- Would you rather host a cockroach orgie in your inner ear
or play a game of would you rather
with the mainstream media?
My name's Dom, - My name's Adrian.
- and we're playing would you rather?
Would you rather hot craft beer or cold, hot chips?
- I've been to the United Kingdom, Dom,
I can't reconcile room temperature beer,
let alone hot beer.
- The thing about hot craft beer is, yes,
the first one's terrible, but the more drunk you get,
the better it gets and the more
you get used to it. - That's so true
and your senses get dulled - Yeah.
- and you can face reality
with a little bit more,
say acalidity, - Pizazz.
- Yeah, pizazz,
just a bit more presence,
like, of God, - Confidence.
- Life, this creative world's so boring.
At least I've had three hot beers.
- Cold, hot chips get worse and worse
the more you have, but,
hot craft beer gets better and better the more you have.
(bell chimes)
- We'd rather hot craft beer.
- Would you rather drop a Mr. Worldwide song,
mid-set to a 100,000 people
or play a perfect set to a crowd of three?
- Being able to play to a crowd of three
would be an honor because you'd have all of their attention.
- Yeah. - That's what
I would gravitate toward. - Totally,
we used to host these underground parties in Bondi
in one of the storm water drains,
and you can only fit three people in there,
by the time we put the decks and the speakers there,
and best nights, you know,
of my life. - People hear
the acoustics in those spaces are out of control.
It's amazing. - Totally.
- So less is way more.
Would you rather have your own podcast,
but you can only use the word ham,
as in leg of ham, as in,
you know, ham and cheese,
or have a podcast about different types of sand?
- Ham, ham, ham.
- Yeah. - Ham, ham, ham, ham.
- Ham. - So ham,
and ham, ham,
ham, ham, ham.
- Yeah, ham, ham, ham, ham,
but then you're also like, okay,
so today we're gonna talk about silica.
- Well ham, ham, ham,
ha, ha, ham, ham.
Ham, ham, ham. - Yeah.
- Ham, ham, ham. - But when you walk
on the thicker, bigger grains of sand,
you know, - Ham.
- you get less sand on your feet.
But when you go up to bloody Queensland
and it's that white squeaky sand,
well, - Ham, ham, ham.
- it's not only like as hot as the fire pits of Hades.
It's impossible to get that pristine sound off your skin.
- Ham, ham. - Yeah.
Would you rather drink cold brew pressed in a urinal,
but go without coffee for the rest of your life?
- Hmm. - That's a pretty simple one
because our local cafe actually does
a urinal pressed cold-brew. - Urinal kegs
are actually fantastic in a plunger
because they're already circular and cylindrical.
- Hmm. - So you put a urinal keg
just under the bottom of the French press
and you press it down with the coffee,
and it releases like fruit of the forest,
you know? - You're also
really supporting one of Bondi's
kind of greatest characters, Trough Boy,
who was like, well known by locals
for just laying in the troughs of bars and pubs.
And he liked to get pissed on,
but he kind of developed that personality
into opening his own cafe. - Yeah.
- And yeah, it's just great to support local businesses,
particularly after such a hard year.
- Totally, and there's no way
that I would go a single day without coffee,
let alone the rest of my life.
- Would you rather go to a sober dush doof
or see any mainstream artist live in concert?
- If we were to go to a mainstream concept, right,
we'd be surrounded by people who chew gum,
hose their driveway, have a timeshare on a boat,
live on an estate in Kenthurst,
and go to a winery once a year.
But when you go to a bush doof
even if it was sober, you kind of like,
oh actually I'm doing great.
'Cause when you go to bush doof,
there are tons of squinters there,
people with really kind of dreads in their beards,
and you're like, what do you even do for your life?
How are you even alive?
Wow, I'm so glad that you exist
because I'm doing so much better than you
and being sober,
I can comprehend that actually by living in Bondi,
I'm just so much more successful
than anyone that ever goes to a bush doof, ever.
- Would you rather wear used underwear from a thrift shop
or rock fast fashion? (chuckles)
- I'd rather, you know,
where you used underwear from a thrift shop.
It's like the concept of a skiddy
does not put me off whatsoever.
You know, we've got human bodies,
it's nice to be reminded that strangers have arseholes too
and even if we see a bit of kind of caked in excretions
on one's underwear, it's nice reminder,
you know? - Keeps you grounded.
- Everybody poos, everybody wees,
and in fact Dom,
because you have zero arse cheeks,
you're skiddies sometimes find
their way through to the denim.
Dom's bum hole looks like a, you know,
a puckered mouth,
because he's having no bum cheeks,
there's really nothing protecting his anus.
So it protrudes quite a lot,
and it's more of a condition, I'm not trying to be dirty,
but it's, - I think we answered
the question about three minutes ago.
We'd use underwear from the thrift shop.
That's what we would rather do.
- But you do have a weird bum hole
because you have no cheeks.
Would you rather buy vintage leather cowboy boots
worn by Kevin Parker and not be able to eat for a week,
or be able to eat for a week,
but be bootless?
I'd rather wear vintage leather cowboy boots and not eat.
I pay thousands of dollars to go for a week
and not eat at some retreat in Mullumbimby, you know?
- Hmm. - But if I could not eat
and get some boots worn by Kevin Parker.
- 18 buck pair of boots from
Toonies. - Toonies, yeah like,
cool. - Done.
(upbeat music)