How we got together and why we broke up?
She'd lost her key, so I helped her to open her car.
She insisted that she take me out for a drink, to say thank you. So she gave me her number.
I'm cool with equal opportunities... and I thought it was a nice gesture.
At that time, I had a lot on my plate. I was working a lot.
Most of my free time was really late at night,
which isn't very social hours to be calling someone.
I had every intention of calling, then at some point, it kinda slipped my mind.
She was good about it. When I called her, she didn't try to play games...
like pulling the hard to get card.
Which was just as well, because if she had, I wouldn't have got involved.
When we met at the bar, it looked like she'd made an effort.
I have to say she was looking good.... and in my book that's always a bonus.
She talked about her work a lot. She's a hotel receptionist, and always meeting new people.
She had a strong interest in celebrity gossip, and most of her role models came from reality TV.
She seemed nice enough though, and I wanted to see her again.
I was interested in getting to know her better.
But not at the bar.
I'm a big believer in killing two birds with one stone,
so I invited her to come out alongside me whilst I worked.
I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't listening to everything she said.
But I did pay attention to what I considered to be the important bits.
I wanted to know what her motives were, what her hang ups were,
and what she had to offer me as a girlfriend.
She seemed to have a good heart. But, I noticed that she seemed to care about what
her friends would think of me, and I saw that this could be a problem for our relationship.
It was about 3 months into the relationship. Personally, I thought the relationship was
moving at a reasonable pace, and all things considered, things were going very well.
But then... the complaining began.
She wanted me to be more sociable, to meet her friends.
But they didn't sound like my type of people.
We bumped into them all the same. When we were out shopping for groceries.
I don't know what they said to her. But after that her attitude seemed somewhat different towards me.
She seemed more discontented than ever.
She said that I don't talk about myself enough.
But when I asked her what exactly she wanted me to talk about... She said that she didn't know.
She started dropping hints about what she thought we 'should' be doing together.
She probably thought that I wasn't taking heed, but I was.
I understood very well what was happening.
She was trying to change me.
And to me, that was a serious put off.
I had explained to her at the beginning of our relationship that I like my space.
I need to do things my own way, and in my own time.
I like my own company, and I only socialise when I'm in the mood for it.
She said that I never talked about my feelings.
But for me, it was too soon to really say how I felt.
I don't like to jump to conclusions about who someone is, too quickly.
And just as well. Because I started to see a side of her that I didn't like.
She had started using emotional manipulation tactics... It was transparent.
Really, I don't think that's fair play, and I see it as a sign of infringement.
As far as I'm concerned. There's no way that she could win with that kind of game.
The picture was building with time.
I knew when she put the ultimatum on me, that her friends had probably put her up to it.
I couldn't tell her that her friends weren't really in the
position to give her good relationship advice,
because that would make me look like the bad guy, that they were probably convincing her I was.
If she had just been cool with how things were,
we could have connected more on a level, and our relationship would have grown. Naturally.
But she had to try to force it.
When she said that she needed to see me more or it was over.
There was only one response I could give.
To me, it sounded like she wanted what wasn't there to be had.
Really, I'm a peaceful guy who's not looking for any drama.
I'm self-governing, and I like things to be chill...
and she was showing clear signs of not respecting that about me.
She text me, a couple weeks after I told her it was over.
She said that she didn't really mean what she said and can we give it another go.
But I couldn't trust her any more.
I thought that she would still be harbouring bad feelings,
linked to my final response, and how it ended.
But more important than that,
I knew that she probably wasn't really ready to accept me for who I am. Exactly as I am.