- I went to Denver, too.
Denver, weed's legal. - AUDIENCE: [cheering]
- Some Denverheads in the house. They started it.
I mean, when you think about it, like,
$90 million for public education,
it's a great move on their part in the first month.
And I just--I think it's great that you do that.
Everybody should be--it should be legal everywhere,
and they're the OGs of it.
I went there, though, and it's a little weird.
It's next-level shit going on in Denver right now.
'Cause I went--and I went to the weed dispensary
that the TSA agent told me to go to.
- AUDIENCE: [laughter and applause]
- I was like, "This feels a little illegal."
[laughs]
"Feels like you shouldn't be doing this."
But I went to Denver and I smoked all the weed there.
And I already have anxiety. And I think it was a mistake,
'cause I have anxiety already, it was all new weed,
and I was staying in a place I had never been before.
And I made the mistake of putting on the movie
"It Follows."
- AUDIENCE: [laughter]
- Yeah, exactly.
If you've never seen "It Follows,"
it's a horror film about a sexually transmitted ghost.
- AUDIENCE: [laughter]
- That's literally all it's about.
This dude fucks a girl and then he's like,
"Oh shh--my bad. You got a ghost now."
- AUDIENCE: [laughter]
- That's the whole movie.
And I hope I'm not ruining "It Follows" for you, but also,
come on, it's "It Follows."
You're fine. Uh... [laughs]
But you can't help but watch that and start thinking
about your own 20s already with anxiety and on the weed.
Like, I watched it and you can't help but think like,
"Damn, I probably got that shit, too."
- AUDIENCE: [laughter]
- "I missed out on herpes, but I definitely got that STG,
no doubt about it."
I do live in LA now, though.
Weed's legal. LeBron's there.
I love--that's the only things I care about, so...
I'm a fan, I guess, but it's weird,
I noticed it's changing me a little bit,
'cause I did walk in a coffee shop the other day,
and I looked around, and I just yelled out loud,
"Oh, shit, y'all got hella oat milk!"
- AUDIENCE: [laughter]
- And I was like, "Wait, do I say things like that?
I don't know."
I guess I do.
[laughs]
I don't...
I'm in a relationship now.
- CROWD: [cheers and applause]
- Yeah, yeah.
I dated for...31 years.
[laughs] Uh, I was single for 31 years.
It was a crazy, wild time. It was fun, though.
I tried a lot of different things.
I was in an open relationship for a little bit.
It was an open relationship that was completely nonsexual.
- AUDIENCE: [laughter]
- A lot of people just call that a friendship.
- AUDIENCE: [laughter]
- They don't really like labels like that, though, you know?
I only lied to one girl, though.
I'm proud to say I only lied to one girl, uh,
the whole time we were dating. And it was a lot of honesty.
Like, I would be open and up front, like,
"Yo, I'm not looking for anything.
"I'm gonna end up moving from city to city.
It's probably not gonna work out."
But I lied to one girl
'cause me and this girl were out one night.
It was, like, a first date.
We'd had drinks and Mollys, so it was like a regular date.
- AUDIENCE: [laughter]
- And we were just hanging out at the bar,
and somebody comes in the bar
and they kind of smelled like weed.
And they walked right past us.
And she just looks at me goes, "Ugh, do you smell that?"
And I was like, "Yeah..."
- AUDIENCE: [laughter]
- And she was like, "It smells like weed, right?"
And I was like, "Hell yeah."
And then she was like, "I hate weed."
And I was like, "Oh...me too."
- AUDIENCE: [laughter]
- And in my head, I'm like, "But we just did all that Molly.
What is wrong with you? Weed is way safer."
But I went out with her for two weeks.
And for two weeks, she believed I never smoked weed
and that I never said the n-word.
And if you know me based on these last 10 minutes...
- AUDIENCE: [laughter] [cheers and applause]
- ...those are, like, two of my favorite things to do.
I actually wake up every morning and look at the mirror
and go... [inhales deeply and exhales]
"Alright, nigga, let's do this."
- AUDIENCE: [laughter]
- It's a great way to start your day, you know?
Try it out if you're black.
- AUDIENCE: [laughter and applause]
- I mean, try it out if you're not, at your own risk, but...
Also, in college,
I did try to start this fraternity High Nigga Pi.
- AUDIENCE: [laughter]
- That's a true story.
I went to the board and everything.
I was like, "Hey, I'd like to start this frat.
"Will Miles. I'm a freshman, thank you.
Frat's called High Nigga Pi."
And I went to an all-black school.
I went to Morehouse College.
And they looked at me and they were like, "Uh, Sir?
'Nigga's' not Greek."
- AUDIENCE: [laughter]
- And I looked at them and I was like,
"Y'all niggas aren't Greek."
- AUDIENCE: [laughter and applause]
- "Let me have this." [laughs]
"I need this." [laughs]
It's fun. [laughs]
I was thinking about my-- one audition I went on, like,
when I was doing commercial acting still, was like,
one of the most racist auditions I've went on in my life.
It was an audition to be the voiceover of a ghetto squirrel.
- AUDIENCE: [laughter]
- I don't know if you guys understand what that is,
but that's what it said.
I also didn't understand what it was.
So I read the bylines and they were like,
"Think about what it would be like."
They were like, "Look at this--
"you are either the zebra from 'Madagascar'
"or the donkey from 'Shrek.'
Have that in your mind when you do this audition."
And I was like, "Alright, that feels a little racist,
"but I'm gonna read further, 'cause, you know,
you have to do that sometimes."
So I read further and the next line just said,
"This squirrel didn't go to college."
- AUDIENCE: [groaning and laughter]
- Right, and I was like, "No squirrel went to college."
- AUDIENCE: [laughter and applause]
- That would be amazing.
That would be a hell of--a ghetto squirrel?
That would be amazing!
I mean, he beat all odds to get to college.
That's great. That's a great story.
- AUDIENCE: [laughter]
- That's the kind of squirrel I'd want in my frat,
High Nigga Pi.
- AUDIENCE: [laughter and applause]
- We would have a house.