if we sand it and stain it really light,
could be good.
And it needs to have no sheen. All this has got to go.
- Okay.
- I thought it looked kind of good.
I thought I might put that fake ivy around.
- Mother!
For God's sakes, no.
- This is perfect for our plants.
- No, Mom, this is gone.
- You know, if I hadn't seen your finished products,
I'd probably be showing you the door about right now.
- I don't know that my parents even have a specific style.
But I often hear my parents say we love modern,
but we don't want it to feel cold.
That's always the rub with uber-modern.
They want modern, they want things clean,
but they want it to feel cozy.
I bet there was a lot of drag queen parties here,
and this was the center piece.
But for you and dad, we're going to.
Mirrored ceilings. All this, gone.
- Now this is gorgeous. - It's so late '70s.
Maybe you peaked then, Mother, but this is the new Linda.
- Oh, hell.
- Leopard carpet, bye-bye.
- Bye-bye. - Bye, Felicia.
- And I was always trying to get that.
- There was a time in my career in the '90s
where I did leopard entirely too much.
- Unh-unh.
- And I've never recovered from it, so I just cannot do it.
- No. - Yeah.
I personally have animal print fatigue,
even though I haven't used it in well over a decade.
I remember I did these lamp shades,
and it was like leopard wrapped around them,
with like beaded fringe. - No, you didn't.
- Yeah. - You?
- Yeah.
- I am not a leopard print person.
I think it had a nice run.
But that was funny. Run-ner.
But the new runner will have a better run.
- Come look at the crown jewel of the house in here.
- Okay, now this I do love. - Oh, my gosh.
- All this has got to go.
- But this is great.
All these bulbs, that's really great.
- It's about 100 degrees in here, too.
I don't know how she kept her makeup on.
We have got to try to time this thing
to where when they close, their new Oklahoma City house
is complete, which leaves us with a very tall order
of renovating this entire house in four months.
And furnishing it.
Demo the entire island.
- And then the floor? - Well, everybody has an island.
- We're going to have a new island.
This looks like a hot mess. And so I just say it just all--
- So just demo everything, and you'll just put it back in.
- We'll need to make sure we have all the bells and whistles.
- State of the art kitchen. - For a chef such as my mother.
- Correct.
- To be able to prepare all of her fabulous meals in here.
- Her meals.
- My mother doesn't cook very much, and I don't cook.
I don't enjoy it.
My mother and I can make great reservations.
- Bye, Linda. Thank you.
Good to see you, too. We'll be in touch.
- Okay. I'll be over here checking on what's going on.
- That'll be fun, Mom.
- Probably just collaborating my ideas and their ideas,
and me getting x-ed on a lot of mine.
- Hey, we got some pizza coming here in a minute.
- All right. - All right.
- Hello. Spike, shut up.
- So, Pumps, what do you know?
- Oh my God, do you know what happened to me the other day?
This is a true story. I'm not even kidding.
So I'm making my bed. - Mm-hmm.
- I'm putting the sheet on my corner of my bed.
As I'm doing it, hand to God, my boobs clapped.
Like I was giving it applause.
- Yeah. - Just right there.
- But that's the only time it's ever done it,
so it sounds like I can make them clap.
Like it's a talent that I can like make them clap.
- I've tried to get her to recreate.
- But--I've tried it, and I can't do it.
- I think it shows how good of a corner you were doing.
Even your boobs were impressed.
They were like... - Can you imagine if I had sex?
He'd think he was getting a standing ovation.
- I'm thinking about getting--
have you heard of cold Sculpting?
- No.
- It's where they freeze the fat off of your body. Like--
- I'm gonna have to sit down for this.
- It's a non-evasive procedure, but it freezes the fat.
- Invasive. - It's an invasive?
- Non-invasive.
- Evasive is your being dense, or...
- Right, like you're evading the problem.
- Like when I was in addiction and I would be evasive.
- And invasive.
- So here's the deal.
Somebody freezes your fat and then over the course of time,
like, your body excretes the fat out.
- I'm saying where's fat on your body?
- On my boobs.
I'm improving this whole package for Jennifer.
- Oh, my God. I can't take it.
- I'm trying to look better for her--
- Narcissism, party of one, your table is available.
Here he is.
- I'm concerned about whether or not it would hurt,
but I think I'm going to do it.
Do you support it?
- I'm--I'm in. - Yeah.
- Oh, my God, did you highlight your hair?
- No, I was--I was-- - Yes, you did.
- I was in the sun yesterday. - You highlighted your hair.
- I was in the sun all day this weekend.
- Come here. Come here.
- Okay, they were very light highlights.
- You're asking me about man sculpting.
You're embarrassed you got highlights? Own it.
Men wax their whole beaver area, or whatever you call it.
- Oh, I think we might have passed it.
Did we? - Oh, my God, wait.
Yeah, I've never been here.
- That's the place. That's it, right there.