I
I suppose I could say that I accumulated
all this stuff by mistake.
But that would have to mean a lot of mistakes.
I woke up one day and said,
"Where did all this stuff come from?"
I am a hoarder.
I like to collect tools for sure, camera things,
electronics of all types, computer components
and gizmos, survival stuff.
Got tons of books. I've got materials from projects
that I thought would be financially beneficial,
but somehow I got sidetracked.
And I could actually fill up a warehouse, I sometimes think.
It's time for a couple of pills here, huh?
Couple of pills. Let's have a couple of pills.
I'm Elesha, and Jim is my dad. All right. Down you go.
In 2019, when I lost my last job, I felt broken.
I moved in with my dad.
He thought, "Well, maybe we can help each other.
We can get this place cleaned up,
and you can find yourself again."
And along the way, that didn't happen.
Living in the middle of my dad's hoard,
it's been the most difficult experience of my life.
Feeling claustrophobic and suffocated in there.
I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
-Hi, Jim. -Hello.
Dr. David Tolin. How are you?
-All right. -Very nice to meet you.
I'm Dr. David Tolin. I'm a clinical psychologist,
and I specialize in the study and treatment
of hoarding disorder.
I see you've got a lot of survival gear here, Jim.
-Yup. -Yeah. What's that about?
Well, I guess you hadn't heard, the world is ending next week.
Mmm. Is that what you're preparing for?
Well, that's what I thought I was doing,
and to at least feel as though I had most of the things
that I might need in a desperate situation.
Understood. As I point out some of the survivalist stuff
and all the Doomsday prep that Jim has in the house,
he's able to concede that maybe he is erecting a wall
between him and the outside world.
If that's the case, then it's going to be
that much harder for us to get him to let go of things.
They give him a sense of safety, of security.
So what do you think is the bottom line in terms of
how this is all progressing and how this all happened?
It seemed to make sense as I was going along.
Yeah.
-But I finally got overwhelmed. -Yeah. It sounds that way.
And then here I am.
I'm going to have to get rid of some of this stuff.
There's no doubt about it.
I think you're right. Yeah.
I think that there's probably no way that we're just going
to be able to organize all this stuff.
I think a lot of it is just going to have to go.
-Good morning, everyone. -Good morning, Dorothy.
Well, thank you. Thank you so much,
[Indistinct]. Listen, Jim, we are all here to help you.
And we want to acknowledge you as being a Vietnam veteran.
-Thank you. -So I'm going to address you
this morning as Corporal Jim, right?
And this is your platoon. Here is Dr. Tolin.
He's one of your platoon leaders.
I'm your other platoon leader.
And everyone here is reporting for duty, right?
So, Jim?
Reporting for duty.
We are here for you.
It was a toolbox at one time.
Clothes in bags to the backyard, all in one spot.
That's going to go with dollies and things like that,
so put it over that way.
Wait a second. What's here? What do we got, Tyler?
There's two guns.
-Okay, stop! -Stop!
Everybody, out.
-Out. -Everybody, out.
We are finding a gun, on the average,
about one every single hour. Oh, you've got another gun?
-I've got another gun. -Stop!
Stop.
I have to call the gun specialists in. We say, "Stop."
He has to come in, take the guns, secure it,
tie it, tag it and store it away.
All right.
So that is slowing us down for sure.
Okay, let's keep going.
As I've been thinking more and more about this cleanup process,
it's occurring me to that this
is just not about cleaning at a house,
but it's really making space for the two of you.
And the two of you seem like,
even though you live in the same house,
you've been in your own spaces and stuck in your own places.
-Yeah. -And I thought maybe
this would be a time to connect a little bit
and just talk things through. Elesha, what do you feel
like you need from your dad right now?
Just for him to share with me more of who he is,
because there are parts of himself
I don't think he's ever really shared.
Well, it's hard for me to talk like that.
And of course, my daughter is somebody that I'm not accustomed
to expressing myself with or about or around.
-You're not? -Because I don't want her
to think any worse of me than she already does.
-Dad. -Wow. Now you're laughing,
but I think, Jim, you just said something really powerful.
What is it that if Elesha knew about you,
what is it that she would find out
that would make her think less of you?
I don't know. I guess, perhaps,
that I'm more of an idiot and a weakling than I put on.
