Just real quick, I want to say something here. I went to Google and I typed in nice guy. And I
found an article on Wikipedia. And I know you're probably going to read this after I say this,
so be it. But it is, this is terrible. This is actually one of the worst things any guy
can read here. It's basically saying that there's all this research that was done,
that showed that being a nice guy actually wins... it's like blowing my mind. I'm reading
right now. Is that it actually win here in terms of a woman choosing a nice guy over whatever,
another guy. I guess, the bad boy, so to speak. All these... I'm not saying this research is
false. But the results are skewed and I'll explain why. All this stuff it says here in this research,
it says that when they like interview women. It looks like they're talking to women and
asking them, would you rather have this guy, so they use a guy like named Todd for example;
nice Todd, a neutral Todd, jerk Todd, or Michael? And then they describe different characteristics
of them and most of the time they pick nice Todd. The problem is with this is first of all,
women will say these things because that's what they think they want. It's not what they actually
want. I do think that at the end of the day jerk Todd would probably win. Another thing
that's not really explained here, and of course it wouldn't, it's just a Wikipedia article) but
women are attracted to guys who are good guys, but not have those nice guy qualities
which I'm going to explain in just a second here. They don't say in this article that
women (and there's no studies done here) women are attracted more to the traits of a bad boy.
But those traits don't mean you have to be a crazy asshole jerk. Really, it's just more
masculine qualities that are showing dominance, assertiveness and being fun, a little bit more
carefree. I thought that was interesting. We'll go into this here. What are the 5 nice guy traits?
I'm sorry, I have more than that. I have 7. What are 7 nice guy traits that completely
make a woman run for the hills? Here they are in no particular order. One is complimenting. And
you would assume isn't that a great thing to do? Compliment a woman, say something nice about her.
When you do that, you're being nice guy because it's fake. A lot of guys will compliment. And I'm
not saying like, oh if you say one compliment. Compliments never come by themselves. They come
with a lot. They come with 2, 3, 4 every time you see them. Lots of compliments. And this usually
turns into over complimenting which means that you're not really getting a genuine compliment.
You're just saying it to get the girl to like you. First thing is the idea of complimenting. You do
it too much. It's fake. And it shows too much attention and makes a girl not as interested.
You think a compliment works. But it really doesn't. Next, and they even say this in the
Wikipedia article, by the way is agreeableness. They do think that agreeableness is one of the
traits of the nice guy. And somehow they think that works anyways. Forget the Wikipedia article.
Being too agreeable and agreeing all the time is boring. That's the basic idea
here. The nice guy is boring and agreeable is boring. And also it's a lie. It's false.
It's manipulative. It is more manipulative to be a nice guy than anything else. When you are over
complimenting, when you are just agreeable and agreeing with every single thing that a girl says,
it's not true. You're lying, you're only doing that because you're trying to get her to like you,
but also it. doesn't create enough tension. You want to disagree. You want to not have the same
exact opinions. You want to like different stuff so it causes a little a little bit of tension in
there which builds attraction. Number three, buying attention. We don't want to do this. We
don't want to buy attention. Meaning, you don't want to buy her things, shower her with gifts.
I'm not saying like don't pay for the first date. I think you should pay for the first date but
buying her stuff and trying to impress her by buying her things doesn't work. It shows
a weakness. It's showing in very clear ways that you are trying to be manipulative and trying to
get her to like you. It's very equivalent in my eyes in terms of complimenting. Complimenting,
buying gifts, all the same thing. I'm not talking about gifts like a birthday gift or a holiday
gift. I'm talking about extraneous gifts, but let's go to the next one. Letting her dictate
when you guys hang out. This is a real nice guy characteristic where you're very accommodating.
Super accommodating to whenever she can hang out, whenever. You'll miss plans with friends, you'll
miss plans other people. And you'll completely just do whatever she wants to do when she wants
to do it. Nice guy trait, unattractive does not help here. Make sure that you are on your schedule
doing things when you want to do them. And if she can't fit into those, then she's not interested.
She's got low level of interest and we disqualify her from dating you. This next one is a big one.
This is huge. Huge nice guy tendency. Everyone does it. I'm guilty. I've done it before too.
We got to stop this. Do not text her unless you are asking her out. What does the nice guy do?
The nice guy text messages her for no other reason than asking her out. They'll ask how their day is,
what's going on. Let them know what's going on in their world. Try to have full conversations.
Very nice guy. Very just trying to be there and be present. And think they can build attraction over
text. You can't. That's not what I want you to try to do. Make sure you're not tapping into that nice
guy mode, ok, that nice guy mode when you are trying to just see how she's doing. You want to
know how she's doing? Get her on a date and ask her there. Don't do this over text. Number seven,
telling her about your struggles. What you don't want to be doing is telling her about the bad
things that are going on in your life. Why you're stressed, why you're worried, why you're scared,
and being so vulnerable to the point where all she sees are all these weaknesses from you. I'm not
saying be robot and be stoic. I'm not even saying like man up, like don't be a pussy, or. whatever.
You can have feelings. You're human, you have feelings. All I'm saying is when you're "word
vomiting". all these negative things about things that are going on in your life or complaining
or whining, that is not attractive. I don't even think it's attractive to really anyone.
I can't imagine you as a guy being like yeah, it's really sexy when a girl whines and complains
and talks about her struggles to me. People have bad days. I'm not saying like completely
go stoic to the point where you're just lying and saying "oh, everything's great. My life is
perfect." I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that if you're overly communicative about the
bad things, the whiny things, the complaining things and negative things in your life. It is not
attractive. Here's something you can tap into to start this process of helping yourself with being
the nice guy. This week for one week try not to give anyone a compliment. Don't worry,
you're not going to die. You'll be fine. The world will go on without you having to do that. I'm not
saying be a jerk. I'm just saying be a little neutral. Don't give a compliment to anyone.
Practice this. This is not something that you want to be doing all the time when you're with
women. It's going to help them chase you a little bit more. And it's going to be less
manipulative. Save it when it counts. Hope that helps. I'll see you on the next video.