- So I've really enjoyed getting to know you
and I just wanna tell you that I really like you.
- Yeah, I really like you, too. You're great.
- Okay. Then I have to ask.
I mean, what are we?
- Uh. Hmm.
- Stop everything that you are doing!
Never asked this question: "What are we?"
Talk about the lamest and weakest way
to try and get a guy to commit to you.
In this video, I'm gonna give you a completely different way
to ask this question in a way that actually empowers you
and keeps you in the driver's seat of the process.
Keep watching.
(soft music)
Hey there, Adam LoDolce from LoveStrategies.com,
where I help successful single women get out there
and attract long, lasting love
and do it with a proven strategy.
In this video, we're gonna talk about that dreaded question
of "What are we?"
Now, the reason why I hate the question worded that way
is because that question of what are we
is coming from a position of weakness.
You're asking him what we are
rather than setting a clear standard for yourself
about what it is that you want.
You're letting him decide what it is that you are.
Hell no!
When you are a part of this community,
when you're following the Little Love Steps
and everything that we teach,
when we're talking about commitment,
we're coming from the position of being the qualifier.
We are the chooser, not the chaser.
So that's why we don't ask the question that way.
So ultimately, what you're trying to do with this question
is you're trying to define the relationship or have a DTR.
And when you follow our process
that we call the "Little Love Steps,
there's what we call the three R's of the DTR.
So the first R is I want you to tell him
that you were in a stage in your life
where you're looking for something real.
Be very clear that you are not the type of woman
who does the casual thing.
And if that's not clear enough,
you can tell him your stage of life
where you are looking for a relationship.
It's very important to make that abundantly clear
when you're having this conversation.
The second R is to reassure him that you like him.
Guys need to know how you feel,
and we need to be aware of your feelings
when you have this type of a conversation.
So make sure you're making that abundantly clear
when you're having the DTR.
And the third R of the DTR is to redefine the relationship,
and that's where you get extremely clear
about what it is that you want.
And if that's not what he wants,
then it's not going to work out.
The three R's of the DTR is incredibly powerful
because you are telling him you want something real,
you are reassuring him that you like him,
but you are redefining the current relationship.
When you do this,
suddenly you are in the position of power and control,
and he either gets on board or he gets off board.
There's nothing in between.
Do you see how this is so much more powerful
than asking him, "What are we?"
And look, I understand, this takes a lot of courage.
This is extremely nerve wracking.
I actually had a group mastermind session
for our Love Accelerator program last night,
and one of our clients just had this conversation
with a guy that she's been talking to for three months
and I assured her
that this is the most important conversation
that she needs to have at this stage in the connection.
She was kind of hoping that he would bring it up,
but he wasn't.
And I reminded her that you can't assume
that there's exclusivity.
You can never assume it.
So you need to be abundantly clear,
use the three R's of the DTR and see what happens.
And she had the conversation,
and now she's in what we call Little Love Step number six,
which is an exclusive committed relationship
because he was completely down for a relationship.
This stuff really does work.
And if you're at a stage in your life
where you are ready to attract love,
then make sure you head on over to LoveStrategies.com
or click anywhere on the screen,
where you can watch the seven Little Love Steps training
I have made available for free to anyone,
because I want you to be aware of this process,
and I know that a certain percentage of you
who watched that video
are gonna want to work with us personally
to help you implement these strategies in your love life.
So get on it, go make it happen,
and do not allow yourself to fall in that casual trap
where you're going along,
hoping, and hoping, and hoping
that it will turn from casual to a committed relationship.
Take control of your love life,
have some cards, have that adult conversation,
go make it happen,
and again, if you wants some help making it happen,
come on over to us.
We're happy to help you.
Thank you so much for talking,
and I'll speak to you, you sexy, single lady, next week.
Bye-bye.