Elesha, I don't know if you're hearing what Jim is saying.
Absolutely.
But he's saying some really powerful stuff here.
Absolutely.
He's saying you would think less of him
if you knew him more, and that he's a ...
I think he said an idiot and a weakling.
Do you view him that way?
Not at all. We all have our idiosyncrasies,
our imperfections, but we're human.
We're allowed to be flawed. We're allowed to make mistakes.
That's right.
And we're allowed to learn from them and move on.
-Yup. -What my dad did,
in his service days, that was amazing.
Vietnam was an interesting ride.
I bet.
I tried to explain to her what it's like to be
on a death march, where everybody ...
all the ammunition is gone. Everybody is done for,
and we still got five miles to walk to the pick-up point.
So what's that laughter hiding, Jim?
I guess it's hiding the fear and the exasperation
and the desperation and the anger of an insane situation
that you shouldn't have a bunch of guys in.
There was probably about 12 or 15 of us.
And we walked a long ways that day.
Yeah. But we made it. So we ...
To see Dad open up like that, that's rare,
and it meant a lot to me that he was willing
to take that step to just start taking off that mask
that he's worn for so long.
Elesha, you know your dad better than just about anyone.
What do you think he needs right now?
-Right. Right. -Yeah. Yeah, she's a good girl.
Well, listen, I'm really glad that we were able to talk.
Again, I'm really hoping that we're not just going
to make space in the house,
but that we're going to make space for the two of you
to have a good relationship here.
And that's more important than the stuff.
This is the last day, and I'm totally amped up,
because we still have stuff in the front yard.
We have stuff in the house.
I have Jim and Elesha working on electronics.
Yeah, we need to make that blanket decision, Dad.
Yeah, we're tossing the blanket.
We're boxing everything else up that's leftover.
I have housekeepers just scrubbing as fast as they can.
We're taking things that we purchased for him
and bringing it into the house.
We're doing everything we can to set this house up
so it looks like a true home for Elesha and Jim.
Come on in.
Come in! My God. What on earth took place here? I swear.
Well, just take it in for a minute.
Jim and Elesha, how does it feel to see your house like this?
-Am I floating? -This is a dream.
Yeah. I'm tempted to cry. My God, this is astounding.
What makes you feel like crying, Jim?
It was painful, but it's sweet.
-Yeah. -It's really sweet to see things
that I haven't seen for a long time, like walls.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Or to be so open and airy in the light flow is ...
Yeah, this is ...
-It's overwhelming. -... what I've been missing.
Yeah, this is it. Looks like new.
Magnificent. Wow.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah, I can see the walls and everything.
So, Jim, we set up this room as your sleeping room.
Sleeping room. Okay.
It's really just for you to come in and sleep
and have the whole bed to sleep in.
All right. Yeah. Yeah.
-The other room is as it was. -Mm-hmm.
And in fact, that's where all your guns are stored
so that it's been safe,
so that we can work in the house.
Sleep here, sort and organize over there.
That's probably a good idea.
I'm remembering when I first came into the house,
and I saw the little sliver of bed that you were lying on.
-Yeah, little shelf. -I'll tell you, Jim,
that broke my heart to see you having to live that way,
and I'm really glad that Dorothy and her team
were able to open up a space for you to sleep
and to be comfortable.
That's amazing. I'm ready to start living again,
and I do feel like the old boy that fell into the ditch
and had the Good Samaritan rescue him.
I think we can step outside,
because you know I can't help myself.
We always have one more little thing that we want to ...
just one more thing to show you.
So why don't we head outside and see what we've got?
-Okay. -Come on out.
Come on out.
Post, hut. Right face. Present flags.
Sergeant Ellison, on behalf of the Veterans of Foreign Wars,
I'd like to think you for you service in the U.S. Army,
and we would like to be a support to you
and your family at the Kannapolis
Post, 8989, if you would be interesting in joining us.
Here I thought I was just a lonely old veteran
serving on his own.
Oh, you never are.
Post. Present arms. Order arms. Thank you.
-Yeah, thank you. God almighty. -Thank you!
The parade really surprised me. Yeah, I was stunned.
I wasn't just surprised. I was stunned.
It felt really great for the veterans to just come in
and thank me, and it was amazing.
Group hug!