Thank you guys obviously the reason I called this meeting
It's just to remind you that
The reason you wear the red shirt is because you are just the floor staff
And the reason that I wear that black shirt is because I'm the manager. Okay?
Yeah, but what about the white shirt thing?
Well...
There are rumors of a mythical all-powerful white shirt, but they are just rumors. I assure you
Sooo, why is Alan wearing one?
Do mine eyes deceiveth me?
Nay
Didn't you hear? I'm a super manager now boy
Yeah, that's right
What are you still doing here?
Go stock those shelves
Yeah, yeah
Stocked up where you goin?
Where you goin?
Shiiit
Hey team, thank you so much for coming along
I just wanted to clear up some confusion about the the shirt situation because obviously it's kind of changed a little bit
So I've gone ahead with nice little diagram here which kind of goes through the whole hierarchy
So here we have the Red Shirts. They're really like
Hard-working worker bees if you will
So that's you two there, you look great in your red shirts, by the way. Now the black shirts up here
They're there. They kind of take on a few more responsibilities
so Rowan is modeling the black shirt for us today, thank you Rowan
Here's the white shirt, which obviously I am I am wearing today. So
At the end of the day, it's it's just a piece of fabric
It does mean that I am the super manager, but it is just a piece of fabric at the end of the day
So I'm still Alan. I'm still friendly old Al so to speak
Feel free to talk to me ask me any questions if you have them and
Yeah, that's it. All right. Well, you guys have worked really hard today. So feel free to knock off a little bit early
-Thanks Alan -Sweet. Thank you
Actually Rowan, I'll just stop you there for a second, mate. Um..
Hey, sorry bruh. I just wanted to make sure that we're still
Cool after this whole lecture / White Shirt
- Yeah, I guess - Yeah cool cuz like the most important thing for me is friendship like we've been friends for a long time
I don't want this role to kind of affect our friendship.
Yeah, yeah absolutely. Yeah
Thank God look man, bring it in
You're OK, you're OK, you're OK!
Now listen...
Okay? Listen...
The store, it's mine. No, it's mine. Okay
I own it - you are nothing
Nod if you understand
Good
Don't you ever cross me, Rowan
Don't you ever fucking cross me, or I'll fucking kill you
I'm going to work you, so fucking hard
And then toss you a sidewalk like a piece of trash that you are okay? Nod if you understand.
Yeah, good.
It's almost over it's almost over. You ready ?
I got you
Okay, I'm gonna pull away now, okay, here we go. I'm pulling away
But you've been working really hard bro, so feel free to just knock off!
We'll see you tomorrow!
See you tomorrow
Where the hell is Alan?
Alan?
Alan, where are ya mate ?
They wants to take you from us. Sneaky little employees
Not listening. I'm not listening
Yes, they're false. They wants the white shirt - they wants it
-No, not them they're our friends -You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you
-I hate you! -Where would you be without me!? It was me that made us super manager! ME!
...you win
[in the background] Alan, where are you, mate ?
Alan?
Hey, what's up guys? Sorry. I said my headphones on... what's up? How you going?
Oh, all good
We just finished up for the night and wondered if you wanted anything before we go?
Nah, nah - you're both good
Thank you for a great day. Have a good one. Good night
Do you say something Alan?
Uh, no, no no, no. Nope didn't say anything, huh? All right, you have a good one. Alright
See you later. Yeah
No, no, no, you're good. Have a good night. Okay, you know go home. Thanks
Have a great day - yeah, you're a good employee. Thank you. See ya. See ya
So I ended up lost in the forest like seven days into school
Right, yeah
Have you seen him? Have you seen Alan?
No
- He's gone crazy. - What? What are you talking about? He hasn't gone crazy
Have you not seen ?
He's been an amazing manager recently. He's being so nice to us and productivity is through the roof, sales are going great
The white shirt has gone to his head - the power has driven him mad!
Rowan, this hasn't got anything to do with that he took over from you from manager?
He's gonna lose his mind if we don't do something about it. He....
He hits me
Hey guys what's going on not talking about me I hope ?
Well you guys have been working really, really hard so I reckon you can get on out of here some lunch. It's on me
Because I'm a good manager. Get on outta here.
Get on outta here
Actually Rowan, 2 seconds there, mate.
-Rowan, we saw it all happen -We're gonna help
[laughter]
Ah, you always know how to make me laugh man!
-That's cos we've been friends with so many years. -So many years!
Almost our whole lives
Remember all those childhood memories we share ?
Aha, yes I do!
Ooh, Alan! I've got one!
-Reel it in! -Okay!
-Ohh, I've got a big one! -Reel it in, reel it in !
Oh, it's a big one!
Louis
Louis ?
Louis!
Oh!
Louis! Louis.
Give us that Louis my love.
Why?
Because...
It's my birthday
And I wants it
The thing is.... you can't beat him. He's become too much of a c**t
Rowan, to beat a c**t, you have to become a bigger c**t
Remember how much of a c**t you used to be
Managers..... privileges.... boi
Yeah
Yeah, I can do it.
I believe in you Rowan
You're a fu**ing c**t
You can do it, Rowan
I'm gonna out-c**t him
Hmmm, shiiiiit
Alan!
I think you should get back to work.
What'd you f**king say to me ?
I said: "It doesn't look like you're being very productive and I think you should get back to stocking those shelves"
Repeat yourself one more time.
I said
Get back to work, motherf**ker
oh, shiiit
Rowan! Man...
I didn't realize it was like that
Come on player, let's hug it out
That's right..just two friends hugging it out
I pre-empted you son
Things gonna be different now boy
What're you doing?
Why're you holding that ?
-What're you doing!? -Do it now, Rowan
Wow, oh
I'm so glad you're back Alan.
Yeah, it's good to be back guys.
-That was scary that yeah. -Yeah. yeah
-I don't know what happened. I apologize. -Where'd you get the white shirt from ?
Don't worry about it. Don't worry about that But Rowan. I- I'm sorry. I think I took that too far
Well, yeah, I suppose you kinda did because you were kinda like literally beating the shit out of me -Yeah
-I mean it wasn't me though, it was the white shirt -It was the white shirt
-Yeah like, Alan's a good guy the white shirt changed him - Yeah
-Yeah, but the important thing is guys obviously everything's back to normal now -Exactly man
Yeah, I like massive pay cuts for everyone and also get back to work because lunch breaks f**king over.. I don't even know why...
I get it
I'm not f**ckin... Get back to work. I don't know why you're on a break
Because yeah, you're new obviously if you could stock the shelves, Adam make me a coffee. Okay?