makeup artist James Charles just
confronted Tristan who is a vocal coach
here on YouTube and there's a lot to
take away from this and it wasn't really
a confrontation so sorry for using that
language but there's a lot to take away
from this and I think there's a lot that
we can learn from it too what is up
everybody this is Chris from the rewired
soul where we talk about the problem but
focus on the solution and if you're new
to my channel my channel is all about
helping you beautiful people improve
your mental and emotional well-being so
if you're into that kind of stuff make
sure you subscribe and bring that
notification bell because what I like to
do I like to pull stuff going on in the
YouTube community and pop culture and
try to see what we call learn from it to
improve our mental health so before I
jump into this James Charles video man I
just recorded like an 18 minute long
video that was gonna be highly edited
and I was really excited you're amped up
to make this like all day and halfway
through the video my bike stopped
working and I'm just like you know what
maybe tomorrow maybe tomorrow I'll do
that video I like you know this has been
one of those days you know I'm on you
know new medication I think I've been
getting a little irritable as the days
gone on and just dealing with traffic
here in Vegas and all that kind of stuff
and then that but like what we do is and
this is just you know a side mental
health tip like we just got to kind of
go with the flow and a part of me was
like forget this I'm just not gonna
record another video I already did a
video this morning but you know with the
extra time I do have I want to produce
more content so we just kind of kind of
you know accept things as they come and
adapt and change and just do stuff you
know what I mean but I hustle as much as
possible so here's another video for you
beautiful people there's something that
people have actually been asking me to
do my girlfriend has been asking me to
do it I think my girlfriend's friend
wanted me to do it it was somebody even
in the comments asking me to do it so
here we go so a little bit of a
backstory James Charles he is makeup
guru for those of you who don't know but
he also loves to sing someday he likes
to do it's actually something that he
was doing long before he did makeup well
anyways he did a cover of everyone
one day God is a woman all right well
there's another youtuber on the platform
named Tristan and my girlfriend Tristan
spelled differently haha she got me into
this channel and like we watched him who
washes reactions and stuff like that
and it's really interesting I've always
been a fan of obviously music I hate
when people like I really like music
it's like who doesn't like music
anyways but I've been a fan of that I
love like singing competitions and stuff
like that but I'm really interested in
like the way you can train your voice to
like I think for a lot of us or at least
me I'm just like oh it's just natural
and naturally happens but there's
techniques you can use the things like
that but anyways this guy Tristan who's
been to school for it and everything
like that and so he watched the Jam
Charles video and one of the reason he
watched James flawless cover of this is
because James Holmes was getting a lot
of flack for his cover a lot of people
coming at him about his cover and
everything and James Charles got super
defensive he put up this whole rant up
on snapchat just losing his mind just
saying this was on pitch and that's
about so Tristan decided to you know
watch the video and he critiques it
right despite what every single comment
may think there's not a single note in
that cover that is wrong every single
that is perfectly on pitch there's one
the shark or somewhere I've gotta stop
sister over here sisters being a little
bit what's the word misters being
delusional as well anyways I thought it
was really cool because James replied to
him he was like hey come out here and
you know give me a vocal lesson you know
and I'm like that's awesome like it's
cool seeing a larger creator you know
doing something with a small equator and
and things like that even though the
grants gave me things like Tristan's
channel is way bigger than like somebody
like mine but that's besides the point
uh-huh anyways I thought that was cool
so that I've been waiting for this video
and they finally released it was about
oh those are like 30 minutes long
something like that but anyways what I
want to talk about like in the in the
first leg a lot of this was James
Charles talking it was kind of split up
into thirds like there wasn't as much
with Tristan that I thought there was
gonna be a anyways a lot of this was
like James talking about how like
singing has just been a passion of his
and he's been very self conscious about
his singing he was calling kind of
always in the in the background
was always getting outside by his friend
and everything like that and he knows
this so I think something that we need
to take away from this is like he talks
about how he gets naturally defensive
and a lot of times like when people get
defensive especially youtubers
especially anybody who creates anything
like I've seen a lot of creators talk
about this like sometimes they get
defensive because that thing might be
true or it's it's right on point with
those voices that we have in our head
that say these things about us you know
but James Charles like I can really
empathize with him because I'm a very
defensive person I'm very defensive like
it's crazy it's one of the reasons so
many of my past relationships never
worked out like I just could not take
criticism like my my girlfriend and I
Tristen we've been together for almost
like two years now and we've only had
like two arguments right over two years
we have an amazing relationship and one
of them was like me just getting really
defensive you know and it was completely
insane it's just I have this brain that
has a screwed-up mental filter sometimes
and you know I work a lot on my mental
health and things like that I know a lot
of it stems from childhood but that's
part of my mental health is like got to
work on that like you guys like when I
read your comments like you man if you
could see the thoughts going through my
head when I read your comments like I
sit there sometimes I have to have other
people read it and see what you know
like what do you think they meant by
this right like it's just it's craziness
this seems crazy if you're on my channel
right now watching this video and your
subscriber you know what I'm talking
about you know what I'm talking about
like if people could see what was going
on this vine like anyways I like
understand what James Charles is talking
about but one of my answers for this
that helps me with my mental health that
I recommend you do is you know the
practice of mindfulness mindfulness is
about being very aware and present and
things like that
so I noticed more often that my brain is
doing this that my brain is getting into
defense mode you know what I'm saying
because my brain the way it goes when it
gets into defense mode it's not usually
flight it's usually fight
right I used to get into a lot of
back-and-forth online and things like
that like sometimes if any of you like
read the columnist sometimes I'll get
into a pretty lengthy debate with
somebody in the comments this part of me
is still there but like I do it in a
much more mature way but anyways James
acknowledged this about himself you know
what I mean
and so he invited Tristan to come out
because he knew Tristan was right but
there were things that he needed to work
on and him in Tristan you know they are
they do this whole like vocal lesson and
everything like that he goes back and he
tries to redo one of his first covers
which was a chandelier and like they do
that and twisting showing them these
different techniques and just like there
were edited Ness of it and training your
tone to do certain things or your throat
or your nose or whatever it might be
that's all really interesting to me I
don't sell him that girl from like dang
it now I had that song stuck in my head
because they go over it and over it and
over it and over and stuff but anyways
at the end of the video I really like
how James talks about how like you know
there there's a way to criticize people
without like bullying them if you will
and I think that if you're if you're
somebody with clarity if you're somebody
with empathy like listen to this advice
the reason I say that is because we have
a world of online trolls and people are
just trying to get a reaction people are
just gonna say terrible things to you
but aside from people getting defensive
I would ask you to be a little bit more
mindful of what you are saying and how
you're saying it you know what I mean so
that brings me to the next point I got
this comment right here that was telling
me to you know do a James Charles video
and and this comment was telling me
basically to talk about how truth like
James Hall should have never invited a
man you know tristin was being mean to
them and things like that and I'm gonna
address that because I actually disagree
the reason I disagree is I have trained
my mind to look for similarities rather
than differences that's another mental
health tip for all of you out there to
look for the similarities rather than
the difference is right so Tristan is a
vocal coach me I'm a mental health
professional I've worked in a mental
health treatment center primarily
specializing in addiction but also
mental illness and I've been doing that
for three years but going back six years
to when I first got clean and sober I've
been working with other addicts and
alcoholics right so like I have some
experience doing this and I'll tell you
this one thing that maybe I'll put this
on a shirt sometime in the merch shop
but I always say this the best friends
that you will have are the ones who tell
you what you need to hear not what you
want to hear okay now I will link up a
video in the top corner there was a very
short book by Sam Harris called lying
then I recommend all of you read it is
like 40 pages it is very short but part
of it talks about this like you need
people who are going to be honest with
you like I can empathize with Tristan in
that sense because part of his job is to
criticize people and tell them where
they need improvement and it takes a
very strong person like James to accept
that criticism and know he needs to grow
like me I have to talk to people
overcoming addictions or struggling with
mental health issues and I got to give
them that tough love
I got to say listen you're making
excuses listen you are deflecting listen
you are not addressing the real issues I
have to tell people a lot of things that
they really really don't want to hear
now a lot of people get defensive about
that and so I've had people like
straight up cussed me out for the things
I've had to tell tell them I've had
people tell me how much they hate you
know the treatment center I worked out
and things like that and like a month
later or something like that they come
back and they say thank you thank you so
much for being hard on me thank you for
telling me this and stuff but is that no
I'm coming from a good place you know
because a lot of people a lot of people
surround themselves with enablers I
would know about James Charles like fine
group but you look at people like Tana
mojo fouseytube
you know these are people surrounded by
yes men and women well yeah yeah yeah
that's great that's awesome and then you
as a person you can never grow if you
surround yourself with these people so
while I do think like Tristan did make
some comments in there in his review
that we're kind of sassy like the
overall tone of it was Tristan was
coming from a good place you know what I
mean like sometimes we do shove in some
jobs like none of us are perfect all the
time but sometimes there are some jabs
in there and some like poking fun you
know what I mean but I'm glad James
Charles saw past that he's like listen
this guy is trying to help me do
something that I love
but anyway say this video like James
talks about like don't be afraid to do
something you love because of the
criticism like don't be afraid to do
that like work through it and learn from
it and take the criticisms learn how to
filter out that the haters you know what
I mean I'll link another video up here
about how to deal with your haters I've
done something new on Instagram I have a
posted as many as I could but I get a
ton of haters right I get a ton of
haters but like look at this one right
here all right all right cool like I
just I turn it into a funny situation
you know what I need some days I'm able
to handle it better than others and
stuff like that but like I just turned
it into a fun situation I filter out the
nonsense I take the constructive
criticism you know what I mean I've had
some of you say that I talk too fast in
my videos well I don't know like it's
something that I try to work on but I
get very passionate and energetic and
the caffeine you know isn't doing me any
favors in that department but anyways
don't be afraid to do something that you
love or are passionate about in life and
I put it out there you know what I mean
like do the thing that you love and
don't let anybody stop you like wait for
you know the the market if you will to
decide on whether you are good or not
but filter out the haters do not focus
on only the negative comments so I'm
glad that James made this video it looks
like it was a learning and growing
experience for him I'm glad that he
helped out a smaller creator like
Tristan James hit me up let's talk about
mental health help me out anyways I
would love to know your comments down
below like let's talk
being defensive like I'll use someone
who gets very defensive and how do you
work on that you know like have there
been situations where maybe you get a
text right or a DM or a message or
someone says something to you and you
get really defensive and maybe later you
had some clarity and you're like oh
maybe they didn't mean the thing that I
thought they meant all right let's talk
about it down in the comments below and
provide each other with some support
okay but that's all I got for you today
if you like this video please give it a
thumbs up and if you are new I'm always
trying to help you out with your mental
and emotional well-being make sure you
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you are all amazing and if you would
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that's it okay thanks so much for
watching don't be defensive I'll see you
next time